don't feel sorry for me.
I am a competent,
satisfied human being.

be sorry for the others
who
fidget
complain

who
constantly
rearrange their
lives
like
furniture.

juggling mates
and
attitudes

their
confusion is
constant

and it will
touch
whoever they
deal with.

beware of them:
one of their
key words is
"love."

and beware those who
only take
instructions from their
God

for they have
failed completely to live their own
lives.

don't feel sorry for me
because I am alone

for even
at the most terrible
moments
humor
is my
companion.

I am a dog walking
backwards

I am a broken
banjo

I am a telephone wire
strung up in
Toledo, Ohio

I am a man
eating a meal
this night
in the month of
September.

put your sympathy
aside.
they say
water held up
Christ:
to come
through
you better be
nearly as
lucky.

i want to wake up at 3 am in the morning
and watch you slumber
with the world
which only us created '

My stomach is a lake of red wine and pills that are supposed to make me feel better about my life.

They didn't.

My hands vibrate and clench themselves into fists that are sometimes full of my own hair.

My eyes are heavy and decorated by deep purple half circles from lack of sleep.

But

Sometimes my stomach is filled with butterflies,
and I silently hope they don't drown.

Occasionally my hands are in another pair of hands.
They're held like a prize.

Some nights my eyelids are kissed lightly to sleep.
My pupils dilate from the drugs,
and from that boy's love.

The white circles I swallowed every morning are supposed to make me feel better about life,
but I don't think any scientist, pharmacist, doctor
ever once anticipated the thought of another human being like him.

I didn't even cry
all I felt was numb,
desperate to push it off my mind,
desperate to forget.

You.

Drowned in regret,
I tried to push it away,
all the things,
all the things,
I didn't do,
all the things I didn't say I tried to wash away in a bottle.

I can't pretend at all and I can't help but wonder even after all this time...

If you're still on my mind, am I still on yours?

Was I ever on your mind or was it an illusion I created, a bomb shelter, just a fantasy.

If there was something there could it be there still? I guess I'm just hoping there is a good reason I can't just close the door and walk away.

What more I can say? I was in love with you in every single way but too young,
too foolish,
too scared,
to open up my world to you.

Unable to feel truly anything for anyone except when I push myself in a trap,
Trying to think of anyone and anything else possible,
but my mind always wonders back to you.

I guess I'm still in love with you and there's nothing I can do.

The truth is you weren't even mine, I just fooled myself.

I was blind.

I guess I just need you back in my life.

But its too late now.

The bridge was ripped apart by a banshee in the night with no tears to cry.

I didn't even cry,
all I felt was numb,
drowned in regret,
I just need some closure...

And if you wanted to talk,
I'd be willing to try.

And start over new,
a new me,
a new you,
a new us?

I just hope you're doing okay and you're happy in love and in life in general. I'm sorry for wasting your time. I'd understand if you hated me, I feel like you should hate me now.

..........a part of me will always love you <3 ............

father flesh your vows were made
with certain good intent
better yet the brows you raised
could see no self dissent

strong, you were
a rock of sorts
which seldom moves an inch

long, you were
on life of course
life is but a cinch

oh so brave to walk the fire
the fire gone unkindled
a smothered flame to breathe again
once properly swindled

conscience plays a partial part
in stemming liability
but time you'll find will rob your mind
of valuable stability

it's a tell-tale sort of story
though no moral or no fable
and if you'll kindly pay the ransom-
the deed to my betrayal

we shall climb this rugged mountain
together we shall ascend
and once atop the sound will drop
"my father is my friend!"

©Jason Cole

I was a fool .
I was a fool
to have thought
I could have
wanted anything
other than this.
Anyone,
other than
you.

I'm worthless, I'm not rich nor wealthy, nor handsome
I'm weak at times, I fall too often, I weep my eyes out, take the wrong
Route, my life's a mess a distress
I'm sorry I'm a living stress
I'm not here too impress or undress you, I love you
I could careless about everything
When it means nothing without you
No meaning, eyes gleaming
Heads steaming, souls screaming
Eyes dreaming, hearts leaving
Forget me, Regret me, Hate me
For all the pain I caused
It's okay, forever I won't stay
I'll be gone away, one day
Everything will be okay
Trust the one above my lovely dove
Please move on with someone
Worth your time, won't waste your time, give you money, status, car, house, clothes, spoil you like you deserve, for you they serve, give you all you ever wanted, leave me to die
Cuz I'm only haunted
Trapped in wickedness
Physical demons all around
Won't leave gather surround
Deceitful hearts who devise evil
I rise among them, potential provokes them, gripchock them,
With jealousy, despise and not even close to being wise bcuz the wise speaks words of -Healing- not words that cut like a sword, blade, knife through my flesh and soul. So move on with someone who could give you the World....or atleast something close to it... Just know you were the...