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 Jan 2015 Gwen
Liam Kleinberg
Some people spend years trying to find what they really want.
Nobody really knows if they are content with being content.
Married by twenty-five and three kids by thirty-three.
A nice suburban house with double doors and everything you've ever dreamed of in the hard wood floors of your newly renovated kitchen.
Your house is littered with toys that you don't even remember buying.
Constant arguments over why you spent two hundred dollars on a purse but you swear to God it's designer and completely worth it.
Your children are sneaking out at night and you snoop through your daughters diary because you say you think she's on drugs but really you are just nosy.
You have boring, repetitive missionary *** every other Tuesday and you are sure that *** didn't used to feel this dull.
Your children leave and you are left with a near empty house again.
You spend your time with golf and knitting class to try and fill the gaping hole left in your heart…
*******! There is a senior yoga class at the YMCA.
Your every breath is laced with worry of your offsprings in the real world.
You think back to when you were in high school and how you dreamed about being a ballet dancer.
Where has your life gone?
You can barely stand without the help of a cane because your knees are too old and creaky.
You can't even remember your old street name and your children stick you in a home because they can't manage with crazy old mom around.
They visit you once a month and eventually
you forget you even have children.
Your last couple of breaths are panicked and regretful.
You have your memories knocked back into you with the fear of a reaper.
You realized you never actually lived and you want to go back.
You dwell on every mistake and missed opportunity
You regret not following your dreams.
You want to go back.
You want to go back.
You want to go back.
You want to go back.
You want to go ba--
 Jan 2015 Gwen
bulimic kittens
Nobody noticed it at first
How she was losing weight by the minuet
“I’m not hungry” she always said
But I could see through her little white lies
Because little did she know
But Ana and I were also friends
Mia was my friend as well
Ana told me to skip meals
Mia told me to purge when I didn't
They say,
Hungry to wake,
Hungry to rise
Makes a girl a smaller size
“I’m not hungry” she says
She rehearses that same line everyday
Along with her fake smile
Because she can almost convince others
But convincing herself if the hardest part
this is one of the first poems i ever wrote. please dont judge or hate.
i wrote it about me and my sister,
 Jan 2015 Gwen
honey
smoking kills
 Jan 2015 Gwen
honey
[Ive been smoking a lot
and im starting to doubt
if im breathing you in
or smoking you out]

most nights I miss you
but im no longer sure
if the pain that I feel
can ever be cured

its hard to explain what its like to be numb
but its poisoned my mind
like the smoke in my lungs

now my burdens are heavy
they're breaking my bones
its weighing me down
to know im alone

but this sadness is comfortable
and I know what to do
ill collapse into it
like I collapsed into you

Ill let it consume me
and the thoughts in my head
to try and forget
the words that you said

but no matter hard I try
to wash you away
I see smudges of you
on me everyday

[and now I lay like you once did in my bed-
I lie like you
Im lost in your head]
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