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So paralyzed by my own self hatred
I can't even feel the bugs crawling across my skin
I want them to eat me alive so I become one with the earth,
Because I don't belong here as a person

I heard the train, and I ran.
Desperate to make it to the tracks before it passed.
Is there a way to pass this as an accident?
I'm desperate to die as the positive, loving person people think I am.
And die to make up for the mistakes I've made and people I've hurt.
Here I am, I hear it near.
I'm gripped by fear that someone will figure out it was self inflicted.
It passes and I break.
So ashamed of who I am, with the knowledge that only I can change it.
And I gave up on myself years ago.
Never really gave it 100%
I regret it now, as I carry myself back to the world.
A cloud over my head.
I will smile as people greet me and compliment me.
But I am a tortured devil that one day, won't be scared of being viewed as a coward, and I will run into the train with a heart finally full of happiness.
Copyright Sarah-JG

Thanks everyone for the likes and reposts. Take care <3
I like my days melancholy.
But beautifully so.
When the sky is grey,
with the few solitary raindrops.
I stand at the sink, in the fading sunlight,
washing my two navy dresses.
A soft old jazz piece plays on the radio,
I turn the fabric over in my hands.
Scrubbing between buttons and seams,
washing the remnants of church services,
a job interview, presentations
down the rusting drain.
I dunk a lace collar into the water
it comes up dark, black, heavy
as though someone has dipped it in tar.
It's delicacy is gone,
but it's spaces seemingly filled.
I stretch it across my palm,
black against alabaster.
The emptiness is here, today,
as it is in all days,
but for a few moments,
it feels filled.
Air
The breeze blows lightly, brushing my face
Up through my hair, like fingers did trace
I thought of my love, with Jesus she stays
Now in the air, she stops and plays.
 Jun 2014 Jake Hodges
mia
lies.
 Jun 2014 Jake Hodges
mia
you said you'd never leave.
you said you'd wait for me.
you said you won't forget.
you said you cared.
i was too stupid and
ignorant to realize
that these
were all
**lies.
don't act like you care for someone and just leave them out of the blue. that hurts.
 Jun 2014 Jake Hodges
Jo Hummel
Empty hallways, crowded streets.
I always wanted to grow old,
but I never wanted to grow up.

Why does leaving mean forgetting? I can already feel them all slipping away.

I don't want this to be over
but I've never seen a better ending.
To the class of 2014
 Jun 2014 Jake Hodges
Aditi
Untitled
 Jun 2014 Jake Hodges
Aditi
time will pass and soon you'll forget.
We'll drift apart & it'll be like we never met
strangers at beginning will become strangers at end
He once told me
To be like falling snow
Forever different.

He forgot to mention
Snowflakes melt.
 Jun 2014 Jake Hodges
Lou Vaughn
You're all bark and no bite
How could something wrong feel so right
Wish we could've had just one night
But it wasn't in the cards

I'm alone here while you need space
Stuck between a rock and a hard place
It's the closest thing to any embrace
That I'll ever feel

Whether mountain or molehill
Tears are falling in my milk spill
I swallow down another hard pill
From my half empty glass

Vicarious atonement
Another happiness postponement
Damaged heart and stolen moments
Back to square one
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