adopt a demon tonight
and if you're a writer
she'll help you become a
great one even
It is worth exposing yourself
to her
You won't call her a demon,
of course. That term is offensive
You'll refer to her as The Muse,
your muse
and she will visit you when the
time is right
and the time will be right
when you start doing your thing
You'll see.

if I knew I was
going to die
tomorrow
would I spend today
writing more
or
saying goodbye to my loved ones?

hardest choice of my life

maybe I'll write my goodbye
in the form of another poem
to make the best of both worlds

I thought I belonged in your arms
I see now that I was mistaken
You took all I had and never put back
At least not as much as was taken

I stood there empty and broken
You, had nothing to say
I shook as I cried when we said goodbye
Not you, you just walked away

Slowly I picked up the pieces
My heart, just wasn't the same
I played and I lost, payed too high a cost
I, the loser in loves foolish game

I can scream
I can cry
I can curse the sky
And still, nothing will change

I still cry though
I can't help it
I still ask why
And still, nothing changes

The pain is still the same
It doesn't lessen
It's ever-present
And still, I go on

I still cry though....I can't help it

You built me up
Just to shoot me down
Breaking me past shattered
Shattering me beyond broke

Like Humpty Dumpty
Doomed to never recover.
Except the walls were my own
And you gave me the push

You made me feel
Like I was the Queen
But I was nothing more
Than a pawn
In your sick games.

How naive I must've been
To believe in the illusion of love
Your poisonous words
Like honey on my skin

Now I cut off the poison
And distanced myself from you
The feeling of losing a limb
Along with my mind

My heart aching,
My body shaking,
My lips yearning for you
Yet there's nothing left
For anything
Or anyone
So I scream
And scream
And scream
And scream

Till there's nothing left
But the lost tears of my childhood,
Your tainted things crashed against the wall,
A Shadow,
My demons,
And **I

Standing in a sea of people
As a lone island
Floating around
In the endless nothingness
Drifting away and drowning
Falling apart
And piecing yourself back together
Over and over
And over again
Every single second of the day
Wishing for it to all stop
Helplessly knowing
Nobody will ever hear
Your silent cries
...
Noone could ever save you
Because how could they
Ever save you
From yourself
...
It's hearing yourself talk
And move
And smile
Maybe even laugh
But knowing
It's all an act
With noone to yell "cut"
At the end of the scene..
Because your whole life
Has become a giant play,
Where there could be
A thousand people
And a thousand lights,
There could be a thousand claps
And a thousand great nights
Still all the while
You'd be a thousand times lonely
Drowning in the lights
Drowning in the laughter
Drowning in yourself
All because
You've become too good
At acting
Like you could swim
...
Depression is killing yourself
Slowly
Every day
Every minute
Every single second,
From the inside out
Because you don't know
Who you are anymore
Except for an empty body
Defining disappointment
And a burden
And a void of fake
All wrapped in one.
...
Depression is Loneliness
Depression is Acting
Depression is Drowning
But most of all,
Depression is Me.

Suffering from depression is like:

biting your nails
when they're already too short

picking at your wounds,
and not allowing them to heal

living in your past,
because you're afraid of the future

feeling lonely,
yet being afraid
to burden other people
with your presence

wanting to get things done,
but being too unsure of yourself
to even try

you want to be happy,
but being sad is what you're most familiar with

you're afraid to live,
and afraid to die,
but you never know which option is worse