Amber stars
Light the way
In-between
My vertebrae
Where oceans swirl
On distant shores
The remnants of
What came before
And there within
Myself to find
Who I was
Will be in time

She walked there
Among the boreal forests
The chilled northern winds
Covering her every track

Eternal in youth
Yet terribly wise
She sang along the frozen river banks
That cut through the deep woods

She sang of forgotten things
Lost to the boughs of sleep
Of journeys once taken
And distant things once said

How she knew of such secrets
And from where they came
I could not dare say
I only knew her song enchanting

A faint aria in the snow

From the forests to the seas
Great planets and beyond
Ever wanderers we
Until we are but gone

The house had burned down
Though the home was destroyed
Long before the curling flames
Ever touched the old wood

Every night she drank
Far more that she should
And every chance he got
He left her for someone else

Always yelling and fighting
They were never calm or sober enough
To spend any meaningful time
With their only daughter

She was a lonely young girl
Who walked on eggshells
A girl with beautiful black hair
That covered the bruises well

She would stay in her room
Trying her best not to get involved
Hoping the extra lock on the door
Would hold out one more night

She never wanted to go back
But if she didn't it would be worse
She thought as she came home
On an overcast fall day

Besides, They were always
Passed out drunk anyway
By the time she came home
From school or practice

Looking up from the ground
She saw a strange sight
Deep black smoke filled the evening air
Where her house used to be

She knew better than anyone
Her parents were still in there
The fire blazed in her eyes
And something kindled in her heart

A breif grin came on her face
As she put her hood up
And walked off past sirens and lights
Into the cold autumn night

You can say or you can do, but not both.
That is why wise men speak so little.


- Hadrian Veska

I prefer darkness
But I'm coming around to the light

I know full well why I prefer the dark
I'm not comfortable

And the darkness hides me
Engulfs me in its indifference

The light is blinding
Exposing all my faults

It leaves me naked
Laying my iniquities bear

Yet it is also warm
And rejuvenates my soul

Though I prefer the darkness
As I learn and grow

I think I'll come around to the light

I want to know what it's like
To be myself around someone.
To be truly accepted,
Flaws and all;
To be at ease,
And to feel loved.

For anyone interested, I've made my first audio available for YouTube. I've made a channel where I'll be reading some of my better works as well as new ones I create. Hopefully they continue to get better in terms of quality as I progress. Thank you so much, link below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ns33IygDURE&ab_channel=HadrianVeska

Legendary king
Warrior of fame
Hid in plain sight
To protect their name

Lost the throne
And had to fight
For what they thought
Was true and right

But in the end
against a tree
They lay broken
On bended knee

The ideal they held
Throughout their life
Brought only sadness
Separation and strife

With their dying breath
They made a deal
To fight once more
Under binding seal

Be proud of your humility
But humble of your pride

-  Hadrian Veska

Soon they will return
As promised before
To our ancient fathers
In the days of Yore

And with them then
Will the world pass away
As if it were
Just a brief winter day

2041-10-21 00:01 AM

Release Type: Major Release

Firmware update 2.1

Project "Visionary"

Patch notes

Features:
+improved processing
+Cloud based computing enabled
+thermal imaging
+Multi-tasking
+Added immunity
+Added 2-8x variable optic zoom

Removed:
-Need for sleep
-Pineal gland function
-Lactic acid fatigue

Debugging:
~Fixed dream sequence error
~Moved unmarked memory files to active drive

A fix is currently being worked on for the nervous
system malfunction with error codes:
R35-B
R250-F1
S22-4
U717-0

Back door entrance code ███████████ enabled for future use

Ever has that spirit wandered
Since forgotten days of yore
Searching for one lost to him
One lost and nevermore

A bandage worn on the left eye
A flock on birds travel back the sky
The weather comes but never nigh
Unto such a place unknown

He would leave if he were able
Past the stone grave and table
From this land grey and sable
But he fears that he may forget

For none now left do remember
The calm and cool of September
Those memories are scare an ember
Within even his own mind

The sun now there grows ever dim
It’s royal colors stretched and slim
Though none remain who remember him
He will himself recall

His home before the fall

The key circles round to the lock
A lock which is known needs no key
A door that only faces inward  
On the outside has nothing to see

To open the way is to find yourself
Staring at the firmly locked door
To find the key is to notice
You've not needed a key here before

The way to ascend is much lower
Not up or through but behind  
So that door and its lock will remain
Until we let them leave our mind

The curve of the Earth
So peaceful and elegant
A mist of blue stretched
Over forests of green
The bird sings it's song
High in the trees
A tale of a young world
Hidden among the heavens

It grew unabated
Every month it could shelter
Another few million souls

We tested in on Ganymede
Within less than a year
The colony was thriving

But it did not stop growing
In the subsequent years
It covered the surface of the moon

It grew and grew
Until it deemed its very denizens
A threat to its survival

Few escaped and those that didn't
Were forced to hide
In the recesses of that endless city

In time the city engulfed
Not only the surface
But the depths as well

It grew until nothing was left
But a living maze
Of metal and machinery

A place where none
Now dare venture
The planet city of Birulon

Twisted hot metal
Coiled and wound
Around thin necks
Held to the ground

Limbs malnourished
Temples concave
On all a dark symbol
Cruelly engraved

The swelling illness
Spreads with the ice
Together repaying
Our sins over twice

The sickness unending
From the stars brought down
Our final judgment
Shall be our crown

What is man
But the culmination
Of sin and circumstance


-Hadrian Veska

I've seen him
The one who sits outside creation
Whether he is God or not
I could not say

For he was far stranger
Than I though God might be
If I stood next to him
He would have towered over me

The surface of his skin
Seemed metallic and ever shifting
And upon his head
Was a strange helmet

Upon closer observation
The helmet was made of bone
Perhaps the skull
Of some long extinct creature

The being continued his work
On some infernal machine
Whose purpose and design
Were beyond my comprehension

I do not know for how long I watched
But eventually I saw his head
Turn in my direction
As if he saw me

He stood motionless for a time
And then walked closer
His strange helmet churned
And began to shift

He stood not but a meter before me
Then bent to my level
An insurmountable terror
Overcame me and I froze

Just then his helmet began to open
Peeling back in a far too organic manner
As it opened an all together new terror
Washed the previous one away

For staring back at me
Was both the nothingness and infinity
Of all space and time

And then I woke up

Anger is not an emotion
It comes from the inability
To handle other emotions

-Hadrian Veska

Every so often they would come in
Turn the lights on and ask me questions
Then record my responses

Never showing emotion
They only asked and observed
Perhaps seaching for certain responses

The room had no windows
I could not truely tell
If it was day or night

My memories were blurred
And with each passing test
They only grew more clouded

The observers returned again
This time not asking
But telling

They told me things
Both mundane and strange
Supposed events and occurrences

Whether they were in the future
Or the distant past
I did not know

I listened to and answered
The faceless observers
For what seemed like days

The time came
When they seemed satisfied
With the knowledge I had gained

And they endeavoured
To show me one final thing
By wheeling out a simple mirror

They faced it towards me
And what I saw looking back
Shocked me to my core

In the dim relection
I saw a strange machine
With churning part and glowing orbs

This machine was me
Though I knew not how
For it was not a form I recalled

One of the larger observers explained
I was the last intelligence
Of a long extinct race

In fact they told me
I was the last individual intelligence
In the universe

For they were all part
Of a greater hive mind
That had absorbed all creation

They planned to bring me
Before that grand being itself
Once preperations were made

Silently and without emotion
They left the room
And turned the lights off again

I was alone again

I, the sole survivor
Brought back from the oblivion
Of an antiquated age

To face the god of this one

The curtains gently blow
To reveal a face behind them
Though if it is yours or not
You can not be certain


You also notice a light
Behind the obscure face
Though its souce and distance
Remain a mystery


The cutain continues its flow
Following the current of the wind
Strange notes ring softly
Somewhere beyond the window


Looking out the window once more
You see that the face is gone
And the light has changed form
Though in what way is uncertain


The notes continue playing
Beginning now to form
A simple yet harrowing melody
As the dark curtains flutter


After a moment the breeze stops
And the curtains sit still
Your attentiom drawn from them
You notice the figure in the room


In the corner of the room
Sits a black mass of shadow
Its exact shape or form
Too vauge to determine


The only thing you could notice
Was the face among the shadow
It was the same one you had seen
Outside the open window


The curtains shifted in the wind again
Revealing the outside once more
But the light was now gone
Replaced by a engulfing darkness


Down the hall
A light bulb flickered on
Dimly revealing that black mass
And the face that sat among it


And then it too went out
And after it did no light
Returned to the room
Or to your eyes ever again


And then you woke up
As the curtains gently fluttered
In the late evening breeze

Nothing is born
Of its own fruition
No intelligence simply
Springs into existence

Everything is created

We search for our maker
Just as our creations
Will search for us
Long after we're gone


-Hadrian Veska

The time came
When our great endeavors
Placed us at the edge of the universe

And all our theories were wrong
The universe does not expand
No, it all leads to a single point
A strange place with primordial pillars
That we called the Gates of Night

On it was a short inscription,
That oddly enough,
We could understand

It read
"We sheltered you, as best we could
From those that would devour all.
Once you pass these gates,
They will come for you.
We had hoped to stand by you
In your proudest moment,
But from this point on,
The fight will be your own.

Once you pass these gates,
They will come for you.

And you will be ready."

Disease is contagious
If you aren't careful

Laughter is contagious
If you're in the mood

But hope,

Hope is contagious
No matter the circumstances


-Hadrian Veska

The leaf grew and shriveled
Grew and shriveled
Pulsing like a heart beat
In an out of existence

The nearer I came to it
The greener it swelled
The further I pulled away
The dryer it became

I could not bear
To watch it wither and die
So I stayed by it
Throughout all seasons

I was so intent on caring for it
That I forgot myself in the process
When I stepped back I realized
The leaf had the same effect of me

When I withdrew I became weak
And as I approached
I became satisfied and content
At ease with the world around me

Cast your demons to me
That I may dispell them
Wisps of smoke
Fading into the night
Confide in me
That you may know
I will not abandon
The promise I made to you

My life is three walls
Soon to be four
Lock the room
And remove the door

They all talk to me
About nothing much
Their daily routine
Or such and such

One is my friend
Who I keep close by
When he is dead
I always cry

Two is bulky
But full of power
He can make a whole day
Last just one hour

Three is the largest
In terms of space
Yet he grows thinner
As if it's a race

When I'm without them I feel
Unease and fear
If only I had four
I can't wait till it's here

Those that strive their whole life to be remembered, forget themselves in the process.

-Hadrian Veska

the antlers of the stag
Sit high on a wall
Embedded in a wooden shield

The trophy of a forgotten battle
A great feat of courage
In long years past

The wood of the shield
Now rotten and faded
And the antlers porous and brittle

Time has not treated the trophy well
Nor has the memory
Of the men that sit below it

For none could now say
As they sit by the fires
That they knew the man

Who brought the great stag to its knees

Below lies
What was once above

Trapped
In a fragile stasis

And the unfinished rites
That hold such things in place
Are easily broken

If their slumber is disturbed

The boards creek
In a broken home
Not due to time
But because she's alone

Wandering the halls
filled with dusty light
the old clock chimed
just out of sight

No one returned
Since the fight had concluded
The resentment only grew
As they brooded and brooded

And in their wake
They abandoned her there
With tears on her cheek
And tangles in her hair

she would look out the window
From time to time
But no one came back
The clock continued to chime

The day drew to an end
As the shadows of night
Gently pulled themselves
Over the far horizon

I book an inn for the night
For I was far from home
And the long journey
Had left me sore with fatigue

After talking around the hearth
It came time for me
To retire to my room
Amidst the rising moon

As I entered my quarters
I scanned around
By the dim glowing light
Of my half worn candle

Directly in front of the bed
Was a very old portrait
Of a shadowy man
And trees in the distance

I gazed at the art work
The likeness was impeccable
And made even more realistic
In the low light of my candle

Soon after I put out the wick
I had passed out on the bed
Yet I had a restless sleep
Filled by a sense of dread

As I woke up in a sweat
I tried but could not
Pin point the source
Of my nocturnal fear

After rubbing my eyes
I looked again to the painting
But all I saw was a window
And distant trees

Gently swaying in the wind

The clock has been set
And it's counting down
To an inescapable doom
That we feel so imminently

But the clock is just a construct
Devised by man to tell the seasons
Time itself holds no weight
In the grand course of things

The clock will eventually break
When midnight is struck
Signaling the arrival
Of humanity's end

In our aftermath
Creation will carry on
As if nothing of consequence
Had even taken place

And truely nothing had

To many trying to teach
When they don't understand the lesson
Too many trying to preach
When they don't know the truth
Everyone is so sure
Convinced and convicted
But anyone that can reason
Can only say they are learning
And what they know today
Is less than they knew yesterday
But sometimes less is more

I took the path through the woods
Past the swaying wheat fields
And though it lengthened the trip
I really didn't mind

For every time I traveled
I passed through these woods
Hoping that one day
I might see her again

Many thought her a myth
Others a demon or enchantress
But I knew her as only one thing
The Fox-Tailed Girl

And perhaps she was an enchantress
Wandering the forest before dawn
With her golden brown tail
And a sly look in her eye

The moment I had laid eyes upon her
I knew I was in love
The kind of far off longing
That only dreams can sate

As the sun began to rise
I stopped my wagon off the path
And took a long drink
From a crystal clear creek

I the washed my face
Clearing my tired eyes
And as I looked up
I was startled and taken aback

She stood there across from me
Leaning forward naked in the pure morning light
I looked away as best I could
But she only smiled and laughed

She appeared physically young
No more than 17 years old
but I knew better
That she was older than the trees themselves

Splashing water about
She began to play in the creek
A sense of annoyance crossed her
When I didn't immediately join in

Her tail was sleek and swayed about
As I watched I failed to notice
Her splashing me in the face
I fell over in surprise

Water rolled down my forehead
My hair was wet
And as I looked up
I saw it was raining

I was still in my cart
It appeared as though
I had fallen asleep
The sky was now overcast

I put my hood up
And continued on my journey
Wishing that my dream
Was more than just that

Leaving the deep green forest
I couldn't help but think
That I had seen something
Out of the corner of my eye

A pair of devilish eyes
Peering out from behind a tree
A wry smile and a golden brown tail
Or perhaps nothing at all

A broken hero
In a fallen land
Leans against a tree
No longer to stand

Death surrounds him
And so does it's god
Bidding him rest
No longer to trod

She whispers sweet songs
Without time in his ear
Lay down to rest
There's nothing to fear

Just close your eyes
And Drift with me
To the land of The fallen
The realm of the free

She carried him off
With a tear in her eye
As she did the hero thought
It's not so bad to die

I laid down to sleep
And dreamed awake
Imagining beyond life
What form I might take

What joy I might have
In the freeing of my soul
What peace within
Once I'm made whole

But for others too
Did my dreaming mind turn
So I wandred the heavens
Hoping to learn

Whether the world I knew
Was worth the sorrow
Whether I made a difference
In someone's tomorrow

And in my travels
Did I met a great truth
That we must live for each other
Both in age and in youth

It does not matter
In life who you are
Whether you're rich or poor
From near or afar

What matters is the heart
Faith and hope from above
And the greatest gift of all
Is the thing we call love

Timeless river
Flowing strong yet slow
White warm clouds
Floating overhead

Sweet babbling brook
Bridge of old stone
Little ones
playing in the meadow

The world is quiet
Peaceful and still
The summer winds whisper
Softly in the trees

The sun hangs low
Hiding behind the hills
thin swirls of smoke
Rise from happy homes

Night comes soon
To blanket us beneath
Far stars to protect us
While we rest our hearts

I dream awake, then fall in space
To a strange, dark and forgotten place
The sky is grey the sun grows dim
In the distance I hear a somber hymn

Light leaves the sky, darkness falls
No moon rises above the walls
Twisted trees grow in place
Branches curve begin to lace

The grounds move, fall and rise
The winds sing of watching eyes
I try to move but there's no where to go
The darkness beckons As Above so Below

Torrid mangled hair
Dark gnarled talons
Sunken features
And hollow thoughts

The steeples all have fallen
Under the pressure
Of weighted prayers
And the dead souls that spoke them

Communion with the beast
Only brought forth
A more vile form
Of corruption and emptiness

The nightmare it wrought
will stir unending
Throughout all dreams
Lest the church be rebuilt

Upon the bones of ages

The smell of autumn
Thick in the air
Colored leaves
The trees to wear
A quiet stream
Hidden and deep
A tender secret
The forest must keep
And presiding over all
The great harvest moon
Heralding winter
Coming thus soon

A beautiful young woman
Lived alone on the shore
Having lost her husband
In a far off war

Yet everyday she smiled
And walked along the beach
Peering across the sea
To a place beyond reach

In her wistful gaze
Did she hear a shrill sound
And when she turned she saw
A child on the ground

A brown haired boy
Crying in the sand
She quickly ran over
Scooping him up in her hands

She hushed the child
Amd held him tight
As the sun began to set
Leading into the night

She said "Come little one
Listen to the sea
Hold my hand
And walk with me"

His parents had abandoned him
To run off far away
Leaving that poor child
On the shore that fateful day

And though she wasn't his mother
She loved and cared for that child
Who grew up healthy
To be tall, strong and wild

The time came when that child
Free, began to roam
And the woman only smiled
When he departed and left home

Now again she was alone
Yet always happy never sad
She had raised a beautiful son
Of that she could be glad

Years past and one spring day
The boy returned to that shore
With his lovely wife
And the child that she bore

Now she could not hold back
The tears welling in her eyes
Having been alone so long
This was quite a surprise

That boy she had raised
Who was now a man
Smiled back at her
And held out his hand

He said "Sweet mother
Let's listen to the sea
Hold my hand
And walk with me"

Ever have they dwelled in that sickly city,
That even the flowing ice avoided
As it crept down from the heights,
Devourving all in its path.

Among evil shadows,
Did they practice their craft.
In the primordial conurbation
Of forsaken Yir.

Since time immemorial
They have met in silence.
Beneath Yir's dark obelisks
And the backdrop of jagged mountains.

Many believe them necromancers.
It is even said in myth ,
That they were the ones to create man
In order to spite the gods .

But such memories ,
If ever there were any,
Have long since passed
From the revelries of thought.

None have seen these sorcerers
Or that sable city of Yir
Since the ice had receeded
In more recent ages.

In fact, not even the location
Of that monsterous place
Can be agreed upon anymore,
Which many count as a blessing.

For though the city is lost,
And unseen by the eye,
The meer mention of it
Disturbs and unsettles the mind.

As if it's raven spell,
Was never truely lifted.

We heard the words
But knew not what to say
So we returned
To the work of the day

Strange folk had come
From unknown place
To share with us
And with our race

They spoke with ease
Yet moved not their tounge
They spoke for hours
Until the lights hung,

To this day I can't recall
The greater of things they said
Nor their ancient stories
Which now have left my head

The only thing I do remember
Is a repeated phrase they spoke,

"Then, then when the sky is red,
And shadows bloom
Inside your head,
When the heavens break
And all is dead,
Then you will know
What we have said."

Solemn towers
Ornate broken arches
An ancient place
Past all living memory


The curious may seek it
Yet never will it be reached
Though they may walk
To the edge of the earth


Ever visible yet just out of grasp
Perhaps beyond the mortal plane
Some call it the home of the gods
Others fear it and turn away


It is said that one man
Walked his whole life
And near death he stood
At the gates of that place


At his death they opened
And a beautiful feathered woman
Whisked him away
Through the ancient gates


The great gates closed
The moment they entered
Perhaps never
To be opened again


And the sun never set
Nor will it ever rise
In that distant realm
Beyond the waking world

I don't think you're pretty
I think you're a lot like art
Not meant to be pretty
Meant to make me feel something

We are alone in the universe
Spinning on endlessly
A single blue marble
On the spiral of eternity

The universe is empty
There's no reason to explore
They say authoritatively
Be still and dream no more

Its too dangerous, it costs too much
And it isn't worth out time

Is that what the great explorers said
In the stories, myths and rhymes?

If we could all unite
Under such a common goal
We could not only better ourselves
But creation as a whole

They say that we're alone
And indeed we may be
But we'll never know for sure
Unless we go and see

Many seek knowledge all their lives
And certainly they attain it
Yet no seeker of knowledge
Has ever attained wisdom


This is for one singular reason
Knowledge does not lead to wisdom
No wisdom is only grasped
When one knows the truth


The wise man does not seek knowledge
For he knows this is vain
He begins his search at truth
Looking for its signs all about


And he finds them
In the bubbling brook
The swaying trees
And the quiet world around him


The sun of the day
Is his friend and companion
And the moon of night
Is his watchful guardian


His world is at peace
And ever shall it be
Even when all knowledge
Has passed out of memory