You never made much sense
Fears of not being enough
Keeping me up late at night
When you're drunk you're the happiest
But then reality hits and
Your life feels like quicksand
I'm your holiday, only coming
Once or twice a year
Don't know when to call
Don't know when you'll return
I'll stay locked up in your terror
You disregard my pain
Leave behind a mess
I pick up the rest
Will you let me know if
I'm holding on too tight
Oh, how I wish your sun
Would burn brightly again

To be honest
If I only had the truth
I'd be lost
In a globe of hate
I'm skipping meals
I'm living like a god
I'm emotional about it all
I'm a stick of dynamite
I'm giving back all my memories
I'm mortal
I'm ****** to death by the world
I'm evading life and what it truly is
I'm going to be the one you think about
I'm there when there is nothing else

Where does time stop
When time is inevitable?
It's true, I spent the summer
On my back, waiting for a sign
Each one has felt like a trial
My life became more opaque
By the second
You don't want my storm
You never did
You fall in love with people
Who don't love you, not like I did
As turbulent as we were,
You never met a man like me
I don't belong to anyone
Don't need one like you
Really think you should
When I was a child
I thought love was fated
Seems like I was a coward
Unaccepting of the fact
Love is the rain, love is the snow
Love has come, love has gone
The thunder
In my heart
Was too much
For your raincloud
To take

In a deep, dark hole
I hear her whispering my name
She says do not fear, my dear
I am forever happy.
Like a wildfire
She was there...
Then was washed away.
Gone.

My heart was too filled
To carry that love along
Even when the knife pinched our minds
Tickled our nerves
And told us
This will work.

My mind played tricks on me
Said this love would be a lasting success!
But this mind is deceiving
Like the weather when it says it will stay cool
But in return, it sends out a strong gust of wind
And hot, scorching flames that engulf your words
And slur your speech that once had the answers
And this flame screams...
I AM YOUR PROBLEM

This wind made you rethink all possible hopes
Told you that the dreams are just enemies
Within the battlefield you call your brain
That try to enter and attack the lies
Hiding from you.

These lies are the same ones that said
She is going to be yours for eternity
The ones that said
Isn’t lust the same thing as love?

Even if I can’t repair our mistakes
And even if you won’t give me your word
The ocean will stay blue and cold
As my heart will.

Because closure is all I think of anymore
It’s all I daydream of
So if our lives grow old and distant
I will once be all that you ever dreamt of
But in the end, I was lost.
Gone.

Who am I
When I cease to function
And my soul rips apart
But I soon realize
As the fan brushes the walls
And my room comes to life
I recognize my weariness
The clamor in my head
If I only knew the way
To pure bliss and satisfaction

I'm scared
Where am I going
Who do I pray for
When the truth echoes
And I'm alone with my thoughts
That tell me
*It's not that serious

You were in my dreams
Felt your tongue slide in my mouth
Wrapped me in your nest of comfort
For some reason, when I awoke
Nothing made sense
Where did you come from?
I haven't seen you in 7 years
So why do I want you so bad?
Maybe I remember the little things
Going to your house back in the day
And you were a strong, comforting boy
I'd sit in your room with you
Wishing to have you ravage me
I would come running, for you
Maybe it is no coincidence
You made up my dreams

I'd drop dead in two seconds
if my life meant less to you
than it meant to me
I've kept the lights on all night
Why did I never notice?

My lungs are protruding
just to hear you tell me I'm pretty
What the **** is that?
Am I that erroneous
to keep my heart exposed
for a man with no morals
and keep my hopes up?

I live with spineless creeps
crawling over my back like bugs
Mother would be so proud
A billionaire covered in sugar
and the words "your lover"
tattooed on my forehead
because my heart got confused
by a boy with commitment issues
I **** until I cannot feel
Play with the sky until I'm tired

Tell me I'm more than a simple human
because some days I feel so empty
that I don't know who I am
I'm sorry my decisions are clouded
and I'm imprisoned by dissatisfaction
God help the next person
who becomes watered down.