I Do
and I know you don´t
and its killing me
because this means I am supposed to start
start to get over you.
But I don´t want to
I don´t want to let go
I don´t wont to forget you
and I don´t want to stop loving you.
Because loving you
gave me purpose
it gave all the love I could never give to myself a place to go.
And now
I can´t stop thinking about you
because I feel like you are absorbing me
like my love for you is absorbing me .
As if the thousand butterflys in my stomach
made me forget the weight on my feet.
And for once I believed I could fly.
Because every second with you feels like flying.
Because your smile gives me hope
and your eyes give me faith
but the way you looked at me
after the first time we kissed...
it made me believe
believe we could be
believe we were
believe we would last.
But when you look at me now
all I see is emptiness
no love
no nothing
you just don´t care....
Do you ?
But I still love as much as I did after our first date
when you hold my hand while we were riding our bikes next to each other
and how you gave me you hoodie because I felt cold
and how when I came home the smell of your perfume was surrounding me.
And I wanna love you so bad
but I feel like I have to stop
Because the more I love you the more I lose myself
and I am betraying myself by telling me maybe
he does love you too
and i will lose myself.
But at the same time loving you feels like all I can do
and all I am supposed to do.
Because i love you so much
I believed maybe just maybe I can love myself
I will always love you
and I hope one day you can love me too.
This is for the boy who decided I wasn´t worth it.