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Jake Hodges Sep 2013
Do you remember the night we met?
How we talked for hours while you walked outside 250 miles away from me?
Do you remember the night after we met?
How I asked you what you were thinking about all the way over there,
And you told me you were thinking about me?
Do you remember when I asked you what it was about me that you were thinking,
And you told me you were thinking you were falling for me?
I wish you could remember how much I smiled, but you were 250 miles away.

Do you remember the night I told you I loved you?
How I pulled my car over in the middle of the night and called you from 250 miles away,
Because I couldn't go another second without telling you?
Do you remember the moment after I told you I loved you?
When you told me you loved me back?
Do you remember when we hung up?
How I said "I love you" and then you said "I love you too"?
I wish you could remember how much I smiled, but you were 250 miles away.

Do you remember the first time we were together?
How I got out of the car and saw you standing outside just smiling at me?
Do you remember how perfect that moment was?
How I couldn't stop staring at you because I had never wanted anything more,
And yet I knew there was still so much more to come?
Do you remember our first picture we took together?
How you said you hated it because you looked weird,
But I assured you how beautiful you were?
I remember how much you smiled, because for once we weren't 250 miles away.

Do you remember our first kiss?
How we sat on the balcony of the hotel looking at the ocean,
And you looked over at me right before our lips touched?
Do you remember that night in your car?
How we touched each other in ways I had never touched anyone else?
Do you remember the feeling we shared when we knew how close we had become?
And how we promised we would never trade that feeling for anything in the world?
I remember how much we smiled, because for once we weren't 250 miles away.

Do you remember how hard it was for me to let you leave?
How I cried hours before it was time, because I didn't want the week to end?
Do you remember sitting on the balcony for hours that day?
When all we did was sit with each other hand in hand,
And you kept kissing me because you knew it would make me feel better?
Do you remember our last kiss that night?
How I held you and tried so hard to not believe you had to get into your car,
And how you got into it and drove away?
I wish you could remember how much I cried, but it felt like you were 250 miles away already.

Do you remember a week ago when you broke my heart?
How you said being 250 miles away was too hard?
Do you remember how I didn't know what to say?
Because for the past 5 months you assured me that this was a forever thing,
And nothing would ever make you want to leave me?
Do you remember how you wanted me back the next day?
How you said you missed me and knew it was a mistake?
I wish you could remember how relieved I was, but you were 250 miles away.

Do you remember today when you've said no more than five words to me?
And how you've said no more than that every day since we got back together?
Do you remember how I asked you what was going on?
And how you said "I don't know", and then stopped talking to me?
Do you remember how you broke up with me a week ago?
And how I can't stop thinking that it's going to happen again?

I wish you could see how broken I am,
How lost I am,
How confused I am,
How angry I am,
How disappointed I am,
How sad I am, and
How much I love you no matter what.

You're 250 miles away,
But right now it feels like you're a million more.
Jake Hodges Oct 2012
Wake up, slow down
Wake up, clear a mind
Dream on, all we need is...
Dream on, all we need is more time

Fall asleep for one more hour
Maybe our dreams will fall in hand

Wake up, slow down
Dream on, all we need is…

Fall asleep for one more hour
Maybe our dreams will fall in hand
All of our fears will fall apart
Jake Hodges Jun 2014
My mind is falling off the earth
But my body won’t move at all
All these voices are telling me to stay in the fire
But my heart is telling me to go

Well I don’t need to impress anybody
I’m not worried about my soul
I’ve spent all my years concerned about other people’s smiles
It’s time that I worry about my own

They say this isn’t the way it works
My pockets have to be filled up with gold
But I’d rather have my body with my mind
Until the day when I get too old

So while they laugh at me and doubt my smile
That they think they’ve always seen, but don’t know
I’ll be standing right outside the fire
Throwing away all my gold
Jake Hodges Oct 2012
Her lips finally shut after only seconds of motion.
The river on her face proves her words were true.
Where are we?
The room suddenly feels smaller.
Every memory we shared raced through my mind and it put an unexpected smile on my face.
Why are my teeth showing?
I am simply happy to be around her, even with the news she has brought to me.
Now I know that it truly is love between us, and I am fully prepared to remain in the same world as her until she is forced to leave.
I cannot stop looking at her beautifully frightened, worried and nervous face.
At least I know I don’t love a robot, but a human being.
While her eyes are lowered in belief that I would be afraid to care for her as I had before this moment, mine are stuck on her, wet with even greater affection than before.
The hand that is not tangled in her own is touching through her bright red hair, feeling what will soon not exist.
Her body is tense but mine is relaxed, because while she does not know how strong she is, I know that cancer cannot possibly defeat everything.
Jake Hodges Oct 2012
nothing can compare to that one moment of your life when you feel like everything is absolutely perfect. everything is as it should be. you feel like living your life like it should be lived. you feel like taking risks you've never thought of taking before. because before this one moment of your life, you were always too afraid of the outcome of that risk. you were afraid that it would be a mistake.

nothing can compare to the moment where you find out something you thought would be a mistake actually isn't a mistake. sometimes, you have to make a mistake to find out if it is a mistake. even if you know it is already. if you don't take that risk, you may never know what could have been. you'll live your entire life wondering if you had taken that one risk, maybe everything would be how you want it to be.

if you don't taste the stale cereal, you'll never know if it really is stale.

tell the person you love that you love them. don't be afraid of rejection. for all you know, they love you just the same and are too afraid that you won't accept them for who they are to tell you how they feel.

turn in that college application. maybe your grades aren't the best in the world. so what? don't be afraid of rejection. maybe you will get accepted to that college anyway, because they see how much you commit.

go to the job interview. put on your best suit. your prettiest dress. don't be afraid of rejection. maybe the guy interviewing you has the same personality as you. maybe they like the same kinds of things you do. maybe you're perfect for this job.

ask god for forgiveness. maybe in your mind, what you did is completely unacceptable and can not be forgiven. don't be afraid of rejection. god loves you for who you are, and accepts the fact that you made a mistake. but he knows it's only a mistake. and if you hadn't made that mistake, you wouldn't have asked god for forgiveness, and your relationship with god would not have been as powerful as it is after you have experienced his forgiveness.

or maybe you're not religious. have you tried to understand any sort of religion, or have you just automatically pushed it away because it seems so ridiculous and makes no sense? don't be afraid of rejection. maybe you'll find something you can hold on to. something to believe in. and if not, at least you tried. you put yourself, body and mind, out into the world to experience something completely foreign to you. at least you know for sure how you feel now.

take the risk.
make that mistake.
taste the cereal.
Jake Hodges Oct 2012
From a far tomorrow,
It emerged from the stars,
And it offered a new time
How could I pass a life?

This is where I fall in its dry tears
But with eyes lowered, how could I tell?
Caught in yesterday, I followed it
Until passeres couldn’t sing

I walked into a storm of falling stars
There, I saw it standing on the ground
It laid the glass down on its side,
And it froze its duct taped angel wings
Jake Hodges Oct 2012
“Look around, you don’t belong
In this place, in my heart
So leave this now, and run away
Escape to home for me

While I’m gone, please don’t forget
My name, what you meant
And while you’re gone, I’ll still love you
Please, escape to home for me”

Torn apart, I disappeared
Into thin, unclear air
Where angels dance, I’ll meet her there
Until then, our home is nowhere

Two years since the day
When I could not hear the words,
And “I can’t come up for air”

Maps remain beneath the dust
Of seven ten, and the memories of
Passed notes between birds and snakes
They say; “escape to home for me”

Before now, my eyes were shut
Snakes could fly, birds could crawl
Where angels dance, I’ll meet her there
Until then, our home is nowhere

“Sometimes home isn’t enough
All I need is this, and somewhere to breathe
My whole life, I’ve ran away
But now I know birds can’t crawl, I miss you”
'"Escape To Home For Me"' is a song from my album Cristo, Volume II: Prayers.
Jake Hodges Jun 2014
Lost.

Play.
Sound surrounds me.
Nothing else exists.
Harmony.

Found.
Jake Hodges Oct 2012
everyone wants to be an architect. everyone wants to be a doctor. everyone wants to be a celebrity. everyone wants to be an author.  everyone wants to be a scientist. everyone wants to be a rock star. everyone wants to be a professional football player. everyone wants to be a photographer. everyone wants to be an artist. everyone wants to be a news reporter. everyone wants to be a lawyer. everyone wants to be the president. everyone wants to be a professor. everyone wants to be a pilot.  everyone wants to be an actor. everyone wants to be a therapist. everyone wants to be a business owner. everyone wants to be an interior designer. everyone wants to be a pastor. everyone wants to be a magician. everyone wants to be a dentist. everyone wants to be a chef. everyone wants to be a film director. everyone wants to be something. everyone wants to be someone.

nobody wants to be something they don’t want to be.  but nobody wants to do anything to be who they want to be. you have a goal. you have a dream. who said dreams can’t be achieved? nobody. one of the greatest and most powerful feelings is accomplishing something you once thought to be impossible. maybe your goal is in fact impossible. maybe there’s no way in hell that you can be who you want to be. maybe it is a dream. maybe it is a fantasy. so what do you do? you do the impossible.

make it rain.

there’s somebody that you love. somebody who’s smile makes your day. somebody who makes your week when you make them laugh. somebody you wish you knew better. somebody who could fix every bad feeling you have in your life just by you being with them. and they don’t recognize what you would do for them. how much you would love and take care of them. how do you make somebody notice something that they can’t see? you do the impossible.

make it rain.

there’s a way to do everything. you just have to find it. the answer won’t just appear over night. you have to fall into your fantasy. walk into your dream, rip it out of your head, and make it the reality. and never give up. nothing is impossible.

everyone wants to be loved. everyone wants to be remembered. everyone wants to graduate. everyone wants to talk to god. everyone wants to climb a mountain. everyone wants to get their driver’s license. everyone wants to get a job. everyone wants to get her attention. everyone wants to be his girl. everyone wants to learn an instrument. everyone wants to make more money. everyone wants to never stop smiling. everyone wants to win the lottery. everyone wants to score the winning point. everyone wants to be a superhero. everyone wants to grow taller. everyone wants to be able to walk again. everyone wants to be able to see. everyone wants to be able to hear. everyone wants to have a home. everyone wants to bring him back to life. everyone wants to have a shirt to wear in the winter. everyone wants a family for christmas. everyone wants a best friend. everyone wants one friend. everyone wants to take the gun from his head. everyone wants to save the world. everyone wants to feed them all. everyone wants to build them a home. everyone wants to get rid of her cancer. everyone wants to bring their soldier home. everyone wants to stop racism. everyone wants to be gay without being judged. everyone wants to feel safe. everyone wants to turn their life around. everyone wants to…

make it rain, mr. architect.
Not exactly a poem, but I thought it'd be nice to share anyway!
Jake Hodges Oct 2012
As the glass turns over,
Her eyes start to fade
Suddenly all I believe
Is put on hold

While the sand is pouring,
His eyes start to fade
Suddenly all I have
Falls into their hands

Their days dance on.

On this winter night, they ran away to Heaven’s gate
Moonlight slowly descends and destroys seven ten
Meanwhile, I try
Meanwhile, I lie
Meanwhile, I die

In this freezing blizzard,
Can I be the same?
All I see is their shadows,
Taken from me

This illusion, shattered
Will it be replaced?
Here they come again
To take my dreams away

Their days dance on.

On this winter night, they ran away to Heaven’s gate
Moonlight slowly descends and destroys seven ten
Meanwhile, I try
Meanwhile, I lie
Meanwhile, I die

So now I watch
As creatures graze
Through rose petals
Made of frozen dreams
"Meanwhile" is a song from my album Cristo, Volume II: Prayers.
Jake Hodges Nov 2012
Music.

What is it about music
That makes it so incredible?

If you ask a musician,
They’ll tell you all about chords.

Chords, harmonies and cadences.

I’m a musician myself,
Yet I don’t care about those things.

Music is music because
It creates something inside of people.

A feeling...
An inspiration...
A thought...
An understanding...
An energy...

Music can create things inside a person
That they’ve never before experienced

So who are you to say what somebody
Should and should not expose to their ears?

Music.
What an incredible thing.
Jake Hodges Oct 2012
The sun sets so nicely, everyone is lost in sleep
I see future friendly faces I will meet tonight
My feet are still tired from past starry incidents
Your eyes reflect nothing but little fantasies of mine

So here we are again caught in between our heads
When will I see the blue revealed tonight from you?

Thousands of words flying in the air like autumn leaves
Not a single one means anything to you, but me
I can’t take this anger when I wake in short hours
But I’ll have the memories of how it feels when loved by you

Message received again, then thrown away till then
When I fall asleep to a fake dreamland with you
Jake Hodges Oct 2013
Stay calm, worried love
You are your own resolution

So beautifully human,
So wonderfully scared,
You shut your eyes to hide
Until hiding became vain

Then you said to me,

“I want to feel the breeze,
That chill against my cheek
I’ll leave this all behind me,
Because I’ve never felt so weak”
  
Keep your shoes off your feet,
Stay here for a while

Stay calm, worried love
Don’t you remember who you are?

So unknowingly strong,
So carefully loved,
You’re not alone in this room,
And you’ve been here before

So keep your shoes off your feet,
Stay here for a while
Jake Hodges Feb 2013
I am seeking an answer in the empty night
But I only find questions in the sunlight

The earth’s beauty at night is clandestine
Yet the creatures are invisibly skittering

How do the creatures know where to flee?
Are they connected to the earth in ways unlike me?

The earth’s beauty should surely be mine
But in the light, it is simply bewildering

I am seeking an answer in the empty night
But I only find questions in the sunlight
Jake Hodges Oct 2012
She spreads her wings and flies
Unspoken thoughts surrounding her
Hanging high above her sporadic world
Opened eyes take the sun, the stars and clouds

She lives here alone
She stands invisible

He swims beneath the sea
False promises surrounding him
Breathing low below his chaotic life
Relaxed minds take the worries and the fright

His heart is poured into
The silent crowd without warning
But the crowd stays silent throughout the night
Confused hearts give back worries and the fright

He lives here alone
He stands invisible

One eye is closed, while one looks down
A simple smile, a wave ‘hello’
Their worlds become one, unseen to everyone
Invisible eyes see a hidden mind

They live here alone
They stand invisible
They share twisted hearts
They love, invisible
"The Invisible" is a song from my album Cristo: Volume One.
Jake Hodges Oct 2012
In a great race
To the top of the world,
We left everyone else behind

Then when we looked back,
There was all to be seen,
But in our minds,
We had seen it all

Find me from miles away,
And tell me that we’ll be okay
Then I’ll search every piece of my earth
Until I find every part of yours
Jake Hodges Jun 2014
Oh, you are much too wonderful to need me
Yet here we peacefully lay together on this rampant sea,
And should the rush of the waves carry me in my sleep,
I’d hear you swim away; swim out to save me
Oh, you are much too wonderful to see the sea as I see
Jake Hodges Oct 2012
this is a story about two people in love.
this is a true story.
this is not a love story.

part one
she had perfect red hair. she had a smile that girls envied and boys fought over.  they all wanted her smile. her eyes seemed to change into whatever color anyone wanted them to be. she had a personality that was unable to be disliked. angels wished their halos could shine as bright as hers, while the sun had to cover its own eyes whenever it looked towards it. god himself could not believe he crafted her with his own hands. perhaps he didn’t. everyone wanted to be around her, and so they were. she was a dancer and a model. baking was her art, and she wanted to share it with the world. her future was more promising than the moment right before a kiss, and she intended to see it through. no mind was more opinionated and intelligent than hers, but she didn’t realize it, and everyone else did. the poems she wrote somehow related to anybody who read them- including those she wrote to be spiteful towards. it was absolutely impossible be unhappy around her.

she was so happy.

she had ***. she was a ****. a filthy *****. her hormones were racing towards the finish line, and she would do whatever it took to get them there. she barely even knew him. they had just met that night, and she was physically attracted to him, so she found herself on top of him that night and they both pretended like they were in love and on the brink of something extraordinary. she probably couldn’t even tell what was going on through all of the teenage hormone-driven thoughts running through her mind and the sweat dripping down her forehead and over her eyes.  what a ******* ***** she was.

she had ***.

she left her home for a winter vacation many weeks after it happened. when she got back, eyes still gazed upon her every single day, screaming what she was. a ****. an idiot. a selfish brat. how could she do this to herself? she used to be perfect, but after that night, nobody wanted to be in the same room as her. she made the biggest mistake of her life, yet she acted as if it had never happened, and her mind thought she was still the same perfect girl she was.

she was not loved by anybody.


part two
the boy found the girl sitting alone outside. she seemed so out of place...so different. she had perfect red hair. her smile made him want to fight somebody for it. he knew right away that he wanted to know who this girl was. just by looking at her, he had a feeling that she was supposed to be in his life- for some reason. he had never felt that way before. he liked it. so he greeted her.

“hello.”
“hi.”
“you don’t look like you’re supposed to be here.”
“i don’t live here.”
“why are you here?”
“i’m on vacation.”
“you look sad.”
“i am.”
“why?”
“the view from outside is always a lie.”

she told him everything from the very beginning…

she wanted to fall in love with somebody. but she couldn’t, because everybody was already in love with her. she wanted to find somebody who needed time to get to know who she really was past the first glance in order to fall in love. but nobody would take the time. everybody was satisfied with what they saw.  

she thought he loved her. compliments and sweet gestures were thrown her way the entire night. but he was a ****. a filthy *****. his hormones were racing towards the finish line, and he would do whatever it took to get them there. the girl cried herself to sleep every night after it happened. eventually she received the worst news of her life. she had human papillomavirus.  her life expectancy would soon be declared.

the boy listened to every word.

the girl was dying. her tears ran down her face faster than the words came out of her mouth. the boy held her. even when he was faced with what he was being told, he knew he loved this girl. but not the kind of love that everybody used to have for her. the kind that needs time to get to know who she really was past the first glance in order to fall into it.  

“when do you go back?”
“next week.”

they spent the next seven days falling in love even with the knowledge that they would soon be separated by distance, and eventually by heaven and earth.

she made the biggest mistake of her life, but when she was with the boy, it seemed as if it had never happened, and his mind knows she’s the same perfect girl she was.

part three
almost a year since they had been able to hold each other’s hand, they still had their love. he had promised to her that he would be with her until the end. until she died. and he meant it. she no longer cared about anything but being with the boy, and every time his voice came out of the phone and into her ear, she smiled. girls envied her smile, and boys fought to have it. they all wanted it. she was in love.

weeks later, the girl knew that the boy did not love her anymore. he didn’t call her as much. he didn’t send letters as much.

he didn’t love her anymore.

she sat outside and cried over her loss, and another boy found her. she had perfect red hair. she was beautiful. so he greeted her.

“you look sad.”
“i am.”
“why?”
“he doesn’t love me anymore.”

the girl was not happy.
the girl was *****.
the girl was loved by the boy.


and the boy still loves her.
but the view from outside is always a lie.
This is very lengthy and much more than a poem, but I enjoy this a lot and I hope many people will take the time to read it. Thank you to those who do!
Jake Hodges Nov 2013
Born into this everlasting revolve with few unenthused slowing halts to greet us,
We float into the unknown, knowing only what welcomes itself
We try to dominate through and make our presence known
Only to be cut short by the revolve and the things which inhabit it
To serve as a reminder of just how small we truly are

But we repeat with the most subtle of changes
bUt we repeat with the most subtle of changes
buT we repeat with the most subtle of changes
but We repeat with the most subtle of changes
but wE repeat with the most subtle of changes
but we Repeat with the most subtle of changes
but we rEpeat with the most subtle of changes
but we rePeat with the most subtle of changes
but we repEat with the most subtle of changes
but we repeAt with the most subtle of changes
but we repeaT with the most subtle of changes, until anything at all makes sense

And so onward we chase up hills and into the sky
Until our whereabouts are known, at least in our own minds
"Whereabouts" is a short write that will soon be used as the basis of composition for an unaccompanied alto saxophone piece.

— The End —