Feel it and devour the texture,
wrap yourself tightly within
the sweet sticky taste of goodness
Would be folly for me to not want this
Believe, believe such conviction
as do these sighs I breathe
it is that, that can never prove itself pointless
Look and lay your harsh eyes down
upon the glowing coals of what remains
as this is, built up to contrast my indignant masks
Sell no less that the answer now
As I have it, I haven't as of yet known by touch
Treasure such as this, coarse, terrifying and perfect
So long the pendulum escaped the **** it caused,
age defines the difference from that reflected warmth
recollecting the dawn of my placement
they are waiting, feel it aching within
down and throughout to every cell I shed
home is calling it will not fade, so patient
Where foundations of ever lasting acceptance
disappointment is but a condition of unconditional
I see that light burns yet, even though regardless
my foolish, selfish ways have crashed as waves
against the cliffs of that place I step and fell away from
Pierces the night of my ignorance, carrying me
as the mothers arms to the babe, and love
is exactly the light that never faded,
I will be okay, I am home.  I am home.
I remember , the place that held me
A warmth, the like I want to know
They, the only unconditional
Grounding my reason, they are my own
It is late, so long now I have played
I feel it, it is time and I know they wait
a single lamp burns, showing my ways
I must find this, light piercing darkness
So that when they wake, I will be safe
I think it is past time, I find my way home

Take me as I am

Be it There
then not

Back again, gone
Lost, until not

And I am abstract
Uniquely capable
I turn within
One time too few
Too late
to ask it right

I am not
one of those
outgoing types

subtle and lost
Tunneling in
the man
I am is a lost cause

In the stagnant safety of my lower levels
The dangerous daylight claws and creeps
To remind my drifting mind of life and time
For a single moment a spark of desire flares
Bright and brilliant in its piercing cry
Calling to the husk of He I do so inside reside
Action stand and strive for more fight for life
Shed the shackles the lovingly have held me
Wipe clean established programmed thoughts
Step out into the world from which you hide
That brilliant spark and its thoughts flicker
Fade and my numbness this locked away safe
Unfeeling state create the familiar lack of need
Brush away such desire and as I sit more time more life and days pass by but still the day tries.

In either way, two horizon lines
One is from which I've made my way
My yesterday's and every scene I've seen
To this brief hesitant moment between
I which my place of reflection plays
Ahead are the days unknown to me unplayed
What lay in wait for me there?
The moment ends as time again my master
Another moment to mark such acceptance
Better i face what is to come than pretend at any way to change or revisit those of my yesterday's as this cannot be done.

In this may be found
Breath taking
Sums of plunder and power
Beyond the fabled ether
As God's have come to fall
I am forever, worth these folds
Creases against the very necks
Passion beating flowing within
Calling and craving to be known
Sense and far opposite talent
Do I plan my tale as confession
Before the all knowing masses
Lest they label or offer less interest
I choose no filters or  any other rule
So the bitterest tasting flesh is
Uncooked fresh and ****** digested.
Lost sight, floundered and posted anyway
To record my thoughts as they honestly are.
When far off the man I may be then reads and wonders what on earth had I been thinking.

I would
If only I with emotion
Could write

Such connection
Inside I
Allow for moments

Of memory
Honest retrospective
Causes and effects

To the world
The countless unknown
Others to confess

I am
I have been
Done against
Victim of

Life is lessons
Each their own
To share mine
Is to question

Am I alone
As I feel such
Distance

EVEN IF WE DON'T LAST...
I STILL CONFESS, I DO LOVE YOU.

CLEAR THROUGH EVER AFTER...
EVEN AFTER, THIS HAS LEFT YOU.

I WILL CONFESS, I LOVE YOU STILL.

Counted moments passed us
Though the light of her eyes held
The longing inside mine

I've built these things
As distraction from the
State of my being
Blinded

Allowed for such waste
Collected as if cherished
Now as I am daunted
Set to the task
Disgusted

What made me this way
To choose without knowing
To let slip the standards
To live and not hide my needs
So much filth now
I am shocked by
The thought that
This is me.  

No longer.
I own it to change

Two so lost

Seeking

To feel real

So broken

Holding an other

In love

As such is

Could

Would not what

Learn must one

To forgive

The two

So broken

The day is bended
Blended by monotony
humdrum foot steps
Upon the heel of then
The view is aging
A translation in spectrum
Burnt tasting inhalation my
The world aflame
As always we
All face away

Choose.
by: Jack R. Fehlmann

Herald this golden new
Era in which We
The whole of Us
Side be side sharing
A culmination of such
limitless these Wiser ways of living
Sustainable priorities possible
Be Mindful with methods
and practice love, patience
Usher in A place for all
For all at long last
time is and is yet
present, A gift, treasured existence
disrobe this, our making
manifesting greedful, peril
A day is soon to pass
Dangerously proportionate
As upon such precipice
Not seen for lack of remembering
Forseen and fortold
Today or tomorrow
Forever in the balance
Choose.

My mind is pressed upon
Imagine sinking phantoms
Such pressure crushing
But there where light is memory
The scalpels behind these eyes
As if held by ruthless thought
Are killers that attack in the bright light situations and then
Writing..  then... Is out down...
To rest my eyes and to end this ******* head ache again

Tried at this
Sharing
Wool like sweaters
Warmth
Perspective scoping vantage
To find inconclusively
Life is lived conscious
But mostly
Busy and rushed
Lived either way

Next...

    Next step.


Beneath...

   Them all.

My will...

   I, will.

Next...

   Failing.

One more...

   Nothing.


Succumbed.

To the you

Of  then

Soothe thin

Mortal failings

Pure once

You do yet

I must move

Interned knot

Our wants

Confused

Balled in

Thoughts

I hope he is better than me
How the difficult choices are made
Learning through my mistakes
Shared the worst to disbelieving eyes
Fell a few rungs that day
To him I would not dull down jagged edges
He needs to see he can be better than me.
Mind your choices in friends
Believe you are above the obvious
Words can't take away when you know the truth.
You don't have to and so what if they do
You're better then me Son
Leave doors open and aim high as you can
See what you can do

Tick away the tock, tock, tock
With pendulum stealing away
To come back and
away brass reflection
Any moment any second
Raise this existence
From the endless swishing
Whilst I lose my day in

Real these moments of self
Reasons written by a broken inside
Beautiful, and missing deeply

Have you ever been at a place in your life that makes you unhappy and there's nobody to blame but yourself?  

Ever appreciate the good things in life by understanding one day you will be through this?  It can't last forever.  

Had so much going on that is working towards the better tomorrow, at the cost of knowing yourself today?

Looked back at all those underappreciated moments, or the ones you let go of that didn't want to let go of you and couldn't even beat yourself up for it because you deserve this?  

Loneliness is a state of being that is often self induced.  Once in place it makes us waste ourselves on wishing it would change.

I need to change.  I need help.  Or else I can't say I'll ever be myself again.

My eyes take in the chaos
The amounts are staggering
In every aspect of my life
It's as if I've invited disorder
Everywhere it collects
And I can't find reasons to fight
It's as if I've fallen apart.

The blue-grey clouds  bleed south
Behind the agitated greens swaying
It seems the wind has picked up
The storm is on the horizon now
Inside is my reason for venturing
But I must stay strong and remain out
Away from the un wanting, uncaring
At a safe distance less my will collapse

We, are one in the same
Now aren't we?  
Separate only behind
finger smudged glass
As together we seek
Likes or reread our writes
Eye to eye we try and try
To save the other
Writing to right wrongs
Felt inside most every night
Hello to you my reflection
What will we try this time
Will it be liked?