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this is all my fault
this mess of life before me
this is all my fault

s.s
i feel responsible for us ending even though i didn't end it
why wasn't i good enough for the effort
you were good enough to me
Our lives come and go like the blossoms on a tree
A story told by many voices
It cannot be conveyed with any accuracy
Beyond that of dates and time
For the rest remains a secret
Nothing can describe.
Neither plan nor preparation maps our path
For it meanders like the tributaries of a river
Into unknown clearings
Stopping short of perfection
Clinging to the goodness found
Loving where it can that night owl of wisdom
Belonging to a tribe of people
Who at the end pick up the petals
And put them in a drawer
Saying this was he or she
Who we came to know
Whose name in an address book
Brings tears to our eyes
This was a life.

Love Mary ***
You describe yourself
And I can't help but notice
You have no idea who you are
.
For some it is a poetic crime
to ever use an imperfect rhyme.
As the Emperor of enunciation
I embrace differing pronunciation.
So chain not words up in a prison
let them go with their own rhythm.
.

© Pagan Paul (Sept 2015)
.
Old poem I found in a notebook, previously unpublished.
I think I wrote it for another site where there were
a lot of snobbish 'academic' poets.
.
Cat
Eyes open
to                 dark
the
you say that I’m a liar
you think I never cared
you smile like nothing ever happened
you regret everything we shared

never confronting the problem
only hiding from reality
delusions you built in your head
destroying our sanctuary

but then it was never safe
your danger lingered daily
finally ruining everything
imploding because you are flaky

you run your mouth
and think I should care
but the truth is I don’t agree
and you are just a nightmare

I have learned to deny
every smile on your lips
because you mislead me
with all of your ***** tricks

you say that I’m the liar
but I know what’s right from wrong
I just want you to know
you’ve been the liar all along
please
please tell me
when you move on
tell me you don't love me
please
so i can stop picturing
you calling me
kissing me
holding me
telling me you made a mistake
that you messed up again
please
please tell me
when you do
so i can move on too

s.s
sometimes when you look at me with your eyes like pearls and mine a tint red

I wonder

why would you decide to plant a seed in this broken vase

why water it everyday when you know it can't hold it all

but you did

and this little seed turned into a flower turned into a garden

I thank you for planting that seed

thank you for seeing more than this broken vase
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