There have been so many thoughts
running through my mind
that it leaves my heart in knots
and my existence so blind.

"Why do I feel cast aside?"
"Why am I being rejected?"
These thoughts make me want to hide
because it makes me feel so dejected.

The thoughts I have keep coming back,
I then ask myself, "is it me?"
"Is there something that I lack?"
"or is it something bigger that I can't see?"

"Will it always be like this?"
I don't want to reminisce.

A memory that starts to linger.
A memory that slowly goes away.
A memory that disappears at the flick of a finger.
A memory that sadly fades to grey.

What is a memory, you say?
A memory is something to reminisce,
It's something the mind can replay.
Memories that can bring such bliss.

But memories can also be so distant.
They could be so painful.
Long enough to be nonexistent,
Maybe to the point of thinking it was just a fable.

I once had wonderful memories,
The kind of memories that made me smile.
A lot filled with an abundant of treasuries,
So many memories that were very worthwhile.

As time went by,
I didn't enjoy those memories long.
Before I knew it, they made me cry.
Where could have it gone wrong?

My memories soon turned into jeopardy.
I was starting to lose my mind.
Everything was beginning to be a fading memory,
"Why does the world have to be so unkind?"

I’m the kind of person
that when she’s feeling sad
and when she’s crying
she starts to think about the people she’d want to talk to at the moment
but no one comes to mind
because everyone close to her
can’t handle how emotional she is,
can’t handle seeing her cry,
can’t handle seeing her so upset.

So she starts thinking of other people
that she’s been talking to
but she doesn’t feel comfortable enough
or close enough
to open up to them
so she just lies in bed
feeling sorry for herself
and cries herself to sleep.

I’m so deep in my
low self-worth, It’s going to
take a lot for me
to believe those words about
myself.