The sun was bright and the breeze was nowhere to be found.
I sat alone but that wasn't a bad thing.

The peace I needed was not what a average man desired .
Most of those I knew had lovers , wives, family's , jobs that paid well and destroyed there souls all the same .

I had no responsibilities some thought this wrong.

I had once had a woman.
I in truth had known the comfort of many.

I loved one she no longer thought the same.

I never settled for something else when I could have that which I desired .

I didn't know freedom we all have our boundaries.
But sometimes alone in the silence I knew a peace few ever could .

I had the page and that was good enough for now .

Now if only I had a cool breeze and a cold drink then you probably wouldn't be reading this.

For life is always best lived not written about.

This was simply a pit stop and nothing more .

Cheers.

Tonight like any other you won't say goodnight.
I won't tell the truth and you won't dare to ask.

The message will be lost behind the laugh and I will just bury myself with yet another illusion.

Truth is simple people are not.

We somehow missed the point and connected just a little to late .

Crossed lines burned at the edges.
You can't plan life it just happens.

And the worst fools never allow themselves to know if it was anything worth a **** to begin with.

We can't live never knowing in fear of falling flat upon are faces.
It seems the closer you become the further the delusion grows .

It is sad what a person can mask in fear .

Another night passed .
Eventually there won't be a second chance .

We ran that dream down the shore line that night.

Sat watched the lights off in the distance nothing was shared for you didn't have anything left.

And I was a memory sitting beside you in the sand that already you had allowed to be taken away with the tide.

It was time to free float, taking that deep breath in while letting the life force leave the corpse that’s been stealing breath from life for far to long.

All that defined me, every soul fragment lost on a far away dream that was in itself as empty as a tomb with timeless echos.

An existence wasted don't you think?  

The mind ***** my own soul while blood still raged hot through my veins.  I could have, but chose not.

There is a place we lose ourselves slowly with time , age and bitterness.

It never is questioned and often finds us alone when all we ever needed was another.

Maybe like animals we know when it's time and simply distance ourselves from the pack.

I cannot recall anymore what it was to be part of that which lingers upon the horizon .

As badly as I thirst to know I realize it is a broken dream and I need only too sleep we all lose something.

Down by the shore is where they will find me .

Caught in the sadness that is a misspent existence watching all those free horses as they run.

Life never stops but surely will I .

All those pretty horses will often remind you the true meaning of being alone.

She never said it was gone it just faded like a sunset and the light hasn't crept in yet.
Where did it go?
Was it the pill's the drinks or maybe a combination
of something we never cared to recall?

I walk towards the end as you simply walked away.

Nothing holds you better than the regrets through yet another empty hours night .
You drink to forget then you just somehow forget to stop .

Watch one to many a sunrise then repeat the cycle till one day your no longer here .

I'm not in denial of the truth I embrace it as once I did you .
And now I wait where others choose to live .

Catching a buzz and a one night stand in-between .
Painting the pictures that write the page in regrets and dead end streets it all goes to **** eventually why not have a smoke before the fires of your personal demons consume you .

I never cared for conversation's much to begin with .


And now I find little reason to disturb the silence to simply hear my own words spoken aloud .

It's definitely half empty in this case but at least it was a hundred proof  to begin with .

Never ******* yourself it was always a gamble from the start.

I could never pen the words without the inspiration.

You have always been the  silent partner behind the madness and I know many will read this wrong.

Sweetheart I am a world of trouble and a sea of regret .

But your presence amongst the insanity has remained my light no matter how lost I was you remained.

And no words will ever repay the debt I certainly owe.

The voice that laughed on the other end of a conversation when I found only darkness instead .

I owe you everything as now I find my place .

I know words are my path and you knew them first .

We are all lost in some way but no words can do justice to the
person that I know beyond this page .

Sweetheart I seldom let anyone in but we know the truths beyond the storms in this life .

This debt I can never repay but these words I can certainly write.

This is what I leave to you.

The soul is my work and this yet another goodnight.

No flowers to wither and no fruit to spoil.

Trace it's more than words but all I can give for now .

Hold this true from a joker and a best friend that lingers in conversation that which can so easily be cast upon this page.

A wink and a thought shared on yet another long distance call.

No words will ever describe what you mean to me .

I guess I will say nothing and just let the credits roll .


We know are truths and that's good enough for now.


Sincerely


John

We almost found it somewhere through are addictions and abuse.

Where the young and delusional tread we walked a path of broken glass and razor wire .

Bled the emotions for all they were worth than killed it in a second  now only I concern myself with a past you erased with miles between.

Maybe you let it seep within alone in moments none others may see .
But a fool's hope is all there is of me and you desired  the separation .

My time is not long for here as I do everything to destroy myself .

I question why I linger then think in death there won't be another fix.

I have embraced the scene while you have rewritten the act .

Let's ride like once before the miles ahead and the razors edge a promise and nothing more .
we lived in eight where most only exist in thirteen .

A ring , A bruise, A scar and a sweet once passion filled kiss .
Was it are love of one another or just a love for the chaos .

Nobody walks away unscathed from this dance .

I wonder if ever do you recall the past as I?

And the lights will soon dim upon this scene .

Never fear losing a friendship due to the ******* that is known as truth.
I have been alone I have been with many and I have been with you.

We can dance in avoidance of pain masking are emotions only for so long.

I see it in your eyes and if you were a book my dear I would linger upon every page .

I could tell you its simply a friendship but I never ******* anyone let alone myself .

I know what it is and sweetheart so do you we didn't seek it cause the best kind of poison is made of the sweetest desire .

There's not a night the thought I do not entertain .
As we know separately the direction is best shared together as one .

I have no words besides what your reading now .
And these will be the blood of my soul I cast of dark magic in efforts of reaching out to you .

The key is yours and we know our truths so believe what you must to get you through another empty night .

We know what this is and I simply wait to know what's under the cover so stop the game and simply allow me to read every line that lay between .