I could disappear and never come back,
Without a soul would even keep track.
The thought is not to bare,
Nobody would actually care.
Maybe once a year,
The people I have dear,
They would need a saviour,
Or just a favour.
They would ask themselves 'where did she go',
The girl that couldn't say no.
I am not lonely, I am just alone,
I am excited to be on my own.
I am tough and I will get by,
Even if it is just me, myself and I.
I have all I need, I need no more,
No more broken hearts left to restore.
Is it to remain unclear?
What it is that I fear.
Is it to trust or to rejoice?
Or is it losing my choice, my own voice?
Thoughts running through,
My body and mind split in two,
My mind never still always in motion.
My head is a mess like a storm on the ocean.
I feel like a fish caught in a net,
I need all the help I can get.
My body is still, almost dead,
Just laying here hopeless in my bed.
My body and my mind are torn,
All life in my eyes are gone.
I beg of you, please ruin me.
Take me high for I want to fall.
Crush me like the rain on the sidewalk.
Turn out the light that nourishes my very being.
For I would rather loose in this wicked cupids game.
For I cannot live in a fair world
Where love is planned and earned.
I urge you to breathe for the tears.
See the beauty in a scar.
Notice the hearts that beat black
Dull; the world that is filled with red.
I try to paint my heart red,
I use the blood that it has bled.
Before it was filled with dread,
But now it is simply dead.
Sewn together with some thread.
Because it was torn and spread,
By the things you said.
With lies, you had filled my head,
You had me so mislead.
The smile that is always big,
Even when you're feeling sick.
The excitement in your eyes.
The way you can always see through my lies.
Your cute yet a bit dorky hair,
It suits you perfectly I swear.
You make my eyes open, now I finally see,
You make me happier than I thought I could be.
When I cry you hold me tight,
And try to make it all alright.
You smell unexplainable sweet,
You're the only thing I desperately need.
I love you more than a heart can take,
My love is so big it can never be fake.
My one, my only, my love.
My dreams will die, my heart will bleed,
A little love is all I need.
My heart is sore
I need all that love and more.
A love so big, it is yet to be found,
Only that love will my heart unbound.
Maybe under all this pain and all these tears,
Lies a person who is feisty and fierce.
This was never me,
This was never who I wanted to be.