It's important to remember
that the impervious,
and often mellow,
hum of love
is so much greater
than the pain
of the inevitable end
you will experience
whenever you choose
to care about others.

If we forget,
all is lost.

Don't you ever tire of being in my dreams?
Don't you ever sleep?
You're there every night, it seems.
Don't you ever tire of running through my head?
Don't you ever ache?
Sometimes I dream you're dead.
Don't you ever tire of sitting in my brain?
Don't you feel guilt?
You're putting me through pain.
Don't you ever tire of being on my mind?
Don't you ever share?
My energy has declined.
Don't you ever tire of cracking on my skull?
Don't you ever go away?
This joke is getting dull.
Don't you ever tire of being my delusion?
Don't you understand?
You're the cause of my confusion.
Don't you ever tire of being in my dreams?
Don't you ever want peace?
You're with me every night, it seems.

Where to start?
A broken heart,
cloudy skies,
blinded eyes,
hollow bones,
anxious tones,
a shaking hand,
a crumbling land,
an empty head,
I should be dead.
Trembling legs,
throat of gags,
roughed lips,
unused hips,
frail arms,
can do no harm.
Nothing left,
a torn cleft,
loss of scent,
my life is spent.
A black abyss,
the forgotten kiss,
shallow breath,
I'm close to death,
frigid tongue,
my life is hung.
Said my goodbyes,
my body dies.
A living hell,
this empty shell,
many tears,
for you, my dear.
Save my please!
From this disease.
**** my sorrow,
on the morrow,
don't let me go,
down below.
Pick me up,
help me sup,
I'm on my knees!
Forgive me?... please...

Somedays my body feels numb
Like the world is on my shoulders
As I sit in my rundown car
Smoking my cigarette
Starving myself from the cold
That's outside my window
I feel a desperate breathe of life
Try to flow into my lungs

And I realize it's not just me
It's my angel with the burning wings
She shelters me from the ice
Just as she does my life
She protects me from myself

I slice through the foggy air
Just as I do to myself
I feel my life running dry
I'm cold; I don't feel alive anymore
Then it comes, that soft warm touch
Trying to revive me one last time

And I realize it's not just me
It's my angel with the burning wings
She shelters me from the ice
Just as she does my life
She protects me from myself

I bleed out into my crimson bath
The last drop of blood leaves my veins
And as my red sea starts to part
I feel an angel touch my heart
My soul leaves my body
And I become one with her

I realize it's not just me
It's my angel with the burning wings
She sheltered me from the ice
And tried to give me life
She'll protect me now from hell

I look down at my body
With new eyes I can see now the life it went through
It deserved to die
It was never really me
I was born to die
This is me
I am the angel with the burning wings

this throbbing in my chest,
it engulfs me.
the delirious assumption of neglect,
that putrid feeling of self pity,
how disgusting.
bone grinds bone in my mouth,
my jaw aches with hatred
until my vision blurs over
with hope of ignorance.
a pathetic waste of life.
i breathe deep but,
it doesnt satiate my thirst,
for that fresh breath of promise.
there is only one end,
to that crippling pain that
crackles through my brain,
like spiderwebs of battered glass.
the sharp horrid sensation
of imploding from the depths of my entrails.
another breath wasted.
a pulsation so strong,
my fingers twitch with the
onrushing river of blood that courses
through me like toxic waste.

oh,
to live again.

the warm salty fluid of loneliness,
rests on my lip before flavoring
my tongue with disdain.
it burns.
what was my purpose?
what do you all want from me?
cheeks flush pink with oncoming denial.
i dont care! i dont care!
my ribcage convulses.
dont think.
...stop it!
a warm rotten gasp escapes
my chafed lips.
i swallow hard.
the need to forget.
i tease my trembling wrist,
with the cold steel of promise.
it's clever charisma creates
a tingling sensation of power
that jolts my nerves.
alarmed hairs stand on edge.
my heart skips a beat with excitement.

oh,
to live again.

i drag the point down my inner arm,
snagging skin as the tip skitters about.
please. forgive me.
i slice down without hesitation.
my eyes swell with shimmers of relief.
blood spills over.
a warm crimson rush of despair
dribbles onto my lap.
my thighs are speckled with the
greatest high of relief.
i laugh at the
bubbling layer of fat that
wiggles from its crater,
like maggots gluttonously feeding
from a rotted carcass left
to shrivel in the heat.
my bottom lip splits with a smile.

oh,
to live again.

a slowing heartbeat.
my shoulders relax.
i inhale sharply.
it singes my lungs with a
wildfire of threat,
but i care not.
awww sweet dopamine.
the sanguine pool clots
around my feet.
i clench my toes in the mess
with childlike hysteria,
sand at the beach,
such polluted thoughts.
feeling faint,
a mind now at complete peace.
my head takes a bow between my knees.
the tips of my hair tickle the last
bit of trouble i've created for you.
the room fogs over.
such a soothing shade of white.
im weightless and floating,
angelic.
i close my weary eyelids.
time no longer to be wasted.
i meant no harm.
the end is inevitable.
useless body of baggage.
woe is me.
exhale.

oh,

to live again.