I re-experience her,
here,
yes here.
The joy that was lost long ago.
We share again,
we smile again.
I remember the only thing,
the river,
the warmth.
I confess,
something never said before.
We share again,
we smile again.
It wasn't meant to be,
but still,
I wait,
here,
yes here.

I have to constantly tell myself that I didn’t love him.
I used him
he used me
for comfort, and comfort only.
I’ve only ever loved one human being in that way on this planet. 

And it’s okay
because when I tell myself I didn’t love him
I know we were in the same place.
Our chests were both hurting from someone else
hammering
nails
into
our
hearts.
We needed each other then
but we didn’t love each other ever.
A.p.

There goes my heart
Ripped out by the breeze
And carried off
For miles by the wind

you held my hand,
and, with that, my heart skipped a beat.
don't fall in love with me
i whispered.

you showed me the world,
and, with that, my lungs gasped for more air.
don't fall in love with me
again, i whispered.

you took the stars and gave them to me,
and, with that, my knees felt weak.
don't fall in love with me.

i warned you- a lot of times, yes.
but i forgot to warn myself;
i forgot that i am but naive.

and after all my precautions,
it was i who fell.
i fell in love with you.

414

’Twas like a Maelstrom, with a notch,
That nearer, every Day,
Kept narrowing its boiling Wheel
Until the Agony

Toyed coolly with the final inch
Of your delirious Hem—
And you dropt, lost,
When something broke—
And let you from a Dream—

As if a Goblin with a Gauge—
Kept measuring the Hours—
Until you felt your Second
Weigh, helpless, in his Paws—

And not a Sinew—stirred—could help,
And sense was setting numb—
When God—remembered—and the Fiend
Let go, then, Overcome—

As if your Sentence stood—pronounced—
And you were frozen led
From Dungeon’s luxury of Doubt
To Gibbets, and the Dead—

And when the Film had stitched your eyes
A Creature gasped “Reprieve”!
Which Anguish was the utterest—then—
To perish, or to live?