she came and went
just out of reach
like a dream escaping your mind
as the night escapes the sky
a whiff of perfume from a passing stranger
that takes you back to some memory
you can’t quite remember
unexplainable
I’m tumbling all over myself
fumbling with the words I know
and the language I do not
silly boy
I have some questions for you
and I would have said anything she wanted
so long as I could leave my message
in fingertip cursive in the steam on her mirror
I wish to catch you beneath back porch moons
a lightning bug in my jar
in hues of red passion
and purple contemplation
my hands running through her hair
fingertips gently tracing the arch of her spine
hobos walking alone through the railway dust
she is the claw game toy which fell at the last minute
I’ve been up late at night
scouring every darkened corridor and upturned rock
pebbles to be skipped across the pond
always looking for another taste of that perfume
maybe tonight
as I am resting in deep sanctifying sleep
maybe we will cross paths
and fall atop each other in a heap of love and sweat
and maybe in the morning
I won’t forget her

a man stands in an empty lobby of his apartment building
the night had hit its stride and was walking tall
in front of the closed doors of the elevator his finger falters
lingering just as the red display reads: 4F
he is confronted with a decision
up or down?
above him lies his apartment, his home
his girlfriend of many years
conversation about his day and the promise of a meal
then television and watered down beer
endless talking about the rent and what the new girl did at work
talks about relationships and the ever-looming future
what comes next?
the man pulls out his phone absently checking the time
below him are the basement apartments
and the apartment of the girl he met last week
when the trash chute was clogged so he had to go all the way downstairs
the girl who lives alone with barely any furniture and no heat
the girl whose brown hair always bears the sign of a good morning
tangled and askew
the girl whose thrift store clothing clings to the contorts of her body
so effortlessly
the girl who had once said
feel free to come over sometime. We’d have a lot of fun
I can keep a secret if you can
he pulls out his phone and checks the time again
he is late
his finger presses firmly against the up arrow
the elevator chugging to life
he fixes his shirt as the doors open with their familiar bell
the man enters the elevator and presses the button for his floor
and goes home

Your hands were like summer

But your heart was pure winter

the children are all running wild among the crab grass
eating the wrong colored berries that their parents warned them of
just to find out for themselves
they play cops ‘n robbers
cowboys and indians
a gun is a stick is a gun
and I’m sorry to say
but that kid over there just shot you dead
you have to fall over now and play tragedy
a mess of sticks, plywood, and leaves is a home
they all ate way too much candy
and are throwing up rainbows all over the new carpet
crying over spilt ice cream melting on the pier
cringing not from the ****** skinned knees
but the expected sting of the alcohol
the only thing they fear is sitting still alone
now watch them as they try to ride the neighbors dog
and climb trees so that they might have the view of Gods
gambling their future for fun
not fluent in the language of consequence
and they don’t get too worried about what they don’t have
because they haven’t developed object permanence yet
not yet are they jaded from life
they run around in the hot sun with red ears and noses
until the sun goes down and their mothers call them home for supper
and we envy them only because they know so much less than us
and ignorance is bliss

the rain comes to wash away the sins of yesterday
so that new life might bloom
droplets of water clinging to bare limbs
become paintings of flowers by the morning
and you could use a little rain right about now
head as heavy as your sleepless eyes
stomach as tight as your constantly clenched fists
at night you get lost within the trappings of your mind
a dark maze of funhouse mirror illusions
and you pray for relief
prayers which do not come with answers
so you you search for something to hold on to
just for a little longer
but these solutions are lead weights disguised as floatation devices
and those water wings melt beneath the unforgiving sun
you so tired
you so willing to let go
so willing to be saved by whatever arms may find you
the couch is laughing at you
the TV is egging you on
and that girl who just walked by -
I think her name is nothingness -
looks so **** good
that you are way past the point of seduction
another day goes by only to become weeks
to become months to become years
to become a life of “if only”

do not be fooled by those
who only profess wisdom in times of darkness
these wolves dressed to be lambs
these monsters under your bed
they are not your friends
a match is useless without a strike
and a blazing fire is irrelevant in the absence of cold and darkness
take these times and wear them on your sleeve
let them be the reason you shine so bright
so that you might light up another’s darkness

Thunder clap alarm clocks
keeping you up at night
your fingers and feet
keeping rhythm with the patter of rain
against your dusty window
the nights are of an unimaginable blackness
and the days are as grey as the endless stretch of city blocks
gravity is trying to hold your feet to the fire
and you cannot feel a thing
the answer isn’t in the lock and key
the answer is what you are willing to do
to open Pandora’s box
love is not something you can find on a page or screen
love is the moon following the sun
until the time comes again where they can meet
a beautiful eclipse
life isn’t a roadmap route with point A and point B
life is the story of how that map came to be
so torn, wrinkled, and stained
and the weeds fighting their way through gaps in thee concrete
lust isn’t a sin, only a way to cling to childhood selfishness
peace isn’t achieved through self-torment
peace is befriending the voice inside of your head
so that the thunderstorms might fade
to reveal a picturesque summer day
and you have to be willing to sit through the show
to see what’s behind the curtains
and I truly hope you have the patience