I suddenly remember watching you
Sobbed heavily while praying for "him"
"He" - who broke your heart many times
The one who contributed those tears

I remember well the day when you told us
All the "what - ifs" on this earth and life
What would I say if you left him - forever?
I answered silently, "I am now one of them"

Those tears were a testament of pain
Of certain sacrifices a mother did
Clinging to something - complete family
And I never understood everything -

I sadly bathe in that pool of your eyes
Wondering if I would become like you
It was then I realized that dreadful curse
Which embraced you and your sisters -

I detested then - everything I knew
Of softness, of dependency, of letting go
My heart was a rock founded by your tears
I vowed never to surrender to anyone -

I would never ever let another hurt me
And I prayed that my womb be closed
That my heart be locked with no keys
That my body be frigid from any touch

Years passed and I am successful with that
Yet a certain longing creeps unto me -
I wallow in the pit of my own curse
But this ends with me - I am the end!

feeling the heat, i'm hiding from desire
i've spent many nights by that fire
i feel alive by the light of my pathfinder
all of the other fights are minor

i set the sights on a climb ever higher
it becomes my mind's flight decider
widening my heights by trying to be wiser
hoping for my eyes to open wider