She's afraid.
She's afraid to let me sail on my own
Perhaps because I almost drowned
When I was ten
And since then, she told me to be careful.
But every time she say it
It doesn't feel like a reminder.
It always feels like a goodbye.
For Mom has mistaken careful to strength.
And she thought she has raised me like a sword
When in truth
I only became a pin, bendable.
I am as soft as a pincussion.
I am the finger you place on with a thimble.
I watch my Mom as she works on my dresses
There down the cellar.
All her actions lead to my vulnerability.
She stiches the walls around me so I won't get hurt.
She patches me with pieces of cloth to prevent the scars.
She builds me a wall; I try to tear it down.
I try to tear her down.
But I can't.
It's not that my strength is questionable-
That's the problem.
It's because I know that she's not strong.
Mom isn't prepped for battle.
Mom is a hollow egg yolk
And with a slight *****, she'll burst.
She is a shield beyond her knowing.
She isn't the weapon she think she is.
That's why I have to be.
No matter what now.

Dear Dad,
I love you - oh so much!
I understand
that you were the one
who stood beside me
ever since I was little
ever since Mom lost it
and fled off, eventually.
But I still thank Him
for every single day
He gave you to me.
And Dad,
I know you're scared -
Daddies get scared too -
And I understand
that ever since Mom -
you have lost too much
But you won't ever lose me, you see?
I won't ever leave you!
The wind won't ever carry me away
to places you can't go
Well-
unless it takes me to the ladies' room
then you'd have to let me go.
But after that,
I'll find you outside and
hold your hand.

Dear Dad,
There's no need for P-38, no.
That P-38
You swore you'd use
that on every boy
who breaks my heart
But Dad, cant you see?
It's okay!
I want to get my heart broken.
I want to know how pain
is associated
after the expiration of love
I want to know how you felt before
Because I want to be wary,
I want to take caution
on the next dates I'd have.
And I have to get hurt
to build my own muscles
to become as strong as you.
So that the next man who
breaks my heart
I wont cry so hard all night
that I'd feel the guilt
because I kept you awake.
You'd then call me a princess
and pledge to avenge me
because princesses, you say,
shouldn't be in distress.

But Dad, I am not a damsel
of course not!
I am a warrior!
A ******* goddess at war.
You have to ingest
the fact that your baby girl
has grown into a soldier
in a war she trained herself into
because it is her war.
Keep your P-38, Dad.
There's no need for that.
She's in a battle -
let her win it
without you.

But dearest Dad,
at the end of the day,
I will fall inside the
castle of your arms
and tell you my
whimsical adventures
and assure you
that I'm still your baby girl.
That way,
you won't feel old and
you won't feel like disappearing.
Because you are my King
and kings don't leave
their daughters alone in the woods.

*

Dear Dad,
Somebody broke my heart today.
Where are you?