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  Mar 2015 Genoveva Preciado
a
so much like the paper, it crumples
it remains untouched but has been molested
trying to close itself up, until you came and
tore open the stitches and shed the
protection
so much like the paper, it falls
leaning on the words of another to live
their inscribed marks upon its open skin
scars not marks, wounds not scars,
because the wounds have not
closed yet
I want to get drunk one last time
Just to know what I would say
Intoxicated words come out so much easier
Than trying it the sober way
I want to tell him I love him
I want to tell the truth
I want to feel like everything is acceptable
I want to talk to you
I want an excuse to come clean
About everything I have felt
From love to hate
to anger to lust
to that time I wanted to **** myself
I want to share things I am too scared to share
I want to hold him tight
I want to thank you for breaking my heart
I want to share incredibly sad things in the dead of the night
I want to be brave
I want to talk a lot
I want someone to listen
And not just laugh it off
I want to get drunk
So I can be who I truly am
But alcohol is bad
And I am clean
So I will filter these thoughts for now
I am not tempted, nor am I inspired, by the fire anymore
I've hard wired my tired wars, to my tired words
burnt up by dying worlds, until matured

No burn in the flame
no excitement
nor shame

no N0th1ng, but the fire
no wishes, nor desires

just the flame
  Mar 2015 Genoveva Preciado
Diba
you were beautiful you’re like a living breathing sunrise. I loved you immensely. But, I looked at you but there was no fire
I talked to you but there was no conversation
I lay next to you but there was no desire
I kissed you but there was no spark
I looked in your eyes and they said you had lost interest.
And i know you said you would never leave me but it’s been 4 months and you love him.
You love him.
Nights of trying to find remedies for sadness included chain smoking on the roof until i coughed so hard i could feel my heart in my throat spending hours in the shower trying to cut your touch out of my skin
Wide awake at 4 am wishing i would be yours forever, but baby that’s not how things work anymore.
  Mar 2015 Genoveva Preciado
Born
Here we are
where we were
we talked
we fantasied
we had illusions about us

Here we are
where we were
we whined
we fought
we scared each other

Here we are
where we were
we kissed
we caressed
we made love

Here we are
where we were
we toyed with our hearts
we,us,our kisses were full of lies
we,us,our love perished
we drowned
I though we were friends, correction I thought we were best friends. The day I left, you were the best actress because you sure had me fooled. I thought you actually cared that I was leaving. Now that I’m not around, I’ve come to realise who you really are. You don’t deserve to have poems written about you. You don’t get to decide when you want me in your life. I thought I could send you to the curb, erase every last memory I have of you, I thought I could delete you from my life. For once my thoughts have not deceived me. You have disappeared into the abyss with any emotions I once had. They cannot be found again nor recreated. I refuse to be ****** into your vortex of lies.
I didn't expect for it to end like this
It was almost too easy
I said that I needed time
So you left me
Just like that
A year long love was gone
Like a storm, it was there
Did it's damage
And left
-
And now I'm here
Standing in the pouring rain
Outside your aparment
Phone in hand
About to call
About to ask for another chance
-
As I raise the phone to my ear
The door opens
You walk out onto the wet pavement
Memories assault me & fly away with the wind
The day we met disappears
Our first lingering kiss gone
All of those nights we spent together fly away
The first time you uttered 'I love you' shatters
And I'm left, empty
A shell of who I used to be
Because you're there
Walking past me
With someone else
-
She's clinging to your arm
Like you're her life-line
Just like that
All we used to be is gone
Like dry lightning in a desert storm
You're gone into the storm.
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