As I lay awake listening to the howling winds against my window pane
For a moment I thought I heard it scream your name
So i opened the window and let it rush in
Only to be struck by the frigid pain
Reminding me to close it once again.

You build your walls higher
With each passing year
With every new heartache
Laying new bricks of fear
Until there's four walls around your heart
And every relation is doomed from the start
For no one can live from inside of a cage
Breakups tend to illicit your rage
But Show the world yourself intact
Vulnerability is a courageous act
Don't let rejection make you afraid
Please tear down those bricks that you've laid
Before you're buried in the ground
In the casket framed by walls around
Free yourself before it's too late
Or a loveless life will be your fate
Put your egos to the side
If you truly want to feel alive
Don't follow the trend like the rest
Failure is part of the road to success
And hating love is the latest fashion
If you ask me, the world needs more compassion
So when push comes to shove
Move right on and spread the love
Hold your head up high
With each goodbye
Let it go, don't wonder why
Always Give love another try
It's the only thing that never dies.

The habit began
To **** the pain
After the trauma
I wasn't quite sane
It held me up
My crutch, my cane
Through all my mistakes
It shared the blame
The hard way taught
Me how to change
Then Years went by
And the baby came
So one by one
Old demons were slain
No longer wild
I started to tame
Sneaking away
Filled me with shame
But smoke like claws
Are dug into my brain
So I light one up
And stare at the flame
I love it too much
But I hate it the same
With defeated lungs
And yellow stains
I'll close the chapter
Of memory lane
I'll quit tomorrow
And break these chains.

You're an anomaly
He said to me
A little crazy
But to Mr. Swayze
You're like the wind
Always travelin'
In different directions
I think his intentions
Implied a compliment
But it felt like cement
As it brought me down
Because I've found
That to be unique
You'll face critique
In a world that conforms
You'll surely adorn
A kind of pariah
As you start to acquire
The loneliness
Becoming depressed
By the need to connect
When they're all inept
To the concept
Of your strange perception.

In a relationship
I'm not equipped
I'm too empathic,
The change is drastic
When in a union
I become a chameleon
I adapt
Till I'm trapped
I give to live
Until I find
My mind
Is gone again
I push away
My love it strays
In a daze
Stumbling
Fumbling
We're done
I run
To find clarity
My identity
Alone
At home
I yearn
To learn
Solidarity
Sincerity
For me
To be
Able to see
Entirely
My identity
As a singular
Entity
You see
It's not you
It's me
That needs
Protection
From your affection
That I lose
When I choose
Not to mingle
I need to be
Single

It's not the memories that hurt.
I seldom find myself lost amongst those painful reveries.
No, it's much deeper than that.

It's not logical or tangible.
It's an inexplicable feeling,
Or lack there of.
A void.
Deeper than conscious thought.

It's molecular.
As if the atoms that create my existence mourn your presence.
Perhaps they grew fond of the way our forms were intertwined.
Vibrating in unison to an unheard melody.
They moved together in harmony.
They united for a time only to be torn apart by shallow egos and petty differences.

That's where the perpetual longing originates from.
They grieve your absence with an incessant hum that whispers your name throughout my body. Pleading with me to fix this.

Sigh.
Sounds better than admitting I actually miss the *******.
It's not me, I swear, it's my ******* atoms! Do I look like a physicist to you!? I don't know how to reinvent the atom!!

These words
They haunt me
Or so it seems
Incessant currents
Of poetic streams
Beauty
And love
Pain and sorrow
Troubling pasts
And dreams for tomorrow
Crumpled up
Paper
And piles of regret
Deemed unworthy
They make me upset
Memories burn
I'll never forget
They turn
And they churn
Inside of my head
Restless
Not sleeping
I'm writing instead.