Surreal
Is the voice that
Is speaking
Mine but not
Mine
I can hear it
Too clearly as if I'm
Listening to a recording
What am I saying?
What's the point

I hear my voice
The voice I speak
Are my words meaningful?
What am I saying?
I speak to be understood
And yet it's always about
Winning.

From speaking
To almost losing the end
Of my words to
Resigning myself
To what is,
My voice is always lost
Lost to their ears
Lost to my will
Lost to the body I was given.

I hear my voice and I
Don't want to.
I don't want to hear it
Not when the people
Around me also hear it
And yet refuse to
Think about my voice
My words.
I don't want to hear it

I don't want to hear my voice
Because it is what I don't want
I don't want to hear that I've
Given up

It’s ok
That you forgot
I’m used
To it

I’m fine
All alone
I’m used
To it

It’s good
In the silence
I’m used
To it

It’s life
Not my choice
I’m used
To it

Not everyday will be sunshine’s and  rainbows , but having patience and keeping a positive outlook will give light to the gloomiest of days.

You wonder why she loved you
Deceit lust and betrayal
But  she did,eyes blinded
Till truth unfolds with time
Love it fades in the face of reality
Bitter but real

Let her flyaway
Let her breakfree

Listen,the sound of drums
Toes taping in rejoicing
Hear  the the laughter of freedom
She is no longer your prisoner
Let her walk with her head held high
She is beauty,elegance and dignity

You wonder why she loved you
Toture disrespect and hate
But she did,Ignorance
She held on though her blistered palm
Knowing not her worth

But she knows today
See she smiles at her reflection
She is beautiful not because you say


Let her flyaway
Let her breakfree

Pinky promises mean nothing all of a sudden
Oh what a foolish girl I am
For caring for the health of others
If you don’t hurt yourself I won’t hurt myself, I lived by it.
But you don’t care
So neither do I.
Goodbye.
I always hated the vulnerable side of myself
I know you so well yet you’re a stranger to me.
I’ll never go back to my own ways
Because I’m better than that
No more scars
I’d never hurt my younger self if she was to stand in front of me
So I won’t do it now.
Would you?
You wouldn’t.
So don’t.
But who am I to care anymore about you.

My lonesome heart
I try to paint my heart red,
I use the blood that it has bled.
Before it was filled with dread,
But now it is simply dead.
Sewn together with some thread.
Because it was torn and spread,
By the things you said.
With lies you had filled my head,
You had me so mislead.

I am ashamed
At how broken i am.
I apologize
For the amount of stress
I may cause in the midst of your
Efforts of trying to keep me held together.
I apologize
that i continue to fall apart
Before your glue has time to dry.
I apologize
That every time you pick a piece of me up,
Yet another breaks.
I am trying.
You are fixing me slower than i am breaking,
And i am ashamed.
Thank you.
Thank you for not giving up
On a broken piece of nothing.

Talks are useless,
Cause you don't want to,
Masked as fearless,
You put up your defences

I am not your enemy,
Your faults are not permanent,
But they leave marks,
Hurt and pain

Shall I suffer in silence,
Leave you to revel in ignorance,
For fear of losing you,
As I slowly fade

I am forgetting about you..
Your smile has gone away..
No longer written on your face for me to see everyday..
Its getting easier for me day to day..

I am forgetting about you..
Saved memories emerge from time to time..
They are full of colors of you and are easy to find..
But are fading away to darkness as if I were blind..

I am forgetting about you..
No more haunting smiles in dreams..
No more deep brown angelic eyes that made my soul scream..
Because I couldn't have you in my arms under the sunbeams..

I am forgetting about you..
That part of me is dying..
That part of me walked under the moonlight and was crying..
But there you were in the clear night sky simply shining..

I wonder if I will forget about you..
I think that part of me will not die..
I think that part of me will stay alive..
Nothing left for me but endless goodbyes..

Somehow I don’t want to talk
Because what I will say
Will end up being lost.
Silence, but at what cost?
It is not that I don’t pray
For this uncertainty to stop
But there is nothing I can say
To help me today.