I wonder what would happen if you knew,
Those times when I had a glimpse of you,
Smiling with those eyes that can't seem to be true,
Or on that day when we talk about dew,
And how my heart was racin' but you've got no clue,
Oh, what would happen if you knew,
How many times my heart aches for you,
Though in love I still feel blue,
For deep in my heart, I knew it too.
That there can be no such thing as me and you.

-MCJ

Let's add a cup of smile
With plenty of laughs.

Mix with hugs and secrets
That make our hearts thrill.

Set the oven of our ties
Heated by our trust.

As we frost our times with memories
Let's enjoy the sweetness of this day.

-MCJ

She was laughing as he pass by
Like nothing's wrong or worth a sigh,
Though deep inside she's about to cry,
She went on and live with a lie.

She watched him with a blank face
Like everything's nice and was in place
Though she's a mess and heart on race,
She went on for those long days.

She was with him in a disguise
Like her actions were not made of lies,
Though it seems her heart slowly dies,
She went on and tried to rise.

She looked at me with a familiar eye
Like telling me she's real and not a lie,
Though bothered, I just asked why,
She went on and told me she was I.

-MCJ

The days in August felt like rolling highway hills
and in those days I found myself
chained to a handful of wills

These days liked to crawl by
and I held onto the rope they trailed behind
hoping the momentum would tug me forward
but it all happened so slowly, I wondered
If I was in motion at all

August left on all the lights
and I followed behind her heat and turned them off
Simply believing I was doing what was right
but she kept on and I didn't mind because
I knew she was nearly out of time

So I tried to determine if I was an actor
in these days
or some type of spectator, distant and far away

August mornings felt like a fog
and I waited all afternoon for it to dissipate
but when it did
all I was left with
was an empty night
surrounded by unwanted lights

So I tried to hold on to the morning fog
I wrapped it around me
like a winter coat
and held onto those mornings
and tried to grip August Days

and when each morning left in a haze
faster than the morning before
I realized that the tighter I held on
the more distant I became
and I thought that holding with all my strength
would bring me back
when all along I knew,
I just needed to release these days
and it was something I just couldn't do.

I can't remember a day
I didn't try to run away
You looked at me and said
you thought you were the one
that would keep me still
- *fireflies still light up, even in a jar

It's late summer, too humid and hot to really do much of anything
without having your t shirt sticking to your back
like an extra layer of skin.
that time of year when the air makes the city turn still-
just for a second.
if you don't freeze the frame, it'll be like it never happened.

I'm lurking like a ghost in the woods,
my blue hair glinting through the trees.
I'm finding abandoned concrete jungles, broken skateboard decks
and graffiti scattered like memories from when everything was okay.

Sometimes, if I'm too sad, the universe lets me find a house.
One that makes me gasp; one that turns the air get a little colder.
I go alone, others tend to rush in,
spray paint in hand, loud footsteps and rough voices
echoing through the deserted hallways.
I am always quiet, always still,
i make sure to blend into the walls like i am breathing
with the creeping ivy.  

My heart is still searching for the place it will call home.
I've seen a lot of dilapidated houses and i'm still searching,
unable to find what I'm looking for.
My heart found an apartment in yours.
I never realized I was subleasing until someone better came along.

Its late summer,
and once a girl told me that it will get far worse before it gets better.
Well, its getting bad again but I'm still breathing,
so i guess that counts for something.

I've written 64 poems about you.
Let this be the last.
I plead and I beg you,
Become a thing of my past.

If you love me
Then leave me
Like you left me before,
When you left me for dead on our ***-tainted floor.

Get out, get out of my brain and my head,
Out from under my skin and the sheets of my bed.

I'm not asking for our memories to be all erased,
Just asking to ease the pain of lovesick and daze.
I'm asking for my thoughts to be clear of this haze,
And to find love easier than in the paths of this maze.

Is it too much to ask to come down from your high?
To remove the imprint of handprint from my hideous thigh?
To fall down from something which once made me fly?
This rhyme scheme's a mess and I can only guess why.
It symbolises the chaotic and desperate tears that I cry.
And I cry off my makeup only to reapply
Mascara tears that give me another black eye.
And I cry and I cry till my eyes are run dry.
Want to know something else I hate about I?
I said this is the last but I know that's a lie.

I cannot believe my life has turned out this way.

Where did it all go wrong...

Everyday is a battle with my mind.
Somedays I wanna jump,
end it all,
taking every aspect of my existence,
and discarding it.
Tossing it far away so none innocent,
will accidentally stumble upon the haunted remnants,
of my once isolated life.

She and I are over now.
And still to this day,
I am unsure how to go about this.
she was the last I could trust..
My final glimpse of hope.
The tunnel is dark now,
and i'm all alone again.
Your candle essence lit the path for me,
my thoughts,
oh how they dissuaded.
You gave me a sort of clarity,
filling Her position in my mind,
hogging the volume my first love,
had so rightfully earned.
Reminiscing,
it was better than the last,
my first.
I had assumed my heart grew too cold,
what with this abandonment from humanity,
possibly no one being there for me.
I'm already thinking about you,
I want to call you and apologize,
and comment your seduction,
and tell you every little detail you want to hear.
My love,
atleast I thought.
I already miss our conversations.
You were really the only one who wanted to listen.
You were my only dream.
You sob over the possibility of my recollection,
but this is not reality.
In fact,
you are as deceived as I.