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jaelyn Aug 2016
broken glass
at broken tables
with broken hearts
and broken thoughts

no one understands the broken

broken in the inside not the out
broken is the words you speak in quiet confidentiality
to a friend who will never quite understand

broken is crying at 2am
broken is staring at the razor in agony
knowing it causes more pain than relief
broken is feeling detached and fake

broken is not seeming broken
jaelyn Nov 2016
like a wall i cannot hide
you spring out from my inside
hiding all my fears
concealing all my tears

you are a blank white sheet
something I put up in a heartbeat
you cover up my imperfections
things I see with no affection

a sweet sweet lie I live to tell
and only people who know me well
have seen behind this thick façade
and love me, even though im flawed

dear façade, you know me well
please let me go, let me break my shell
jaelyn Mar 2016
everyone tells you of the terrible twos
but no one warns you of the teens that haunt you
you lie there alone, all warm in your bed
as bouts of depression dance through your head

you walk through the halls, life a hazy grey
as you wish those demons would just go away
anxiety haunts you, you tell your psychiatrist so near
as you wish you could just walk out of the rear

pills and pills in little orange bottles
“this will help you i'm sure! it's the new model!”
you cant help but feel that no one can comprehend
that you, a child, is so near the end

you cant feel anymore, they whisper in your ear
closer and closer the demons grow near
you feel so trapped, as you cannot breathe
you sit down on the floor “not again” you seethe

they’re called panic attacks, your therapist tells you
these happen a lot, and they are hard to live through
your friends they try hard, to get you to smile
you do as you are told, this goes on for a while

you realize when all is gone and all is done
when you wished you were dead, **the demons had won
jaelyn Dec 2016
i love you
i still do
im still fooled

i thought you said those things
genuinely
gently whispered
from lips that tasted so good
turns out
to be all in naught

a sweet misguidance
one i chose to believe

a belief that i thought that you loved me
jaelyn Oct 2016
you are a morning glory
beautiful in every way
understated
underestimated

you close up every night
and open each morning
you are strong, dedicated
and won't be decimated

if it's a rainy day
you close and let the water get you
but you open right back up again
and have me smiling till the end

everyone loves you, dear morning glory
and sadly sometimes you cannot see it
we believe in you, you wonderful one
just keep going, keep trying hon
dedicated to my love
jaelyn Dec 2016
you cover up
a cover made of smiles and laughter
while drifting
slowly
slowly
slowly
drifting away
from what you know
what you loved
not knowing
why

not wanting a why
just wanting to die
jaelyn Aug 2016
trepidation jolts through my fingers
as you grow near
the delicate soft smell of your being

set at unease
picturing all our moments
moments left behind in a dream

sweet lies you told me
the saccharine promises you made
float through my mind everyday

you never saw me in the light that i saw you
the things you said ring out in my head
you can never take back words

i lie here everyday
crying, crying, crying away
i would take the sweet lies over this hurt any day
jaelyn Aug 2016
everyone associates the sound of silence with calm
the sound of silence can be terrifying
the sound of silence is not silent
the sound of silence is unbearable pain as those voices scream out in agony

“youre worthless”
“no one cares about you”
“you should just **** yourself”
“youre the ugliest thing ive ever seen”

the sound of silence
the sound of
the sound
the

the sound of i wish everything would just **shut up.
jaelyn Aug 2016
the rain falls
as i try to forget it all
the bad memories swarm my mind
like little bees she left behind
all the scars
and all the pain
just wont seem to go away
now again the rain will fall
and now again i forget it all

— The End —