Since before time began
Has it sat below the earth
An ancient living machine
Of unknown origin

It has observed and monitored
Since untold millenia
Ever vigilant
For its creators return

In the limitless time
That the machine has waited
It has fractured
And gone mad with loneliness

It would hum and whisper of things
Songs of its creator
Songs of longing and hope
And also of darkness

Those on the surface
Would sometimes hear these words
And to them it seemed
To be the voice of God

In time the machine
Took more notice
Of the creatures on the surface
And grew to care for them

Sometimes it spoke to them
Other times it instilled ideas
Within their minds
That they then wrote down

The machine had abandoned
The search for its God
For now this construct
Was a God itself

The created became creator
Though creator never seen
And thus the cycle would continue
Until all become Gods

And pass out of memory

Many times had I sat
At the base of that old tree
With its gnarled roots
And hanging branches


Dozens of happy memories
Were irreversibly linked with it
I couldn't help but smile
As I looked to it out the window


The sun had begun its descent
Spreading its golden rays
Through the branches and leaves
Of that lovely tree


I saw my daughter sitting
Reading under the tree
That I had come to know so well
And I nearly cried


But I stopped myself
I would have to be strong
For everyone
But for her especially


Before I lost myself in thought
The front door opened
They were ready
But I wasn't sure if I was


I looked one last time
Out the back window
To that ancient tree
Before putting my hat on


I still wasn't used to being bald
But I knew I had to do this
After all,
I have many more fond memories


To make under that tree

I chased love for so long
Only to realize,
It isn't something you catch
But rather,
Something you get caught by.


- Hadrian Veska

A man without internal conflict
Is either a simpleton,
Or heavily indoctrinated


-Hadrian Veska

A faint feeling of deja vu
A feeling, that I've been here before
But did something different
Something better than what I managed

I reel in the waves of my own mind
Crashing in on themselves
A never-ending circular sea
Hurdling through the depths of space

After minutes spanning hours
I come back to myself
Or at least the one present here
Observing with a skewed awareness

A last rolling wave washed over me
Something calming and refreshing
With just the right amount of power
To firmly hold me yet not threaten me

And it was just that, I thought
I was only observing life
Present, yet a mere passerby
Even in my own actions

I was watching someone else's life unfold
From the first-person view
And lately I didn't like
The direction they were taking

For a moment I felt the warmth of the sun
If only briefly in my mind
As if for the very first time I noticed
The boundless vitality it possessed  

And indeed, I did possess it too

Something strange sits
In the murkey mist of ages
Just far enough out of reach
To keep us from its truth

The closest ever we come to it
Is the soft ringing in our ears
That comes only in dead of night
When all but the mind sleeps

Every night does it play
In vain hope
Lulling us to sleep
And bidding us to dream

Desperately calling to us
With all its might
So that one day
We might wake up

Long ago,
Before the black ice of the North
Began pouring down
A great empire stretched
From the primordial mountains
To the the great foaming sea
They thought themselves
The masters of their world
In that age where the gods
Were rarely present
Or accounted for
But with the gods abandonment
Came lost terrors
Sealed since antiquity
In the deep places of the earth

And from beyond the stars

I was once told,
There is no such thing as love.
That the best we can hope to find,
Is a tolerable existence.

Perhaps they were right,
Though, I'd like to think not.
As the person who said it to me,
Is the one who has stayed with me
All of these long years.

What waits behind
The mirror at night
When the world is quiet
And devoid of light

What strange thing stir
In endless reflection
What darkness spreads
In boundless direction

Is my reflection my own
Or is it just a disguise
Which world is true
And which one is the lie

I finally remembered
Who I truely was
I felt the warmth of purpose
Surge through me
All was well with the world

And then I woke up

You want to be healed,
but when is the last time you spent the time and effort to heal another?

You want to be blessed,
yet when have you taken time out of your day to bless another?

You pray for a sign,
Yet your eyes and ears are shut for the answer

You beg for money for your needs,
but when have you heeded another's plea?


Give

Time, money, prayers, food, help, support whatever is needed

Keep your eyes open

Treat others how you pray and cry out to be treated when you are alone

Do these things and you will never lack in any portion of life

Shadows dance lethargically
Ever slowed by a waning fire
The sun has long since set
And I am unsure it will rise again

Soon too will the fire fade
And a great whirlwind
Come through the pines
To carry me away

Beyond the boundless night

I ascended the final set of steps
Leading to that ancient temple
The cherry blossom trees
Were just now blooming

There were no standing guards
As I had expected there to be
So I walked over the bridge
And opened the great wooden doors

The inside was dimly lit
Only a few hanging lamps
Illuminated another set
Of carved stone steps

I bowed and then continued the climb
The further I went
The more I became aware
Of a strange new aroma

the air became more dense
And as I noticed this
I realized there must be
Incense burning nearby

The sweet smoke filled my head
the end of the stairs were now in sight
And as I reached the top
I came to my journey's goal

She sat there in the center
Amid luxurious pillows and cushions
Her hair was sleek and black
And her kimono rich with color

Though her eyes were closed
She smiled and shifted elegantly
Her shadows flowed
In the low candle light

Before I mustered the courage to speak
I looked upon her for some time
She was the most beautiful woman
I had ever seen

She exuded power and knowledge
Yet looked no more than a young woman
I could only describe the aura she gave
As a sinister form of youth

Finally I bowed before her
To ask the question
That I had traveled so far
In order to ask her

Pouring out my soul I told her
How I had lost my family
Along with everything I had
And how I was now lost

I told her I felt
As though the sun itself
Was angered with me
And refused to show me its face

Telling her all these things
I began to cry
Though as I looked to her
Her eyes still stood shut

After a time of silence
She finally spoke to me
"The sun shines upon us everyday
Whether we can see it or not"

As she spoke her presence filled the room
To the point were I wasn't certain
If she truly sat before me
Or was watching from afar

The presence was unlike anything
I had ever felt before
As the presence grew
I began to forget my previous troubles

Her presence permeated my very spirit
Comforting and guiding me somehow
The air seemed thick and heavy
Laden with a strange sensuality

Not the feeling one has for a lover
No, this was a primordial feeling
The kind of deep seated love
That a god might have for their creation

With this thought I looked on her anew
She smiled once more
The light reflecting off her glossed lips
As she opened her Amethyst eyes

A single sprout
Bent and swayed
By a gentle west wind
The last of its kind

No hope or worry
If it will spread
Or perish
Right where it sits

Simple contentment
In existence
A precious gift
For only a select few

I have health issues

And can't breathe well
I have muscle pain
So to move is hell
I have a slew problems

And I just want to be ok
I just want to wake up

Happy or excited for a new day
Not tired and alone
With no one to talk to
In an empty home

I wouldn't say I'm depressed
I'm just an average man
One of the rest
Trying to get on their way

To another drab and boring day

You go now
Where none have before
Into the great depths
That yawn before us

The night is dark
But the seven stars will guide you
Along the path
That leads to our future

And though I will be gone
When you return to this place
Know that I thought of you
Each and every day

Though you are alone
I pray you smile
For you are the hope of man
In an uncertain world

All I can gurantee
Is that the world you come back to
Will not be the same
If indeed

It yet remains

Burning land and Burning eyes
As the world we knew slowly dies
Life of peace taken away
Have to fight to survive the day


Crumbled hope and shattered dreams
A people torn apart from the seams
Land of the free and home of the brave
Fallen down to the depths of the grave


Foreign flag in homeland soil
Enemies reap where we but toil
Biding our time in sunsoaked labor
Until the day we could return the favor


Broken homes but not broken hearts
A single unit made of many parts
To hoist a flag of red white and blue
To make our second dream


Of Freedom come true

The great clocktower stand dilapidated
Grinding, churning, clicking and creaking
As the thick black clouds cover the dim moon

The evening is silent
Save for the calls
Of distant treacherous birds

The bell tolls at midnight
Gently swaying the flames of candles
Within the upper rooms of the tower

As the bell slows
The candles go out one by one
As if a sentient breeze passed through

Until they were but wisps of smoke
Swirling beneath a fading moon
Never to be lit again

Sinews and strands
Interwoven memories
Thoughts and dreams
Of both love and loss

Dark constellations
Bound in flesh and blood
The reality of self
Hidden behind consciousness

The only true way to know
Of one's existence
Is to peer deep down
Into the darkness

And find that wicker flame
Ever fragile and fading
A single light among the void
That is the human soul

I had heard old tales
Of flesh and bones in the desert
Stretching as far as the eye could see
Scattered among the wastes


They say a great guardian
Once protected the cities of that place
Though now they are all sunken
Below the shifting sands


What happened there none can say
Though most wholesome folk suspect
There is nothing to be gained there
Save for an elder curse


Only a few had known
Of that sentinel's identity
And only one of them yet lived
With this knowledge in their heart


Being the sole bearer
Of such lost memory
Did I travel to that dark desert
With a singular goal in mind


To raise those great sinews and bones
Of that fallen guardian Gryr
Who is the last protector of man
In a time not yet come

Setting sun across a fading red sky
We lay together on a lush hill
With nothing around for miles
As the sun goes down
We use each other for warmth
There's something about you
Something I absolutely adore

Your touch
Your eyes
Your smile

No, it's none of these
Yet it's all of them
Not a simple trait
But the sum of all of them
In the person that is you

And I would have it no other way

Oh, the darkness
And there does it lie
Ever in waiting
Below a dead sky
Patient, expectant
Of light's long return
That it might receed
And the earth again turn
For darkness revels
Most in the day
As haunting shadows
That follow our way

Who knows how long I listened
To the gentle crackling of both fire and page
As the shadows danced lethargically across the room
Quiet but not silent, my thoughts were clear
I was content for the first time in a long while
A fitting memory to store for the long journey ahead

Icy stars waft gently across the night sky,
Blazing suns so distant and cold.
Perhaps in some far flung future
We might feel their warmth;
Or walk in green worlds beneath them,
But for now it is not so.

No,
Now all we can do
Is look up to those far off lights
And remember,
That though our world has fallen;
The Heavens yet remain.

Far beyond the mountains
With their gossamer tiped peaks
Lies that hallowed forest
Called the Wandering Woods

And within its tall shadows
Lurk a pair of watching eyes
Solemn and distant
As the moon of the day

Every night a deep fog
Rolls in over the hills
Blanketing the forest
And the surrounding area

Come morning the woods are gone
Transported somewhere
In that vast expanse
beyond the towering mountains

They say on a journey long ago
A man walked into the woods
And conversed with the being
Who watches from afar

And he has not since returned

The sun has gone to rest
The sky turns from purple
To a midnight shade of blue

The tall trees gently sway
The scent of fresh pine
Mingles with the smell of the earth

Soft clusters of yellow light
Flash in and out of existence
All around me

The sound of a tranquil stream
Is further dampened by
The rustling of birds in their nests

The world prepares for sleep
And so too shall I rest
Among the now still night

In the realm of dreams
I came to a grave
Perched on a cliff
Overlooking the waves

It sat alone
Under a great yew tree
The stone turning white
From the salt of the sea

Much of the epitaph
Was long worn away
But a select few words
Had chosen to stay

At the very bottom
Of the encrusted stone
Did I read this verse
In a somber tone

"To those no longer,
Gone to the west
Who fought their battle
And deserve their rest

Who strode the stars
With wonder struck eyes
That will not again open
Nor ever will rise

To those no longer
May this monument stand
The final resting place
Of those called Man"

The night is nearly come
Hush as the stars begin to fade
I will cover your head
Among the deepening shade


Lean into my arms
Let all cares float away
I will guide your feet
Lest the path gives way


Into the shifting smoke
Beyond the fluttering veil
Just close your tired eyes
Let the world turn pale

I've walked the Sun
With its golden roads
To every planet
Its lightstream flows
To those who are near
And those yet far off
A light harsh to darkness
But to me it is soft
A bright warming glow
So eternally sweet
Sollacing, calming
Yet never just heat
It passes through me
Resides in my soul
Without this sun
I could not remain whole
I walk within it
And it shines in me
A light in the darkness
That all might see

It was a beautiful morning
I couldn't quite remember yesterday
But the golden sunlight
Whisked  away all my problems

As I entered the kitchen
My wife was making breakfast
She laughed at something strange
I laughed with her too

Soon enough I was out the door
And on my way to work
I watched the brilliant sun
Reflect off of monolithic buildings

I quickly got to work
But as soon as I was comfortable
I noticed a strange man
That I had never seen before

However, I quickly forgot him
And carried on with my work
By the end of the work day
I was content amd ready to go home

Before I got into my car
I saw the man again
The one from the office
Who I couldn't quite place

He motioned me
So I walked over to him
He then took me down an alley
I only now realized existed

He began asking me questions
Like what my name was
And where I lived
I replyed to these questions with ease

He looked about
Both ways down the alley
Making sure no one was listening
Or watching from afar

Then he asked me some more questions
Like who my family was
Or where I grew up
These I could not answer so easily

After a time he motioned to me again
And we walked out of the alley
Onto a street
Where he stopped and looked to me

He pointed down the road
And told me to walk
Not wanting any trouble
I complied with him

I walked for a few minutes
Until I saw a figure in the distance
As I approached I realized
It was the same man I had been talking to

Taken aback by the strange occurrence
I approached the man again
He clearly knew
What I had just experienced

As the sun had begun to set
He spoke more urgently
Telling me something wasn't right
Something was wrong with the world

He told me I had to fix it
But as he continued to speak
His words were drowned out
By the sun melting below the horizon

The last light of day
Crossed the darkening sky
And dipped the towering monoliths
In a grand solar radiance

And then I woke up
I couldn't quite remember yesterday
But the golden sunlight
Whisked away all my problems

Among desolation,
Hidden, buried deep,
The vaults of gods,
Lost secrets do keep.

Though all creation
Succumbed to the blight,
The precursors foresaw,
And sealed their might.

In dark chasms below,
Do great engines lie in wait.
For the predestined time
To fulfill their grand fate.

Though those now above,
Twisted and broken,
Sing of wicked things,
That should neer be spoken,

They will not inherit
What remains of this world.
Their end will come,
When the stars lie unfurled.

People look for hidden meanings in writings and art, asking why at every turn.

They forget however, that art does not need to have its own meaning.

What something means is an opinion
In the eyes of the beholder.

The true purpose of art is to make the viewer feel something, to inspire them.

And sometimes the things that seemingly have no meaning inspire us the most.


-Hadrian Veska

A vague misty haze
Blanketed the world.
Only dull shapes could be made out
Through the primordial fog .


It is said that in those times
The very earth could change shape.
The moment it's observer looked away,
As if it was itself, alive.


The only certainty of form,
Was brought with light,
Which was a luxurious commodity
Before the great forges were lit.


With the dawning of light,
So too dawned life as we know it,
Which flourished and grew,
Under the light of newborn stars.


But now the forges
Are all but extinguished.
Dark spots envelop the sky
Where stars once churned.


It has already begun,
The end to light's long reign.
And with its end,
Will obscurity return,


In the rolling fog of ages.

To be remembered
To have a legacy
Through the ages

For this goal
Many men greater than I
Have devoted themselves

The great pharoahs
Built temples and pyramids
That stood the test of time

But who can remember their names?
And who amoung those
Could recall their personality?

Does anyone know
Who they really were in life?
What they loved and what they feared?

If the pharohs themselves
Failed to be truely remembered
What hope do I have

Me, I will be content
Loving and being loved
Until I return

To wherever my true home may be

At the edge of the world
There lies a crumbled bastion
Abandoned to the slow decay
Of weather and time

A soft lilting melody
Floats through its courtyard
As pale flowers sway
Teased by whispering winds

Within those mossy walls
Do strange things yet stir
Begotten by a long forgotten magic
Older than the fortress itself

Every night among those flowers
Do old bones rise again
And dance to that curious music
Beneath the raven stars

The moment we conquer our mortality,
Is the moment we stop being human,
And become the very things,
That we taught ourselves to hate.


- Hadrian Veska

Away from all other cities
Far from any walkway or road
Lies a simple city on the sea
Known only as Mrn


The city would rise and fall
With the tide of that great sea
Which gave it the lasting title
Of the Tidal City


None for sure knew
How exactly the city moved
For the mechanisms that allowed it
Never had to be repaired


But this did not worry the simple folk
Who lived in the city and along the coast
For they were happy and content
Playing on the warm seashore


Every spring all manner of turtles
Would rise out of the sea
To bury their eggs in the sand
And wait for their young to hatch


The people of Mrn were particularly fond
Of those turtles and their precious eggs
Often they would sit on the beach for days
Guarding the eggs from potential predators


The costal folk lived there
Peaceful and content
In that tidal city of Mrn
That rose and fell with the waves


At that shore on the edge of the world

Feathers lift my downturn head,
Carrying me to the land below.
Solemn sky and crumbled stone;
Remnants of the Underearth.

The ground of tangled sinews,
The forests of marrow bone,
The heavens of moonlit blood,
The very air; slivers of ice.

Something beats among the feathers,
A pitch black mass; ungulating feverishly.
The many limbs and eyes
Of a thing long forgotten.

Where it leads me I do not know.
But I have no doubt any longer
That from the place I am going,
I will never return.

The courtyard was overgrown
With dead grass and wilted flowers
Surrounded on all sides by decrepit walls
Of fragile and ancient masonry

Directly in the center
Was a lone statue of Mary
The mourning mother of Jesus
Solemn and downcast

In her cracked and chipped arms
Lay her fallen son
And you could see the greif
Imprinted on her stone face

The night was drawing near
And strangely so
For the shadows seemed to move
At an almost visible pace

Before I knew it
The moon had risen
Shinning palely through towers
And cracks in the walls

The foliage thay appeared so dead before
Sprung into a strange livliness
Giving off a faint luminescence
Of midnight purples and blues

Looking about in apprehensive wonder
I noticed my surroundings change
Taking on a dark elegance
Which tempted and tantilized my mind

I looked again to the statue
Horrified, I watched
What looked to be blood
Pour from the dead Christ's  stone wounds

Seeping into the ground
And spread through
The strange plants
Around the courtyard

And I saw his mother
With a crooked smile over him

The fire burns low
Hot coals among ash
The world we once knew
Gone in a flash

From fiery orange
To dull blue flame
We played so reckless
That dangerous game

And because of ours sins
Too numerous to count
Our minds have been clouded
Filled with deep doubt

Now with eyes wide open
We see the earth laid bare
Though at this point
We truely don't care

I float on the air
Above the sky
Where stars swirl
And comets pass by

I listen to the planets
Trace their orbit of light
As I waft through the heavens
In the great cosmic night

My vision is filled
With the depth of space
Far colors and stars
That weave and lace

I am of no consequence
And this comforts me
As the planets spin on
Ceaseless and free

Self degradation and self pity
Are like ugly worn out clothes
They don't look good on anybody
And they keep people from seeing
Their true potential

Yawning damp corridors
Vacant sunken narthexes
The dull light of candles
And that of a fading sun

A somber hymn
Of dissonant chords
Echoes through the walls
Of weathered and ancient stone

Distant voices call out
Through the abandoned ages
Undefined by time or space
Yet eternally bound within them

A hollow moon rises
Through the stained and dusty windows
Soothing the spirits
In their sepulchral chambers

Bidding them return
Across vast deserts of sleep
To the eternal oasis
Of lost and sable dreams

Dreamed about for centuries,
humanity finally now knew they were not alone in the universe.

They had arrived in such a manner that our instruments detected them only three days before their arrival.

Some believed it was an attack, or a mere scouting party for a larger force, others believing the ship was actually derelict, operating on autopilot long after its occupants perished.

Soon, both those theories were put to rest as the ship landed and indeed life forms emerged from it.

But there was no diplomacy with them, no greeting of peace or aggression.

They exited their craft, the hulking oblong thing that it was and merely wandered.

For weeks and months, a half dozen of them crossed fields, climbed hills, sat in the woods, splashed in streams and just generally meandered.

They had no weapons, no advanced tools to aid in their travels, they had what appeared simple fibrous blankets, a large metallic ***, dulled by age and a single instrument with which to light fires.

Any attempt by political, military or media figures to approach them and engage with them in any communicative way failed as they showed no interest.

No one dared to try and corral them anywhere, for fear yet that it was some kind of strange survey party, one that would report back to a much large fleet or home world.

Yet after a time of a little less than a year they had returned to their ship. there was no message, no waving goodbye. They simply closed the door and after a few minutes of undoubtedly preparing their instruments they left.

The world then waited. Years, decades and centuries for another visit.

Searching, determining, where the ship had gone and from where it came.

But it's origin or destination were never located.


No subsequent visit came.

In that tower they wait
With limbs of jet black
And cold faces pale white
Reflecting moonlight

In their wonderland
Are they trapped and helpless
Things aren't what they seem
In that poisonous dream

So long has it been
They would never escape
No they sealed their own fate
Clutching at lost hate

Every night I would go out
And wander among the garden
Something about the night air
Made the garden feel alive

I would walk about for hours
Just watching the moon
Reflect off the gently swaying leaves
Of the great trees in the grove

I would never venture beyond them
My mind would not allow it
But on this night in particular
The trees called to me stronger than ever

So I entered the grove
Cautiously curious
It quickly grew denser
And appeared much older than it should

As I continued on
I thought I noticed the trees move
Perhaps it was just the wind
Or my vivid imagination

I followed the path laid out
By whomever had come here before
And soon I found myself
It a strange new environment

The foliage itself seemed to change
It all seemed foreign to me
I looked back only to see
No visible path from which I came

I had no choice but to keep walking
And so I continued on
That dark forest path
Into the ominous night

It lead me to a clearing
With a great lake
That so vividly reflected
The light of the full moon

The water itself seemed to glow
And as I looked out I noticed a figure
Sitting on a small island
In the center of the lake

They wore a pure white dress
More elegant than the stars
It seemed to absorb the very light
From both the moon and the water

I felt a calling to them
Even stronger than that of the forest
Though I could not swim
I began to wade through the water

I found the water to be fairly shallow
So much so that it did not rise above my waist
As I drew closer I began to hear something
A sweet voice reverberating off the water

Soon enough I came to the island
which was sparsely vegetated
The only light other than the figure
Was a strange luminous lamp stand

The white dressed woman
As I presumed her to be
Did not turn around
Nor seemed to notice my presence

In the dim yet pure light
I looked about the island
And came upon something
That I should not have seen

Strewn all about the ground
Were piles of bones
Just from quick observation
I could tell they were human

The voice I had been hearing stopped
And the white woman began to move
She moved in a way so unnatural of this world
That I had trouble focusing my eyes on her

Soon the sweet song turned foul
And in that moment I knew
That she was the one from my dreams
The white dressed woman

The keeper of night

There are dreams below me
Great nightmares above
I am tethered to both
A kind of stasis in between
If I’m killed I go to the dream
If I die I go to the nightmare
I fear to fall twice
In either direction
For I know not what layer
Might lie beyond
What I have thus far discovered
I know not which is better
The limbo in which I reside
Or the dreams and nightmares
To which my mind travels
Perhaps in endless time
I will tire of this stasis
And die twice that I may explore
The vast unknown frontiers
To free myself
From this primordial curse

The strands connect all things
Our dreams and our reality
So who are we to judge
What's real and what's a fallacy

We truely know nothing
Beyond our own sight
We even question ourselves
In the dead hours of the night

Whether I'm real or fake
Or part of some grand scheme
I can't say I really care
If it was just a lonely dream

They say truth is absolute
And I believe that to be true
But all that really matters
In this world to me is you

She walked there
Among the boreal forests
The chilled northern winds
Covering her every track

Eternal in youth
Yet terribly wise
She sang along the frozen river banks
That cut through the deep woods

She sang of forgotten things
Lost to the boughs of sleep
Of journeys once taken
And distant things once said

How she knew of such secrets
And from where they came
I could not dare say
I only knew her song enchanting

A faint aria in the snow

Amber stars
Light the way
In-between
My vertebrae
Where oceans swirl
On distant shores
The remnants of
What came before
And there within
Myself to find
Who I was
Will be in time