It's not the death of life that scares me.
It's that limbo between the two, where you just shuffle through the days of your life wasting any and every possibility your life can have.

I'm not suicidal, I just desire the finality of death over the agony of a living coma.

And there is the sound I dread to hear:
    Losing the thing I never found.
Seeing love fade to ashes and pebbles,
    Swallowed by a cave, forlorn.
Oh! To never see another sunrise!
    To be at peace with myself.

All of my whimpering cries be ******,
    Turned to a glassy silence, fogged over...

Yeah maybe this isn't a poem
But it's only if you don't know 'em
Poetry is cracking your heart to bleed
Down onto the pages for somebody to read
So gather around and listen to my confession
The past few months of my hurt and depression

Back in late June, found a lovely girl
Had such beauty within, a heart of pearl
We were such close friends, then became more
Didn't mean for that to happen, we just locked the bedroom door
But she fell for me, the closeness turned to love
I couldn't fall for her, she wasn't who my heart spoke of

Fell out with her mid-July
Same month my life died
Father was paying for services
Girls younger than me, the worst of it
Mama was shattered to the core
Heart set to **** some ******

He tried blowing his head off with a shotgun
She slapped the hell out of him for five hours
They were both led away in handcuffs that night
Domestic violence and resisting arrest
But no evidence that they killed me that night
Three weeks later I left without looking back

But the tragedy of my family led to some light
Got to know a Queen who made things feel right
She's got a home deep in my heart
I pray our lives will never part
We made a few mistakes, yeah it's true
But it was worth it, through it we grew

She made me realize love isn't a guarantee
So I went to the one who had my heart
Five years I've waited, she's the one I swear
Had a deep heart to heart talk, she killed my love
Said she couldn't ever be with me, too afraid to lose me
And just like that night my parents... she killed her best friend

Now it's present day, here and now before Thanksgiving
Reunited with a friend I love more than family
I wake up today to find that lovely girl with a heart of pearl
Took her own life at the end of August, I never noticed
I cry and realize, it's just the cruelty life shows us
It was my fault, I was all she had. Today I died again.

I'm sorry I couldn't get to you
I'm sorry you had to take your own life
I'm sorry I didn't love you more
I'm sorry you felt you couldn't carry on
I'm sorry I didn't notice
I'm sorry you fell for me

When you left,
The rainbows turned to ashen grey.
Stars stopped glittering off the waters.
Flowers closed themselves up in hiding.
Birds lost their love of songs, and fell silent.
My heart grew sand and become a desolate desert.

I couldn't comprehend living without you,
Without your life welded to my heart,
Earth suddenly lost seven billion people,
And I was all alone, forever.

Suddenly I could care less about moonlit nights on the beach;
Not if you weren't walking them with me.
A movie at the theater was a pointless trip;
Not if you weren't watching with me.
Life became dull, blunt, colorless,
Just a routine of numbness and apathy I couldn't endure.