i’d been telling myself that i don’t care for you anymore
and i’d been believing it with every atom of my being.
i thought i’d done a good job of forcing you into the back of my mind,
training even the crimson in my core to turn cold at the sound of your name.
the site of your face, though
you had the most beautiful smile
you still do
only it used to make my heart swell with joy and love and everything sweet in this world that could make me wonder what i did to deserve your name lighting up my phone screen every night whereas now it only makes it feel heavy.
heavy because of the realisation that i do, in fact, miss u.
a lot