Is it possible to procrastinate sleep
or is it just cause I want someone to talk to me so much that I don't sleep?
Literally, I'm just laying around here
Doing everything but sleeping
At such a late hour
And trying not to think of you.
Gosh... Is it so hard not to reply to what you have clearly read?
I just want a conversation with you
But that's clearly not happening anytime soon so
Buh-bye.

Upon searching "not a poem"
Almost nine thousand non poems popped
Each one a slightly separate suggestion
On the mental conception of non poetry
A common theme that seems to seep into the souls of some
What makes words poetry is the purity that protrudes from paper
The song of sweet cries and lullabies
Escalating rage and hallucinations of bliss
So if,
A set of words no matter how weak, seeks a path past a draft in a memory shaft
It is a poem
Upon searching "not a poet"
There's a familiar theme of wannabe e.e. cummings
That can't see they are poets indeed
There's no prerequisite set of concepts to adhere to
What makes you a poet is your gift of expressing life through letters
Not just trendsetters and regretters
So if,
You can sit and explore a language and handpick the words that create magic
You are a poet.

Cruel thoughts invading the silence
Louder and louder, ringing  in my ears

Anxiety a gripping vice, constricting labored breaths

Further and further, sinking in the abyss

Retreat into the nothingness, and hope it's quiet there

Hide in the darkest corners of my mind,  realitiy is far too much to bear

Drowning, suffocating, asphyxiating
It's really all the same

I wish I could forgive myself and accept me as I am

But I'm bent on my own destruction
Living a masochistic dream

Just another tortured realist
Trying to stay sane