Lost in a body that remembers
She can feel every touch
Unable to move an inch
For if she moved she'd loose to much
Content to stay frozen
With his memory on her lips
But restless to get moving
And travel many trips
She is frozen by the fear
Of moving on and letting go
Yet set in motion by the need
To do what freezes her so

I can't take it anymore
This feeling within
I need to brake out
From beneath my skin
Out comes my old frineds
Let the therapists begin

They draw out the pain
That was hiding underneath
My sorros poor away
As they flash their sharp teeth
And when I am cured
They go back in their sheaths

I can't take it anymore
This feeling within
I need to brake out
From beneath my skin
Out comes my old frineds
Let the therapists begin

They draw out the pain
That was hiding underneath
My sorros poor away
As they flash their sharp teeth
And when I am cured
They go back in their sheaths

Pretty girl and pretty girl
One is hollow, one is full
Hollow of the love she thought was hers
Full of the envy that took what wasn't
Pretty girl and pretty girl
One was true, one was false
True in the way she loved him whole
False in the way she took control
Pretty girl and pretty girl
One is humble, one is vain
Humble of the looks she has been blessed
Vain in her struggle to gain what she lacked
Pretty girl and pretty girl,
One is, and one is not,
One is beautiful with every flaw
One is not, as it seems, so pretty at all...

No, don't make me go
Many terrors are waiting
To goble me whole

Falling down this whole
With only you're hand to hold
I watch us unfold

Split my soul in two
Half for me
and half for you

Sharp things on my bed'
Look so much better colored red
Maybe they should

A soul made of blasfemy
   Tattered by the world around it
Lumbering down the wrong path
   Of which it had no choice to go
Haunted by the ones that once loved it dearest
   Degraded further by the ones that never did
Broken and withered to the point of death
   Oh, this was the face of woe

I was standing in the mall
My Becky in tow
We were looking for dresses
That you already know
For I was texting you
And we had found the perfect ones
I had sent you 'A' picture
(You were lucky it wasn't tones)
But she needed matching shoes
So we hurried to the next shop
And that was when I got the call
But my heart didn't drop
It was from you !
I said HEY! ! In my usual happy tone
But it wasn't you
On the other end of the phone
He sounded like you
So it wasn't till his name rang in my ears
That I began to feel the pain
Then I felt the tears
I calapsed in a seat
As he began to rant on
Telling me how horible I was
And how I was 'wrong'
Saying to stay away
That this wasn't your choice
That you were to young
To have your own voice
I couldn't even fight
I just said okay
I hung up the phone
And I walked away
I was surrounded by people
I didn't know
Excluding one
Who saw the whole show
She hurried me out to the car
Where I could curl up and die
Because after that call
I could no longer cry

There once was a man on border patrol
With a heart not unlike a massive black hole
He wore his uniform with brilliant pride
As he sent immigrants back to the right side
A hero of the nation
Into the night he would ride
Some nights he would find twas not a soul to be found
As he searched the dry, sand covered ground
But on others he’d find, much to his delight
Many to which he was not so polite
Harsh and cruel was he
Always, he was a true knight
One day as the patrolman was on the job
Some animals came to start a large mob
They were angry with the hero, they did not agree
“America” they shouted “should be FREE”
He smiled and with sound mind replied
“Not if it was up to me”
They raged at this, which made him chuckle
Until one of them struck and jaw met brass knuckle
Seeing this act of violence, more law men jumped in
The law was the law, and the law would win
just as it should be
just as it hasn’t been
But the patrolman was put away
And the immigrants got to stay
Because not all stories have happy endings
At the end of the day

And there was a politician
His skin as orange as the California sun
A smile that made children want to run
Such a man whom all loved to hate
With a belly that made you wonder what he ate
He wished to “Make America great again”
All the while supporting Saddam Hussein
He was the true ‘Murican, he could not sin
Unlike those immigrants with their coloured skin
He was a violent soul to manys’ dislike
With a voice that sounded like a motorbike
However he would still bellow
Of how he was just a common fellow  
With a loan of a million dollars from his father
To start his business, though no one would bother
Failure after failure with no success
He now tries to add a nation to his mess

My life was just ripped away
And you think you understand
You've murdered me, internationally
And you think you're still my friend
I feel like I've lost a part of me
And you expect me to be nice
To lay down, to not fight
Say things to hurt me
Then get mad when I throw fire back
Thought I would break down
As you put my heart under attack
Side ways compliments
To put salt in my cuts
You say that you loved me
But that was never enough

They win
There was nothing I could do
They did it
They ripped me away from you
They proved it
We were never ment to be
They knew
You wouldn't always love me
They smiled
As you slowly drifted away
They chuckled
For I could do nothing to make you stay
They cheered
When they realized what they'd done
They fired
As I turned to run
They beat me
Until the snow was red
They burnd me
Until I was shurly dead
They held
My body as it lay broken
The forced
My eyes upon one last token
You grinned
As my body began to die
I cried
"They" were just your lie

They don't understand
As I reach out my hand
You are the only one I want to grab it
But they think I'm a bad habit
They worry for you
And what I might do
So they tear us apart
Not thinking of your heart
They say this is best
As they take the heart from your chest
They blame it on me
As I drown in this sea
They hate me for existing
And I'm trying to keep resisting
But the erge to run grose strong
How can our love be wrong
And I won't say "hey we tried"
Because I need you by my side
Best friends from the begining
We can't let them keep winning
So don't let go of my hand
Just because they don't understand

I can't make people like me
It's sad, but true
But please do not hate me
For the things I can't do
I can't lie
I can't hide
I can't control
What's within
I can't love
I can't trust
I can't wait
Even for him
I can't be something I'm not
And that's sad but it's true
But please do not hate me
These are things I can't do

I hate this
I
Hate
This
All the words I try to put down
Are so full of ****
You'd think I had crap stuck in my teeth
I'm tired
Really ******* tired
I'm tired of being told I'm crazy
By the craziest ***** I know
Tired of being told I'M trouble
By a man who would lock up his son
Tired of being treated like the problem
Just because it's the easest choice
And I'm really ******* tired
Of trying to rhyme my poems
Rhyming is beautiful
Rhyming has rythm
And right now I don't have the patience for either
My words do not have beauty
They are full of anger and PAIN
And they do not have rythm
They are wild and uncontrollable
It's unbarable
I am a writer
I am a ******* poet
I guess I just lost my muse

Dark is the absence of light
It absorbs light
That is this feeling
Draining all that is good
It absorbs my common sense
So that all is left is irrational fear
Panic
The more you resist
The bigger it gets
" stay calm"
Is a useless defense
Breathing
Just leads to hyperventilation
Not breathing?
Not really an option
All that's left
Is sit down
And shut the **** up
wait for it to pass
Plus, patience
Witch, you know
Ha

Waiting for your messages
Knowing you probably already read mine
Fear creeping up my spine
Reloading the page a million times
And once more

Just to be sure

You took a part of me
I didn't want to loose
Followed a path
I thought you'd never choose
Tomorrow
I know somehow
That it'll all be okay
The pain won't matter
Because that was yeaterday

I sit silent
As my pain sits quiet
In the back of my head
The back of my heart
I must make room
In honor of you
Every inch of me
You filled to the brim
Every one of those inches
I'll slowly give to him
Not because I hate you
I am not mad
I will always love you
With every inch
But I'm learning now
That those inches must be shared
For the sake of my sanity
For the sake of yours
I must be prepared
To fall in love again

Be strange
Be loud
Go out in the croud
Don't hide
go play
And at the end of the day
Be happy
Be you
Just always stay true

You said time
Not space
But aren't they the same?
At least in this case. . .

Thinking about it
It almost means anything
Just change the title

What do you expect me to do?
Sit here waiting patently on cue
mind racing, stomach sinking, heart breaking
waiting just for you

20 minutes at a time
with a million thoughts on my mind
but 20 minutes goes by slow
in the dark waiting alone

For someone who probably
has someone else
waiting for them
just like myself

Except they don't wait
they get your time
because unlike them
To make me wait is fine

I am the other now
the one who waits
who patiently sits
who does what ever it takes

just for a second
of your atention
I must sit and wither
through a lofty detention

This a fear
I knew would come true
but never in my dreams
enacted  by you. . . .

Tell me all the lies you have spun
I will always listen
Even if I'm the only one
I will always be here
Hiding from the monsters
That have surrounded us
Trust that
Trust me
Because you're right
This was always how it was going to be
We knew this was a war
We knew new we would loose
But we put up a valiant fight
The perfect underdogs, me and you
Soon we'll both be free
You. . .
Not as soon as me. . .
But what is a year or so
In the prospect of eternity?

Are you lying?
Because she says you are
She says
That everybody knew
That I just like
Getting lied to
He says
Stay the **** away
What a great way
To end our last day
You say. . .
You say nothing
You leave me here
Not knowing what is real
You were real
But now I don't know
Where did you go. . . .
How long has this night mare
Been weaving it's way to my heart?
Just like all the rest
This one just as ****
Real or not real?
Why does it matter now?
One foot away
From six feet in the ground

Body crumbling
My heart bleeding in my hand
I fall before you

What if they hate me
For a good reason
What if it's something
That I can't change

What do I do then

one day a giant stepped on a flower
it wasn't big flower
for it was still growing
a sprout not to long ago
but it had just began to bud
ready to say hello to the sun
and ***** you to the world
because it had beaten the odd's
many had tried to grow here
and all had failed
lang long before they even grew pods
but this flower was different
a beautiful color
peaked out of it's bulb
and it's fragrance
already lighted everybody's  day
but this flower did not know
in witch garden it did grow
for giants don't like flowers
no matter how pretty and sweet

I'm not worried about if I'll cut tonight
I'm not worried about the panic attacks I WILL have
I'm not worried about not being able to eat
Or throwing up anyway
Or crying when nobodies around
I'm not worried about me
I've been through this pain so many times
It's like a stupid broken record
That I'm about to just throw away

I'm worried about you. . . .
What are you doing?
Are you talking to her. . .
Forgiving her. . .
Learning to hate me. . . Finally. . .
Are you hurting, in your room
Are YOU able to eat?
Are you putting the knife down clean?
Are you waking up in sweats
Are you crying and broken?

Are you okay. . .

I guess I know you're not. . .
But I want to know how not okay you are. . .
I want to know that you are at least functioning
I want to know that your dad isn't hurting you
Physically or mentally
I want to know that you aren't alone
That no matter how much I hate him
He is there being your friend
Making you smile
Making you laugh. . . .
Because laughing always makes you feel better
And I know you hate being alone. . .
I don't want you to be alone

So I'm worried
And every time I think about you
Feeling the way I feel right now
I panic and I can't breath
I'm so worried that you are all I dream about
I'm so worried that when tomorrow comes
You will have your head down in the hall. . . .
Hearing nobody at all. . .
Alone. . .
I'm worried because I can't do anything
He said. . . To look walk the other way
And she will be watching. . .
Making sure I do nothing to help
Running to tell if I even smile at you
Wave. . .
I don't want to be the cause of more pain

Yes I'm worried. . .

I'm worried that I might of destroyed the most beautiful person I know

Trying to force these words
Down onto this paper
Trying to explain how I feel
It's like a special kind of torture
That I must push through
To remind myself I'm real

Hold up
Wait
What did you just say?
After so long of convincing me to stay?
You think I'm gunna run away

you're funny

What did they say to you
That's made you so scared


That I'm no longer worth fighting for

Enthralled by your majesty
I fell to my knees
And that was exactly
Where you wanted me

For through wars with no end
I would of treversed for my king
Even with no voice
For you I could sing

Of our battles and scars
I still had no woes
Even when peiced
By their swords and bows

For I was the Lanelot
To you, my king Arthur
But too, a maiden in love
Though clad in armor

Yet now I am nothing
Blown away with the breeze
A memory once strong
Forgotten with ease

I know now with sadness  
My pedestal was false
Just a seat for your toy,
A doll with no pulse

Yes it is clear now
My significance a lie
Crafted by an enslaved man
A "king" on high