Black
Opal
Coal
Charcoal
Midnight
My soul consumed
The horror of my past has caught up with me
I'm consumed by the ember flame
Every part dying
Withering away
Nothing left
Its a cold ground
Where I sit
Everything aches
No one knows
No one can know,
Not what I have become,
A monster inside
My world is nothing
Everything has faded away
Shades of black
Who knew that's all that would be left of me.
Strangely I laugh at this
Nothing can stop me now
For I have become a monster

I understand.
A long line of yesterdays
Lead you here.
So you compare,

And call upon
Rainy summers and fierce
Winters to stain
Today with the pain

Of last love lost.
Last fallen friend.
Pulling the fabric of hope apart
To fit your heart.

Place it among the new born
Lights of stars long since
Dead, instead. Learn
To shine, not burn.

The rays of sunrise
Are eight minutes old.
Arise. Be bright.
Give the morning its light.
All that awaits to glitter
Is gold.

I think that’s the painful part,
remembering our start.
The innocence,
the uncontained bliss,
it’s such a contrast to now
and I’m still stuck wondering how.
How that chapter of my life is closed,
how is it that we’ve become opposed?
I think I believed we were indestructible,
that our relationship wasn’t corruptible.
It hurts most when I think about it, about us
and all the things we said in unshakeable trust.
Those words float now,
detached, but unforgettable somehow.
I keep asking, why?
For when we were together we aimed for the sky.
Here in the now, it’s much different.
I no longer have the ability to call you up in an instant.
We’ve grown apart,
strayed so much from our start.
We’ve grown up, but part of me is still fighting for what we had
and I know I need to stop because I laugh, but the disconnect makes me sad.
I can’t say I want to forget you, forget us
because you were somebody who had my trust
but things have changed
and we’ve become estranged.
I wish it were different, I don’t think you understand how much
but somehow I’ve benefited, for now I’m my own crutch.
So the goodbye is bittersweet.
I know a part of me, in some aspect, will always be incomplete
for a bond there was severed,
but I do wish you luck with your future endeavors.
I harbor no ill will,
and we’ll meet again on some rainy day, accepting a passing fill.
But we’ll know the truth,
we’ll share a smile that holds a million memories from our youth
and that’s what I’ll come to appreciate,
I’ll carry those wonderful memories even if we don’t affiliate.
We grow up, we change
the future isn’t something we can arrange.
We can only realize our choices,
and follow through on this voyage.
It’s messy, and beautiful, and can hurt like hell
but on the bad things we can’t dwell.
So the memories I’ll keep,
locked away, just for the rainy day when I see you on the street.