I need to write it down
to solidify the facts
him and I have never been
and will never be
each others future

we were each others present
for a while
and oh how your smile
could light up my day
we were good at the now
but never knew what tomorrow
might bring

As his presence fades
our present ceases to exist
but I have to let that go
because we have no tomorrow
all we had was each other
no goals, no plans
eventually the present must become the past
and I must move on

I want to pour my heart out
but he isn't the right person
this isn't the right time
I want to tell you everything
but you know too much already
and you have your own problems

I don't want this to be a one way street
but I have so many thoughts
so much to say
and no one to listen
no one who cares

so I pour my tiny pieces of myself
into everyone I know
just enough so that they
feel like they know me
but not enough that they feel overwhelmed

I feel like a child
dancing around the facts
in the "i like you"
"do you like me?" phase
I don't want to seem immature
but also I can't take things too fast
making it seem like
i'm more into you than you are to me
can we get past this phase already?

I just want to spend time with you
and love you openly and deeply
That is what I am good at
flirting and first dates are what **** me

... I’m okay.

I think I truly found what love was with him
all my friends still believe he was just a way for me to pass the time
just someone to be there to entertain me
but he was real love
healthy love
not infatuation or obsession
but truly caring about someone
being willing to help them
in any way they need
but knowing the limitations
of a young relationship
I don't regret any moment I spent with him
any time or love I gave him
because he deserved it all
and now that its over
I know that I can find love again
because it would be impossible for me
to forget what it felt like
to have his love
to have his eyes on me
I know that feeling will come around again
for both of us
and it's okay if we aren't there for each other till the end
because we were there for each other
when we were what each of us needed most

Sadness needs no invitation
no open house
or big party
sadness shows up on your doorstep
whenever it chooses
4am on a snowy night
or 3pm on a sunny day
It has no reason or rhyme sometimes
It just seeks you out
and decides to crash on your couch
an unwelcome guest, sadness is
often overstaying any welcome given

You can move homes
You can run away
but sadness is quite the detective
even in the best hiding spots
it will eventually seek you out
and invite itself back into your life