Sabika

Sabika Oct 2018

What fun this is!
To have people cheering
following
believing
in your vision!
Fueling your ambition!

It's like all the voices that doubted you
are done!
And you and your supporters
are just having fun
as you dance while you fail
and dance while you succeed,
and you just become filled
with a pleasant greed
and motivation
as you feel like you an your dreams
are set in full motion!

...
But how devastating it all becomes
when this all goes in an instant
and everyone gets distant
and bored
because they never really cared
if you scored.

In a time like this you remember
that you are always on your own,
and the only people that might have cared
were just you and your folks
back at home.

#humble #famous #popularity #goals #dreams #fans #supporters #lonely #love

Sabika Oct 2018

Why Do You Love Me?

You approach me with curiosity I don't want to touch,
with a readiness in your voice
like you're ready to hear too much and judge;
and I'm not used to this kind of care
and this type of love.
So I shut you off
and become short
and become tough,
for I've not learned how to respond to love.

#love #lonely #scared #judge

Sabika Oct 2018

Tolerant

I try to be tolerant,
but you repeat conversations from your head
assuming I'll play by your script
despite my lack of interest
in your need to repeat the past.

I try to be tolerant but
you won't give me a chance to breathe,
not with those dagger eyes that have been threatened,
not with that yapping mouth that has been triggered,
not with that closed mind that screams to be opened.

You view your world from your eyes and get caught
thinking your view is the best view when it's not.
You view your world from your eyes and get caught
thinking all your thoughts are true and valid when they are not.

I like you best when you remember on your own
that your limitations are limitless,
and together we live in this world of a mess
and call it our home.

Sometimes our feelings and thoughts are not valid. We are human, we can be irrational, this could make us delusional, that's why we need friends/family to give us a reality check, and tell us what is true from their view. So many people are now saying absurd things like it's a fact and we are all just sitting back, tolerating them instead of having conversations about these issues.

#tolerance #subjective #view #thoughts #feelings

Sabika Oct 2018

I Depend on Context

Give me a backstory
and I'll show you a different character
each time.
Give me a time and place,
and I'll show you my morals were lies
and my standards are non-existent,
and that I've had you fooled
in every single appearance;
and I'll make you realize
that my lies
have been consistent.

Don't get it twisted, this poem isn't about me.

#liar #context #fake

Sabika Oct 2018

My Share

I did not come into this world alone.
I was brought through the choices of my ancestors,
as they embody a time where I was not yet born.

I did not come into this world alone,
no.
Instead I came to a people I did not choose,
whose unspoken duty is to be tolerant and trustworthy
and so is mine
and so is mine.

I came into this world alone.
What's in my mind is mine,
and what I share is for the world,
and how I feel is always concealed
behind the masks of unspoken words.

The question is
how much of me is for me,
and how much of me is for the world?

#family #lonely #confusion #ancestors

Sabika Oct 2018

Social Anxiety

My heart races in the thought of you.
This is not love.
"You're nothing!" I repeat in my mind.
But you're not a machine that I can control.
When I look at you, I stand face to face with life itself.
A breathing replica of all its past in one.
Unpredictable.
Your thoughts hidden from view.
To talk to you is a leap of faith,
a risk that weighs heavy on my mind.
It's so much easier to look at you from afar.

#socialanxiety #anxiety

Sabika Oct 2018

I Don't Know You, and I Don't Want to Know You

Foul,
rotten,
something about you gives the stench of burned flesh,
the stain of corroding steel,
the buzzing sound of a thousand insects.
When you talk I feel like centipedes crawl up my spine,
roaches swirl between my toes,
and worms pour out of ears.
My eyes itch, and I twitch
underneath my skin
for your soul
is the foulest din.

We've all met someone like this

#gutfeeling #judge