he sits all alone
in a smoky dusty bar
in a twilight zone of his own
he counts the neon stars

he isn't anywhere
and he isn't going anywhere

he sits by himself
as another day passes
like the bottles on the shelf
and the empty glasses

I am not one to treat a beast decent
but I've fed that demon as of recent
this creature eats my peaceful pieces
with hate increased, my whole decreases

I just want to put out a little message for everyone who is struggling right now:
You are not worthless. You're not. Even if people are leaving you and you feel alone, you still have friends and family in your life who would care if you disappeared. You may feel like no one would even blink an eye if you were just gone, but you'd be surprised by how big of an impact it can really make. It's like tossing a pebble into a pond. The ripples spread all the way across the surface.
Don't give up on love. Don't give up on friendship. Don't give up on life. There is always hope if you search for it. There is always someone in your life who holds you close to their heart, even if you don't know it.
Keep living, and don't give up now.

I have a lot of darkness in me
but I have goodness too
and I try to fight off
how much dark trickles through

When I feel the darkness
try to rear its ugly head
I submerge myself in water
to wash away all the dread

I can hear my heartbeat in the water
and it lets me know I am still alive
I try and block myself off
to what is slowly trying to thrive

I close my eyes to the darkened images
and close my mind off as well
I dare not speak of any horror
and retreat into my protective shell

I emerge from the water
when I start to feel repaired
then I shift my focus to other people
my thoughts are needed elsewhere

“I’m free to eat fruit from any tree in the garden;
but I must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil,
for when I eat of it I will surely die.
I mustn’t eat it or even touch it.”

I recited this everyday, multiple times a day.

But curiosity killed me.
There was never any cat.

Committing suicide is harder than you can think. And here i describe the various ways. A bit long but you'll enjoy reading.

1
Fall in front of train or bus
Alright but that won't be easy. First go near a train, than father courage to fall in front. If i had half that courage, i would have fought and live through hardships

2
Fall from top of a building
It would be hard to go to top of a too high building. And if i fall from a bit small building, i would be alive and it would be too painful and then hear the scold for an year and no poket money too because it would be used in operation

3
Hang yourself
The classic way. But too hard. First arrange chair, a rope and then learn to tie the rope and then hang yourself. It would be slow and painful. And there is always a chance someone breaks the door and you survive

4
Eat poison
Hard to get and slow. And i wont eat what the rats eat ever. Other good poison would be too pricey Next one. I don't like choking

5
Stab knife in stomach
Alright i tried but hands were shivering. Couldn't get the knife even the clothes

6
Cut the veins of hand
Eww. It's soo slow. Bleeding to death and messy blood all nearby. So *****

8
Commit crime of killing
Go by the law. And **** some others like you and then you get caught by cops. You'd be on trial and then the law would put you to death. Too slow may take years

9
Pay to hitman to get yourself killed
Find some hitman. Pay him to **** yourself. Hitman are expensive

10
Drown yourself
Those are lucky ones here who don't know how to swim. Painful death. Lungs filled with water. Uhh. Someone may come and save you. Risky

11
Make yourself feast of lion
Lions are hard to find. And thy don't eat humans mostly

12
Suffocation
Inhaling gasses like helium that prevent inhaling of oxygen or usage of plastic bag. Expensive gasses they are. And I'm not gonna die with some cheap plastic bag. Swag

13
Electric shock
Giving electric shock to yourself. It would be hard. Pull wire and then tear their plastic coating and common household don't have enough electricity to ****. I would need more. Hard work *****

14
Firearm
Of everyone i know, no one has a firearm. Out of option

15
Car crash
I don't own a car yet. It's out

16
Drug overdose
Aargh. Drugs are too expensive. Can't someone even die without money?

17
Setting yourself on fire
Sprinkle petrol over yourself and burn yourself with match stick. On no. My soft skin will burn. I won't attempt this one

18
Starvation
Starving oneself to death. I can't stand being hungry. It triggers a reflex to eat in me. I can't die with this one

19
Inhaling carbon monoxide
I don't know how it works but Google suggested it to me. I don't know anything about it so it's out of the way

20
Sleeping pills
The best way to die. No disadvantage. No pain even if slow death. Gulp half the bottle with lots of water. And then just lie down. Eat at night so no on gets suspicious. Peaceful death

**Alright now don't try this at home. I've wrote the poem as a fun write

We made assumptions based on daisies
and tied our hair in bows,
sold ourselves without a price tag,
to those we didn't know.