Some days I wake up in terror
The body would move if only the mind would
Send the signal
Feel safe enough to go on living
Those days I feel a cage in the shape of
My skin
Pushing inwards with so much force
I could become a black hole


Some other days I wake up vivid
Full of life
I can walk, run, lift
Smile
I can answer the phone
I can plan my days ahead
And the only thing getting in my way
Is a pain
In my lower back
That makes it difficult to make things fun
And a confusion
That makes it difficult not to wonder:


"𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘥𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦?"

I'm either

Grounded
Or burried
Or floating

And the world is either

Unmoving
Or too fast
Or too slow

It either
Ignores
Suffocates
Or points its finger

And I feel either

Nothing
Or too much
Or numb

We could be lonely
Together
Sequestering
Close open wounds
Interminably festering
Leave the world lost
To its doomsday devices
No more counting costs
And considering prices
This rife with
The absence
Of wholeness
Won’t hurt us
Alluring
Distractions
Won’t fully  
Divert us  
Won’t turn us from
Shared
And more personal gains
Won’t be sunny skies
Every day
Chances it rains
On occasion
But we
Would just lay still
And listen
And lazily wake
To the morning dew glisten