I'm always *******
Always overwhelmed
I wish upon stars
From way down in hell
All the dreams I once had
Were lost along the way
I can't remember and for that I'm glad
It's all worthless anyway
There's so much **** I have to do
But I'd rather lay around, getting high with you
You're no good, a lazy fool
But I'm worse and that's the truth
The love from our parents that we once knew
We find in strangers and dark blue
My love is an ocean and you're a cruise
A grandiose boat, just for two

I really hit rock-bottom,
It felt like the earth
had swallowed me whole,

I was in total pitch-black darkness,
I felt mentally and emotionally numb,
whilst all alone in that pit--that morbid hole.

I didn't know what was happening,
I was drowning in sheer madness,
I was unable to stand,

I wasn't able to think straight,
I needed to hold a loving, caring, friendly hand.

Then, came a voice from above me,
Or maybe it was all in my head,

It told me to listen carefully,
It told me not to give up,
I had only fallen, I was not dead.

It reminded me that I am precious,
It reminded me that I am strong,

It reminded me that I am worthy,
that I am beautiful, inside and out,  
and that surrendering was very,
very wrong.

This voice fed me
desperately needed courage  
and Self-compassion,
It reached into my soul,

It gave me new direction,
It pulled me out of that dark,
scary, lonely, black hole.

It was full of love and wisdom,
It was empathetic and kind,

It was exactly what i needed,
A message from God,
straight to my heart,
clearing my chaotic mind.

I have gone through a difficult transformation,
I have gone back to being the real me
that I was many years before,

I am seeing and thinking clearer...
I pray that this transition
is successful and permanent  -
may I stay true to myself
forevermore.

By Lady R.F (C) 2017