I just want it to end.

The hopelessness, the fear,
the constant critic in my head:
I've lived with them all for too long.

All I've ever known is this war, this endless battle.
There's nothing wrong with wanting it to end.
To wish that it didn't is cruel.

But why can't the best solution be the simplest?
Why do I have to keep fighting?

At times it's deafening,
and I'm so exhausted.

Why can't I just lay down in no man's land
and let this battle fall silent around me?

Why can't that be the end?

Because... I'll never know what's possible.

"It's ok, I feel sad too sometimes."

But not like this.

"You're faking it."

I'm only telling the truth.

"I know how you feel."

Not on my level

"Stop being so lazy!"

Lazy  ≠ exhausting

"Get over it, and stop feeling sorry for yourself."

I can't get over a mental illness.

"It's not that bad if you aren't cutting yourself"

Self harming isn't always cuts.

"Don't give your life away!"

Actually, good idea, what do I have to lose?

Sometimes the simplest mistake is the hardest reality check.
Learning from rock bottom achieves the greatest views then being in top of the world.
I've turned my tears to sweat in high Hope's of success.

You built me up as smart
Now you calling me a fool
You make fun
You make the promises a blur
Maybe I am dumb for letting it sinks
That I am so smart and unique

You stocked yours words in my mind
You didn't let me even think
Now I'm here
Getting the waves standing in my feet
I should never fell for your words
All you did was pull me backwards

-I hate it when I feel dumb

i was stupid
to be so naïve
and think
that i was different.
because you don’t
care.

we all hurt the same to you.

More you invest your energy;
More they ditch you

I’m hiding because

it’s easy to do
To misdirect you
To hide the true me
So that you cannot see

I’m scared
So I prepare
The perfect cover
And hope you don’t discover

What truly hides beneath the veil
That turn people pale

Just because I’m hidden
Doesn’t mean I’ll put down that pen
To write what I feel
To draw a tight seal
Over what I hid
What I hid
Lies in truth amid
But you need to open your eyelid

Help me see
A better day
A day with you and me