i'm tired.
emotionally,
physically,
and mentally.

i've felt so much,
and used up so much energy
and thought too long and too hard
about everything.

i'm tired.
i just can't find motivation some
mornings, some afternoons,
some nights (at all/ever).

you used to write my name in stars
every time it left your mouth
you used to pull my soul apart
made me feel like i’d drowned
then you resurrected me
you perfected loving me
like it was an art
and so i had to write you down.

i’d written line after line
about the look in your eyes
the way i felt like i could die
but what’s the point now
in all those wasted words,
when all that’s left still hurts?

the moon is just simply a rock
without the sun to make it glow
and as the hands are ticking on the clock
you are all i know of home
i thought you needed me
please don’t leave it be
you are my every thought
the singing of my soul

i’d sung song after song
about the how your hair was so long
the way i’d felt all along
but what’s the point now
in all those wasted tunes,
when all that’s left of our love’s a tombstone?

i’d written line after line
about the look in your eyes
the way i felt like i could die
but what’s the point now
in all those wasted words?
when all that’s left hurts.

my love stands on rooftops with a megaphone. it screams at the top of it's lungs to an endless melody. it's everything i am and everything i want to be.

my love tells him to stand still for a minute, it tells me not to think for a minute. it says that we can be so much if we just do and stop waiting. my love is the feeling in his throat when he tells himself that he is finally too far away to think of me. i know, i know.

my love does not care for his past. it holds his previous days in its hands but its the big spoon to the little spoon that is his future.

my love is a light in the distance that he can somehow touch with the palm of his hand. it's warm and soft and careful and it'll reflect into his eyes the next time he looks into mine.

my love doesn't wean or wane, it remains a full moon, so next time he looks up at the sky, remember: there's always a reason i am alive, and when i met him the reflection in the waters, the pull of tides, they showed me why.

my hands and heart are calloused
from writing out our story
from living out our story
god knows
i breathe so much love for you
and it lives within me
and right now it's messier
than before

it's angry
it's painful
it's jaggedly soft and a whispered
prayer
are you there?
my love, are you there?

you may give up on me
but my knees are scuffed
because i've been praying
on concrete.
that never used to happen before

i've this carpet burn
from sleeping on the floor,
because the bed
is a mocking reminder
of the softness of your skin
of you love
of you

i'm a sinner, and you know it
but i felt so holy
when your lips touched mine
the way they did

i miss you
like an ocean misses the shore
i will always be trying
to reach you

my heart's still in your hands
it's in your hands
i always melted in your hands...

I’m reminded late at night
Of exactly what it was like
To be holding you tight
Shouldn’t have ever let go

This isn’t what we wanted
And I just feel so  haunted
My friends could say I’ve lost it
But what would they know?

They don’t know what it’s like
To dream of a lover’s eyes
You can no longer look into
And I have nothing to hold
I have nowhere to go
When I can’t run to you
I’ve  dreamt of you
So, what should I do
With this?

I see you now and then
You’re hanging with our friends
It’s like I’m hitting a dead end
Everywhere I go

I hate acting like I’m fine
When I’m wishing you were mine
And that I wasn’t wasting time
Being all alone

Wish I didn’t  know what it’s like
To dream of a lover’s eyes
I can no longer look into
And I need something to hold
I have nowhere to go
When I can’t run to you
I’ve dreamt of you
What should I do
With this?

I wish/ I could kiss/ your lips/ give this/ a moment/ to fix/ itself
I would never ask for anything else

Do you know what it’s like
To dream of a lover’s eyes
You can no longer look into?
(are those eyes mine?)
And I have nothing to hold
I have nowhere to go
When I can not run to you
(are you still mine?)
I’ve dreamt of you
What should I do
Don’t know what to do
With this
What should we do
With this