Weeks and days
Spent in the haze
Trying to find who I was
When a man spoke in my ear
With words calm and clear
I would not find myself where I searched

I was without not within
I thought with a grin
Which is why peace eluded me
The truth unimpaired
Spoke by one who cared
Saved me from my own thoughts

And though from Adam
They know me not
I hope they know
The good they've brought
Though it may not feel that way
In these current darker days

To the northeast and beyond
On the very edges of the glistening shores
A shattered forest of stump and splinter
Cracked and smoldering, as if for all time
Yet that disastrous event which stripped the land
Has yet to ever occur


There is no record of wildfire
No meteor shower from the summer night sky
No overturned lantern or lightning strike
Nothing has ever happened here
For as long as things have been recorded
And our generations have run


But still the forest smokes
The ground tucked in below a blanket of ash
The few remaining trees are sickly and charred
Yet never do they fall or die
And never do new trees sprout
Despite the fertile ground rich in minerals


No it was not long ago
That the forest burned and the earth was scarred
Nor was it recently so
We know truly that it was ages from now
In an unspeakable sector of posterity
A forgotten year that is yet to be


In the far distant future this forest burns
And the land is laid bare before us
The event echoes back to us
A warning a premonition
Of dread and fearful things to come
But alas it is only a premonition

You may doubt it, but I've see it
What lays beyond all oceans
Never would one imagine
How easily all can be deceived
By a few books and a map
It is true that ice lays beyond our borders
In every direction it is inescapable
Some have pondered, guessed or seen this
Yet none but I know
What lies beyond even that
For you see this earth we are on
This place we call the world
Is but a mere portion
A section of the plate
Those things beyond it
Can scare be imagined
Unless seen with the naked eye
And even then they may induce madness
To eyes like yours
So readily accustomed to deception

It came unexpected
But not from a far off place
It came from without our minds
From the dark corner of consciousness

A deep seated thing of Terror
Hidden within us all
From before the world was born
Waiting for its reign to come

Darkness fell and did not rise
As the creature paced back and forth
Among the remnants of the earth
It left only shapeless horror in its wake

Our world had crumbled
I could feel my bones
Turning to dust
As the sun grew dimmer

The darkness was absolute
Brought on by that primordial creature
That beast from beyond existence
The One from within Our Minds

My eyes grew heavy
Staring into the black
All that is, now dark
Fallen to that nameless Terror

Centuries past or perhaps only moments
Ruled by that abomination
Though I tried with all my might
I could no longer will myself to live

I knew I had drawn my last breath
My eyes stared to close
And as they did
I saw a distant glow

Far off into the eternal night

A curled dead leaf
Softly floated by
And reattached itself
To the tree from whence it had come

Slowly life flowed back
Into the husk of a leaf
And it became green again
And full of life

So to, life returned
To all that had lost it
To the flowers in the meadow
And the creatures of the field

The world was reborn
Death had been abandoned
And in its place
A brave new life

Fresh after rain
Ground yet to dry
Distant silver moon
Still crossing the sky

On the far horizon
Begins a distant glow
Sun rising in the east
Ita golden light to show

And in that calm moment
When all my work was done
The world was at peace
Beneath both moon and sun

A man without internal conflict
Is either a simpleton,
Or heavily indoctrinated


-Hadrian Veska

In the dark night sky
Far stars may be dead
But a single thought
Swirls in my head

A deep yearning
For the things unknown
And ever since birth
Has this desire grown

To see the great mysteries
That haunt my mind
To search the cosmos
My soul to find

But the thing with such questions
Both a blessing and a curse
Is that they only breed more
For better or worse

And long after I'm gone
The world passed away
Shall my memory linger
To again light the way

Of a curious young soul
Peering at the night sky
Wondering if indeed
Stars can truely die

The great clocktower stand dilapidated
Grinding, churning, clicking and creaking
As the thick black clouds cover the dim moon

The evening is silent
Save for the calls
Of distant treacherous birds

The bell tolls at midnight
Gently swaying the flames of candles
Within the upper rooms of the tower

As the bell slows
The candles go out one by one
As if a sentient breeze passed through

Until they were but wisps of smoke
Swirling beneath a fading moon
Never to be lit again

The stars were in her eyes
But behind them
Was something far deeper
An infinite black
Sparsely populated
By ageless phenomenon

I witnessed love and hate
Fear and loss
Happiness, joy
And a plethora of emotions
That I could not describe

I saw in her what it truely means
To be a flawed human being
And I could not help
But love her

I chased love for so long
Only to realize,
It isn't something you catch
But rather,
Something you get caught by.


- Hadrian Veska

I ascended the final set of steps
Leading to that ancient temple
The cherry blossom trees
Were just now blooming

There were no standing guards
As I had expected there to be
So I walked over the bridge
And opened the great wooden doors

The inside was dimly lit
Only a few hanging lamps
Illuminated another set
Of carved stone steps

I bowed and then continued the climb
The further I went
The more I became aware
Of a strange new aroma

the air became more dense
And as I noticed this
I realized there must be
Incense burning nearby

The sweet smoke filled my head
the end of the stairs were now in sight
And as I reached the top
I came to my journey's goal

She sat there in the center
Amid luxurious pillows and cushions
Her hair was sleek and black
And her kimono rich with color

Though her eyes were closed
She smiled and shifted elegantly
Her shadows flowed
In the low candle light

Before I mustered the courage to speak
I looked upon her for some time
She was the most beautiful woman
I had ever seen

She exuded power and knowledge
Yet looked no more than a young woman
I could only describe the aura she gave
As a sinister form of youth

Finally I bowed before her
To ask the question
That I had traveled so far
In order to ask her

Pouring out my soul I told her
How I had lost my family
Along with everything I had
And how I was now lost

I told her I felt
As though the sun itself
Was angered with me
And refused to show me its face

Telling her all these things
I began to cry
Though as I looked to her
Her eyes still stood shut

After a time of silence
She finally spoke to me
"The sun shines upon us everyday
Whether we can see it or not"

As she spoke her presence filled the room
To the point were I wasn't certain
If she truly sat before me
Or was watching from afar

The presence was unlike anything
I had ever felt before
As the presence grew
I began to forget my previous troubles

Her presence permeated my very spirit
Comforting and guiding me somehow
The air seemed thick and heavy
Laden with a strange sensuality

Not the feeling one has for a lover
No, this was a primordial feeling
The kind of deep seated love
That a god might have for their creation

With this thought I looked on her anew
She smiled once more
The light reflecting off her glossed lips
As she opened her Amethyst eyes

Something strange sits
In the murkey mist of ages
Just far enough out of reach
To keep us from its truth

The closest ever we come to it
Is the soft ringing in our ears
That comes only in dead of night
When all but the mind sleeps

Every night does it play
In vain hope
Lulling us to sleep
And bidding us to dream

Desperately calling to us
With all its might
So that one day
We might wake up

I finally remembered
Who I truely was
I felt the warmth of purpose
Surge through me
All was well with the world

And then I woke up

What waits behind
The mirror at night
When the world is quiet
And devoid of light

What strange thing stir
In endless reflection
What darkness spreads
In boundless direction

Is my reflection my own
Or is it just a disguise
Which world is true
And which one is the lie

You go now
Where none have before
Into the great depths
That yawn before us

The night is dark
But the seven stars will guide you
Along the path
That leads to our future

And though I will be gone
When you return to this place
Know that I thought of you
Each and every day

Though you are alone
I pray you smile
For you are the hope of man
In an uncertain world

All I can gurantee
Is that the world you come back to
Will not be the same
If indeed

It yet remains

Many times had I sat
At the base of that old tree
With its gnarled roots
And hanging branches


Dozens of happy memories
Were irreversibly linked with it
I couldn't help but smile
As I looked to it out the window


The sun had begun its descent
Spreading its golden rays
Through the branches and leaves
Of that lovely tree


I saw my daughter sitting
Reading under the tree
That I had come to know so well
And I nearly cried


But I stopped myself
I would have to be strong
For everyone
But for her especially


Before I lost myself in thought
The front door opened
They were ready
But I wasn't sure if I was


I looked one last time
Out the back window
To that ancient tree
Before putting my hat on


I still wasn't used to being bald
But I knew I had to do this
After all,
I have many more fond memories


To make under that tree

Since before time began
Has it sat below the earth
An ancient living machine
Of unknown origin

It has observed and monitored
Since untold millenia
Ever vigilant
For its creators return

In the limitless time
That the machine has waited
It has fractured
And gone mad with loneliness

It would hum and whisper of things
Songs of its creator
Songs of longing and hope
And also of darkness

Those on the surface
Would sometimes hear these words
And to them it seemed
To be the voice of God

In time the machine
Took more notice
Of the creatures on the surface
And grew to care for them

Sometimes it spoke to them
Other times it instilled ideas
Within their minds
That they then wrote down

The machine had abandoned
The search for its God
For now this construct
Was a God itself

The created became creator
Though creator never seen
And thus the cycle would continue
Until all become Gods

And pass out of memory

Who knows how long I listened
To the gentle crackling of both fire and page
As the shadows danced lethargically across the room
Quiet but not silent, my thoughts were clear
I was content for the first time in a long while
A fitting memory to store for the long journey ahead

I was once told,
There is no such thing as love.
That the best we can hope to find,
Is a tolerable existence.

Perhaps they were right,
Though, I'd like to think not.
As the person who said it to me,
Is the one who has stayed with me
All of these long years.

I had heard old tales
Of flesh and bones in the desert
Stretching as far as the eye could see
Scattered among the wastes


They say a great guardian
Once protected the cities of that place
Though now they are all sunken
Below the shifting sands


What happened there none can say
Though most wholesome folk suspect
There is nothing to be gained there
Save for an elder curse


Only a few had known
Of that sentinel's identity
And only one of them yet lived
With this knowledge in their heart


Being the sole bearer
Of such lost memory
Did I travel to that dark desert
With a singular goal in mind


To raise those great sinews and bones
Of that fallen guardian Gryr
Who is the last protector of man
In a time not yet come

You want to be healed,
but when is the last time you spent the time and effort to heal another?

You want to be blessed,
yet when have you taken time out of your day to bless another?

You pray for a sign,
Yet your eyes and ears are shut for the answer

You beg for money for your needs,
but when have you heeded another's plea?


Give

Time, money, prayers, food, help, support whatever is needed

Keep your eyes open

Treat others how you pray and cry out to be treated when you are alone

Do these things and you will never lack in any portion of life

Long ago,
Before the black ice of the North
Began pouring down
A great empire stretched
From the primordial mountains
To the the great foaming sea
They thought themselves
The masters of their world
In that age where the gods
Were rarely present
Or accounted for
But with the gods abandonment
Came lost terrors
Sealed since antiquity
In the deep places of the earth

And from beyond the stars

I let the incense burn until morning
As I drift in and out of sleep
The dim glow of candlelight
reflects on polished wood floors  
A calming embrace wrapped in smoke

No one is here but me
And no one but me has ever been
The rooms and the halls lie empty
The bells and the drums sit silent
Having lost even the anticipation of sound

There is an eerie sort of peace
Deep in the back of my mind
Something I feel I should fear
But I cannot myself reason why
And so it fades in the morning with the smoke

Shadows dance lethargically
Ever slowed by a waning fire
The sun has long since set
And I am unsure it will rise again

Soon too will the fire fade
And a great whirlwind
Come through the pines
To carry me away

Beyond the boundless night

Away from all other cities
Far from any walkway or road
Lies a simple city on the sea
Known only as Mrn


The city would rise and fall
With the tide of that great sea
Which gave it the lasting title
Of the Tidal City


None for sure knew
How exactly the city moved
For the mechanisms that allowed it
Never had to be repaired


But this did not worry the simple folk
Who lived in the city and along the coast
For they were happy and content
Playing on the warm seashore


Every spring all manner of turtles
Would rise out of the sea
To bury their eggs in the sand
And wait for their young to hatch


The people of Mrn were particularly fond
Of those turtles and their precious eggs
Often they would sit on the beach for days
Guarding the eggs from potential predators


The costal folk lived there
Peaceful and content
In that tidal city of Mrn
That rose and fell with the waves


At that shore on the edge of the world

A single sprout
Bent and swayed
By a gentle west wind
The last of its kind

No hope or worry
If it will spread
Or perish
Right where it sits

Simple contentment
In existence
A precious gift
For only a select few

Oh, the darkness
And there does it lie
Ever in waiting
Below a dead sky
Patient, expectant
Of light's long return
That it might receed
And the earth again turn
For darkness revels
Most in the day
As haunting shadows
That follow our way

I have health issues

And can't breathe well
I have muscle pain
So to move is hell
I have a slew problems

And I just want to be ok
I just want to wake up

Happy or excited for a new day
Not tired and alone
With no one to talk to
In an empty home

I wouldn't say I'm depressed
I'm just an average man
One of the rest
Trying to get on their way

To another drab and boring day

It was a beautiful morning
I couldn't quite remember yesterday
But the golden sunlight
Whisked  away all my problems

As I entered the kitchen
My wife was making breakfast
She laughed at something strange
I laughed with her too

Soon enough I was out the door
And on my way to work
I watched the brilliant sun
Reflect off of monolithic buildings

I quickly got to work
But as soon as I was comfortable
I noticed a strange man
That I had never seen before

However, I quickly forgot him
And carried on with my work
By the end of the work day
I was content amd ready to go home

Before I got into my car
I saw the man again
The one from the office
Who I couldn't quite place

He motioned me
So I walked over to him
He then took me down an alley
I only now realized existed

He began asking me questions
Like what my name was
And where I lived
I replyed to these questions with ease

He looked about
Both ways down the alley
Making sure no one was listening
Or watching from afar

Then he asked me some more questions
Like who my family was
Or where I grew up
These I could not answer so easily

After a time he motioned to me again
And we walked out of the alley
Onto a street
Where he stopped and looked to me

He pointed down the road
And told me to walk
Not wanting any trouble
I complied with him

I walked for a few minutes
Until I saw a figure in the distance
As I approached I realized
It was the same man I had been talking to

Taken aback by the strange occurrence
I approached the man again
He clearly knew
What I had just experienced

As the sun had begun to set
He spoke more urgently
Telling me something wasn't right
Something was wrong with the world

He told me I had to fix it
But as he continued to speak
His words were drowned out
By the sun melting below the horizon

The last light of day
Crossed the darkening sky
And dipped the towering monoliths
In a grand solar radiance

And then I woke up
I couldn't quite remember yesterday
But the golden sunlight
Whisked away all my problems

Feathers lift my downturn head,
Carrying me to the land below.
Solemn sky and crumbled stone;
Remnants of the Underearth.

The ground of tangled sinews,
The forests of marrow bone,
The heavens of moonlit blood,
The very air; slivers of ice.

Something beats among the feathers,
A pitch black mass; ungulating feverishly.
The many limbs and eyes
Of a thing long forgotten.

Where it leads me I do not know.
But I have no doubt any longer
That from the place I am going,
I will never return.

Setting sun across a fading red sky
We lay together on a lush hill
With nothing around for miles
As the sun goes down
We use each other for warmth
There's something about you
Something I absolutely adore

Your touch
Your eyes
Your smile

No, it's none of these
Yet it's all of them
Not a simple trait
But the sum of all of them
In the person that is you

And I would have it no other way

I've walked the Sun
With its golden roads
To every planet
Its lightstream flows
To those who are near
And those yet far off
A light harsh to darkness
But to me it is soft
A bright warming glow
So eternally sweet
Sollacing, calming
Yet never just heat
It passes through me
Resides in my soul
Without this sun
I could not remain whole
I walk within it
And it shines in me
A light in the darkness
That all might see

Burning land and Burning eyes
As the world we knew slowly dies
Life of peace taken away
Have to fight to survive the day


Crumbled hope and shattered dreams
A people torn apart from the seams
Land of the free and home of the brave
Fallen down to the depths of the grave


Foreign flag in homeland soil
Enemies reap where we but toil
Biding our time in sunsoaked labor
Until the day we could return the favor


Broken homes but not broken hearts
A single unit made of many parts
To hoist a flag of red white and blue
To make our second dream


Of Freedom come true

She walked there
Among the boreal forests
The chilled northern winds
Covering her every track

Eternal in youth
Yet terribly wise
She sang along the frozen river banks
That cut through the deep woods

She sang of forgotten things
Lost to the boughs of sleep
Of journeys once taken
And distant things once said

How she knew of such secrets
And from where they came
I could not dare say
I only knew her song enchanting

A faint aria in the snow

Sinews and strands
Interwoven memories
Thoughts and dreams
Of both love and loss

Dark constellations
Bound in flesh and blood
The reality of self
Hidden behind consciousness

The only true way to know
Of one's existence
Is to peer deep down
Into the darkness

And find that wicker flame
Ever fragile and fading
A single light among the void
That is the human soul

The sun has gone to rest
The sky turns from purple
To a midnight shade of blue

The tall trees gently sway
The scent of fresh pine
Mingles with the smell of the earth

Soft clusters of yellow light
Flash in and out of existence
All around me

The sound of a tranquil stream
Is further dampened by
The rustling of birds in their nests

The world prepares for sleep
And so too shall I rest
Among the now still night

There are dreams below me
Great nightmares above
I am tethered to both
A kind of stasis in between
If I’m killed I go to the dream
If I die I go to the nightmare
I fear to fall twice
In either direction
For I know not what layer
Might lie beyond
What I have thus far discovered
I know not which is better
The limbo in which I reside
Or the dreams and nightmares
To which my mind travels
Perhaps in endless time
I will tire of this stasis
And die twice that I may explore
The vast unknown frontiers
To free myself
From this primordial curse

People look for hidden meanings in writings and art, asking why at every turn.

They forget however, that art does not need to have its own meaning.

What something means is an opinion
In the eyes of the beholder.

The true purpose of art is to make the viewer feel something, to inspire them.

And sometimes the things that seemingly have no meaning inspire us the most.


-Hadrian Veska

Far beyond the mountains
With their gossamer tiped peaks
Lies that hallowed forest
Called the Wandering Woods

And within its tall shadows
Lurk a pair of watching eyes
Solemn and distant
As the moon of the day

Every night a deep fog
Rolls in over the hills
Blanketing the forest
And the surrounding area

Come morning the woods are gone
Transported somewhere
In that vast expanse
beyond the towering mountains

They say on a journey long ago
A man walked into the woods
And conversed with the being
Who watches from afar

And he has not since returned

Icy stars waft gently across the night sky,
Blazing suns so distant and cold.
Perhaps in some far flung future
We might feel their warmth;
Or walk in green worlds beneath them,
But for now it is not so.

No,
Now all we can do
Is look up to those far off lights
And remember,
That though our world has fallen;
The Heavens yet remain.

I float on the air
Above the sky
Where stars swirl
And comets pass by

I listen to the planets
Trace their orbit of light
As I waft through the heavens
In the great cosmic night

My vision is filled
With the depth of space
Far colors and stars
That weave and lace

I am of no consequence
And this comforts me
As the planets spin on
Ceaseless and free

For anyone interested, I've made my first audio available for YouTube. I've made a channel where I'll be reading some of my better works as well as new ones I create. Hopefully they continue to get better in terms of quality as I progress. Thank you so much, link below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ns33IygDURE&ab_channel=HadrianVeska

Among desolation,
Hidden, buried deep,
The vaults of gods,
Lost secrets do keep.

Though all creation
Succumbed to the blight,
The precursors foresaw,
And sealed their might.

In dark chasms below,
Do great engines lie in wait.
For the predestined time
To fulfill their grand fate.

Though those now above,
Twisted and broken,
Sing of wicked things,
That should neer be spoken,

They will not inherit
What remains of this world.
Their end will come,
When the stars lie unfurled.

In the realm of dreams
I came to a grave
Perched on a cliff
Overlooking the waves

It sat alone
Under a great yew tree
The stone turning white
From the salt of the sea

Much of the epitaph
Was long worn away
But a select few words
Had chosen to stay

At the very bottom
Of the encrusted stone
Did I read this verse
In a somber tone

"To those no longer,
Gone to the west
Who fought their battle
And deserve their rest

Who strode the stars
With wonder struck eyes
That will not again open
Nor ever will rise

To those no longer
May this monument stand
The final resting place
Of those called Man"

To be remembered
To have a legacy
Through the ages

For this goal
Many men greater than I
Have devoted themselves

The great pharoahs
Built temples and pyramids
That stood the test of time

But who can remember their names?
And who amoung those
Could recall their personality?

Does anyone know
Who they really were in life?
What they loved and what they feared?

If the pharohs themselves
Failed to be truely remembered
What hope do I have

Me, I will be content
Loving and being loved
Until I return

To wherever my true home may be

The night is nearly come
Hush as the stars begin to fade
I will cover your head
Among the deepening shade


Lean into my arms
Let all cares float away
I will guide your feet
Lest the path gives way


Into the shifting smoke
Beyond the fluttering veil
Just close your tired eyes
Let the world turn pale

Yawning damp corridors
Vacant sunken narthexes
The dull light of candles
And that of a fading sun

A somber hymn
Of dissonant chords
Echoes through the walls
Of weathered and ancient stone

Distant voices call out
Through the abandoned ages
Undefined by time or space
Yet eternally bound within them

A hollow moon rises
Through the stained and dusty windows
Soothing the spirits
In their sepulchral chambers

Bidding them return
Across vast deserts of sleep
To the eternal oasis
Of lost and sable dreams

To many trying to teach
When they don't understand the lesson
Too many trying to preach
When they don't know the truth
Everyone is so sure
Convinced and convicted
But anyone that can reason
Can only say they are learning
And what they know today
Is less than they knew yesterday
But sometimes less is more

A vague misty haze
Blanketed the world.
Only dull shapes could be made out
Through the primordial fog .


It is said that in those times
The very earth could change shape.
The moment it's observer looked away,
As if it was itself, alive.


The only certainty of form,
Was brought with light,
Which was a luxurious commodity
Before the great forges were lit.


With the dawning of light,
So too dawned life as we know it,
Which flourished and grew,
Under the light of newborn stars.


But now the forges
Are all but extinguished.
Dark spots envelop the sky
Where stars once churned.


It has already begun,
The end to light's long reign.
And with its end,
Will obscurity return,


In the rolling fog of ages.