sad songs
with happy tunes
remind me of
sad people
with happy faces

I'M TIRED OF TEARING MYSELF DOWN
BUT I CAN'T GET THE KNIFE OUT OF MY BACK
OR MOVE THE GUN FROM MY TEMPLES
OR THE BAD THOUGHTS OUT OF MY HEAD
AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

It's been a year
since I saw you
die

since I slept rest-
lessly, my forehead pressed
against your
hospital bed

Night after night
your struggling
breath and
the beep beep beep of
your monitors

It's been a year spent
licking my wounds
in hopes that they
would heal,
like people say that
time will do

It's been a year
since I saw you
die
and, my
love,

I still can't
live without
you.

turning someone else's pain
into our poetry
is a crime we're all guilty of
putting ourselves in their shoes
just to be able to recreate their distress
on paper
momentarily,
just to feel something
to be able to write
to connect with the words we type

we're empty inside
we've been ****** dry
exhausted our pain
completely drained
with all our worries having drenched the paper
too many times before- flooded.

we turn to someone else
internalizing their woes
stealing their sorrows
so that we have something worth writing about

we need to write
it is vital for our survival
so we turn to victims of hurt
of abuse, of loss, of misery
we turn to you

we are
bloodthirsty; savages

pain is our medicine
it's what keeps us alive
i suppose it's a good thing
that there's enough to go around

my eyes are tired of crying

if i dont make it,
don't cry because i didn't get there,
smile,
because i made it this far.
don't cry because i wasn't strong enough,
smile,
because of the strength you gave me.