Tired

I am tired
I really am
please don't question why
cause I feel a hurricane
tearing at the roots of my sanity
a weight bearing down at my shoulders like rain
yes all I did today was wake up and walk around
yes I didn't leave the house
yes I am just 16

but my energy left with the
openings of sunrise
the cradle that whisked me to sleep
never stops rocking
I am swinging back and forth
wondering when the lullaby will end

so please
Mom
don't ask me why I'm tired
when I have done nothing
I just am
it is hard enough to move
my best friends Depression and Insomnia
hold me in there grasps
It won't matter if I get sleep
Or when the light goes off
I do not want to move
but I do

I drag myself to school
work
my friends
I have many things to do
but this everlasting shadow never leaves
it covers me like a wedding veil
obstructing my vision
I don't know where it comes from
I do not welcome it with open arms
I will forever wish to feel the kiss
of a good nights rest
or a day where I don't have to hold life
like a deadlift

let me rest
let me lie down
because i never really woke up

Don't let the unsaid words choke you to death

I miss you
I love you
Forgive me

Don't let the toxicity of these words consume your head

Whisper it, shout it if you must
They won't know it if you're not being just

It's not the fact that you're leaving that hurts me the most
The thing is I'm afraid that the memories will turn into ghost

I want you to promise that you won't forget too
But you can't  because you know it's possible that we do
The only thing I wish now is for you to be happy
For me, I'll move on and live life without "we"

Right now I'm here
Trap inside my room
Staring outside the window

It's funny how fast things can change
How love can eventually turn to rage

I have never lost someone important like you
I have never experienced to feel like a blue
Yes, I have expected to be hurt
But no
I don't want you to leave me by this world