I am in purgatory.
Lyrics dancing around me,
Enveloping my very being
And snatching me from this world.
Breathing,
Beating,
Living with marks on my wrists and ankles;
I am free.
I guess we never needed each other
Because I still see you every week around town
And it looks as if the blood's still flowing
In that closed,
Mario Kart circuit in your body.
And I'm still here
Though most times I feel I shouldn't be
So I guess that means we're okay
Without each other after all.

Your girlfriend is pretty but smokes too much
And my boyfriend is handsome but doesn't believe in himself
But at least the two of us
Are finally happy.

And I have finally grown out of the roots of my suffering,
The gnarled pieces of my tumultuous past
That have left me barren so long.
I am in love,
A tortured soul cast onward
And ready to take down my foes.
The beasts I once let suckle on my breast
Are today torn away for
I now know the meaning
Of adoration in the third degree.
I rest my weary sons,
Finally relieved of battle to return home
And rest their weary backs.
I breathe today
Exhaling the agony of a million sessions of chainsmoking.
I love today
Like an uninhibited soul,
No longer basking in darkness;
No longer begging for forgiveness.

You killed yourself weeks ago
But the wound still burns at the edges
As it always has.
I am the lost, the wandering,
The unprefered.
Waste away in the calm with the remnants of my sanity
And you too may understand.
I am the discovered faith;
The found Jesus of my time
Though my kidneys are failing
And I realize that my existence is drastically limited.
I am afraid of time,
Of the fact that he will probably go before me
But alas I am reborn.
I am awakened to the succulent love
I have by my side tonight
As my pen
Scratches away at the integrity of my page.
I am the sailor at the helm of my ship.
I will forever rest
In the solace I have found in your arms tonight
And the intelligence within the life we share.

His Down's Syndrome makes
His age a tough guess, I'll
Say eight to ten.

Wide eyes on machines,
Ice cream dripping on the
Pavement outside the

Construction site.
I wanna work like this when
I grow up, he says in

Young enthusiasm to a mother
Whose eyes well up with
Gratitude when I approach

And kneel down in front of
Him. So you want a job,
Buddy? I ask him with a

Wink. He suddenly remembers
His ice cream and bites into
It shyly. Nods, glancing at the

Tools in my belt, the scratches
On my arms, the brick wall
I've been attacking with a

Wacker jackhammer. Nods
Again. Well, I'll see you in a
Few years, I say with another

Wink, this time to his mother,
Who'd look her young age if
Her eyes weren't as tired,

But you can start with this
And get some practice. I hand
Him my Stanley Fat Max

Hammer. His ice cream
Hits the ground as he
Recieves it with both hands,

Looking to his mother for
Confirmation that it's ok.
Oh, it is. She mouths a

Thank you SO much...
They walk away, his chatter
High pitched and fading

Around the corner. And I
Head over to the foreman to
Report that I lost my hammer.

Don't ever employ me.
I can work a good game, but
I'm too soft around little heroes.

And so I spend my days
Wallowing in the contempt
I believed for so long
I had run away from.
I am constantly at fault with myself;
Teasing and tearing at my arteries
Though I am blessed with the peace
I fought so hard to know.
I am the goddess.
I find myself under the thumb of the world
Though I am the superpower,
The educated one
Who could overcome.
But I am barely an adult and
I am seldom believed in
Outside of The Legend of Zelda games.

I let you step all over me.
And I let you **** on my authority,
But I guess it's just my place.
What ever happened to earning the key?
Now I'll never escape this insanity
But I deserve it.
Because I ***** about the politics
And fight harder even though I've got the world licked
But I'm a street fighter in an arcade game
Playing the same jukebox melody
That annoys you the the point of suicidal tendencies.
I'm the chick in the corner shooting down advances
Because the boys have never read Palahniuk.
I'm a ******* waste.
And what's with all the haste
If I'm going nowhere?
It's such a shame.
I was on top of my whole world.
Now I'm throwing drinks in the face of life
But ignorant moves like that won't end the strife I feel.
But I tell you, I'm just like you.
Trying again and again though I **** up each time
And it's true
That I don't know where I'm going but
At least I'm on my way.
And I'm gonna stay
In the hell I've built inside this bed tonight.

A lady asked me today if I could give her a discount
On the **** she was buying
Because she had already spent so much at my establishment.
And I just nodded my head and ******* agreed
Even though inside I was screaming.
Because, *****, I didn't ask to save all those lives I did,
I didn't originally
Feel the need to talk the world out of suicide.
But I subscribed for the long run
And ******* myself over
Because I've got men grovelling at my feet
But they're all doped up on Xanax.
So take your ******* discount and
Shove it up your ***
Because you earned it.
But somehow I still haven't
Earned my day of peace.
Imagine if he was better at timing
And jumping?