I am very unwell
My body wretches
Heart palpitates &
I am very unwell
A sickly soul within
Darkness got a hold
Won't let me go &
I am very unwell
My skin creeps
My bones creak
My voice croaks &
I am very unwell

I could never tell
if it scared
or comforted me
every time I looked at you
and thought to myself,
I could so easily love you
forever.

Now, I know
it was both
fear
and warmth
simultaneously.
Love rarely speaks
the word
or.

boy meets girl
girl meets boy

boy falls in love
girl doesn't know

boy tells girl
girl gets scared

boy is always there
girl just doesn't care

boy gets wounded, starts shutting her out
girl wants to be close, gets hurt by the wall

boy suffers guilt from hurting her
girl suffers guilt from hurting him

boy can't stop loving her
she can't stop being afraid

round and round they go
in circles they orbit

boy wants to let her go but can't
girl just wants to find real love

boy ends it all because love just hurt too much
girl finally opened her eyes and saw love was always there for her

too late

Lately I've been struggling to look Up
My faith is fracturing, not reflecting
I know God is just sharpening me up
To be the warrior that He's called me to be
In order to do that He's inflicting the pain
But I'm trying to handle it in a fleshly way

I'm trying to say I'm sorry for getting so consumed
By all this hurt that I don't know how to let go of
I'd rather hang onto it and then blame You
Take it out of Your hands and lose my way
Lord I don't know what to do anymore
I'm angry at You for all the things I do
I'm so sorry, I never meant to become this way
I hate the fact You died so I couldn't condemn myself

God, please don't ever take away the anger I have
I just pray You show me how to redirect it away from You and myself
I pray you don't take my pain away, but allow me to endure it
Give me the strength to crucify myself and the demons in my head
Please let me trust in You again, because I know there's no other than You.