A freedom that’s fading with each wrong turn Continuing to walk down this cursed path Completely apathetic to the consequences of these action Simply not caring anymore Toying with a life
Playing with fire Enjoying the pain that comes with getting burnt I am once again dancing with death Methodically digging my own grave at the age of 18
If only it was possible to escape the incessant chatter of my own internal dialogue Tasting the sweet nectar of freedom Something other than this bitterness that remains in my mouth
The smell of rust and alcohol lingers Reminding me of the sins that have been committed My hands have been stained red with the crimes I have perpetrated
I scavenge each corner of this shrinking body Searching for something I like Instead each imperfection is illuminated Etched like a map on this sheet of translucent paper
You took what was rightfully mine forcing words into my mouth pulling at these limbs like I was a puppet turning me into something not human making me believe I was utterly worthless
I became the problem as the blame fell on me all our misfortunes and failures were my fault I was the monster hiding under children’s beds howling into the dead of night
You restricted my growth forcing me to kneel at your feet there I begged for your forgiveness time and time again filled with guilt and shame watching the broken mess we had become wondering where it all went wrong how we wandered so far off this path getting lost in the bitterness and anger our hearts turned cold veins filled with each-others poison
Fighting fire with fire striking a match and standing by as everything we had burnt this thing that we created was not the product of love but of hate and resentment
We turned green eyed in this feeding frenzy hungering for one another’s flesh viciously tearing down these walls infiltrating each-others vulnerable minds
You had my slowly beating heart in your hand but instead of nurturing it you blackmailed me forcing this mind to become tethered to your own
Whenever I looked over my shoulder I saw you those cold eyes scrutinising every single action and interaction filtering the words that came out of my mouth
I could feel your nails digging into my flesh as you forced yourself on me your warm breath still lingers here I have tried running but these chains prevent me from ever getting far a truth I cannot escape and a past that refuses to let me go
The scars you left behind are a permanent reminder of all that transpired here the sins we committed hand in hand ensuring each-others demise
You broke me and I am still trying to pick up the pieces rummaging through the rubble trying to find something beautiful again a piece of this canvas left blank
Your shadow will always linger at the corners of my mind but I have found a new strength within a resilience emerging from the broken and heaven forbid you try and take that from me
Sometimes when I’m talking to someone I ask them if they like music They say yes, and maybe name a few artists Then I ask them if they like poetry and they say not really never got into it And I silently laugh to myself yet break a little, too