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Jack Jenkins Aug 2019
It's dreams that keep me going
Dreams that keep me awake
Trying to capture that moment
That feeling stuck in my ribs
Love is not supposed to be caged
Is it?
Unless the love is unwanted
Boundaries
Just to be on the safe side
Alone
Just to feel safe in pride
I always know better
And walk my talk
Spare some change for an old feller
Who didn't win in the end
Fought the good fight
Only to learn fighting isn't good
Tragic // comic
Pushed too far over the edge
Forced ink on ragged paper
To say a million reasons
Not to fall in love
She's one in a million reasons
To fall again
//On her//

Desperate to know if I should find a way to reach out. But what would it cost?
Jack Jenkins Aug 2019
I spoke to you in poetry &
Left real words unsaid
My art was fiction &
Heart was true

What was it worth?

You never read them &
I never sent them to you
I just said I loved you &
Left it at that
//On her//

I so wonder how many times I will write about this girl.
Jack Jenkins Aug 2019
i'm just a small boy staring at a dead tree in the rain
looking up
wondering why love won't grow
//on love and her//
Jack Jenkins Aug 2019
Gah
There is a stick in my throat
Emotions I cannot *****
Slice my chest open
Pull them out
Untangle it all
OCD has its uses
But
I get stuck
So I leave them out
To air dry
To suffocate slowly
Til I feel nothing
Gah
//On anxiety//
Jack Jenkins Aug 2019
I'm in love, I'm in lust, I'm in danger, I'm endangered
I want to take your breath away
And I wanna take my own away too
Wait
Did you catch that saying?
I live for love and don't want to live anymore
That's insane

It's a contradiction between contrasted conflicts that pulls my emotions to apathy when I want to care

I'd give everything to give everything again, but I gave it once and have nothing left but memories of when you left, so turn left while I turn right and imagine a world where I make things right by writing it all out

Then I'll run out of words to say that I love you still even when my heart is still and I've moved to the great beyond
Beyond hopes and dreams and heartache and pain
Darling this isn't a game but we played it all the same, & the smile of yours that used to greet me now grieves me

You can't hear my voice read this but you still hear the desperation; I'm depressed and don't know what to do when I only knew of you; it doesn't matter, since this matter will one day turn to dust and ash
//On her and life//
Jack Jenkins Aug 2019
Maybe I miss the late nights of flesh interwoven
sheets cast aside and candlelit silhouettes
Baby I miss the peace found between kisses
placed on the nape of your neck
Crazy that this blue flame misses your
Red fire and riding rhythm
Vainly I miss watching those hips walk away
But it's a sight I'll never trade
//On lust and love//
Jack Jenkins Aug 2019
Distant
Slow shadows
Growing grey
On the inside
Washed out
Flavorless
Fallen
Feelings I hold
Write it out
On the walls
Missing piece
Anxiety
Nobody gets this
But me
//On sudden depression//
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