I'm feeling hungry, so I breathe in deep.
I dont want to eat
I want my body to be pure.
I'm feeling hungry, how much can I endure.

Hungry in my stomach in my heart and in my head.
Hungry and I am also feeling close to dead

But alive is what I want and what i wish for is pure

I am hungry but i know, that is just a lure.

I want my body clean my body strong my body whole.

I am hungry .....  but it is a hunger from the soul.

He wishes to speak but knows not what to say
He needs,
He wants to reach out but is trapped with in his own
He wants
He expresses desire but knows not how to retain
He needs
He wants to be healthy but keeps feeling insane

Oh how deeply he needs and how no one can give.

Wavering at the top of the stairs...
She breaks.
Falls down the many steps once climbed
Shatters.
Looks into your eyes and she

COWERS.

Social was never clean and voices are always mean
Others, they feel nothing like she feels.
They know not the extent of what they have damaged
Child lost in the weeds of adult hood.
Woman left ravaged.

I've been choking on the heart I tried to eat.
Its hard to breathe, at least it tastes sweet.
I found my throb buried in your chest.  
I ripped it out and started to build a nest.
A messy wound, i keep it clean.
I'll hold you up, or you can lean.
You stumble cower, you've been spent.
My loves desire sparks like flint.
You've cut me off and tied me tight.
I wont let you bleed out in the night.
Your heart I swallowed.
Ripped it out whole.
It sits in my chest perfectly fits in the bowl.
You ate mine, and now we are even.
Don't count on me ever leaving,

I was never very dumb But I was never very smart.
I never really got a chance even though I got a start
No one ever really loved me, as much as themselves.

But I guess I have been selfish too.

I guess I am just like all of you.

Confused.

We don't know our selves, and under layers and layers of false emotion
Under layers of ego and rough tides of ocean,
Under the anger, and under the greed. Hidden behind the veil.

There is great suffering, which we must prevail.

The strength I pray I have.

Singularly, literally illusion
perspective is the falsness of  i am one.
perspective of me, as if every one else is none.
Like one is me and i matter most
when this individual body is only a host
For the collective thought that I seem to convey
when i reach in to my heart to find the  way
I continue to try and travel
find my way deep in side my mind
I wager internal battles
But there are so many blocks to find
so many different blocks send out sound
vibration. they build fences in my  feilds
put caps on my cups.
They Block my heart out
and they stop my flow up

I have slipped of tongue in mouth
and spoke of things that have caused doubt
And spoke of anger in trying ways
I've held to sentences for to many days
Peace had never found rest in my mind, or in my spine
I have held to strongly to every thing I've ever known
Because we all want memories when were old,
I know I know, the time it shows.
My past is but a story I tell day after day
Reliving old patterns and feelings in a stagnant way
I've claimed these moments my kingdom
And depression is my throne
And when you peel my skin back
The memories will be present in my bones.

Fingers stretch to catch something out of touch
And reach for those things clearly never seen.
Looking for something but never getting much
And still left to wonder what it really could mean.
Wavering, in and out of knowing and unknowing
Simply bidding to short a chain to lead
Chaos is evident in all of this throwing
But there is that ever present need....
And  that liquid relaxation That ever present need,
Weaving in and out of you and them and me
I struggle for foundation and I struggle in temptation
And I haven't even found myself in this wide consuming creation.
Not, just yet, and I plan a head to day but not for my tomorrow.
FOr that ever present need.