Jordan Harris

Jordan Harris Jul 2014

monster

you are too young
to hear such things
yet they spew from my mouth
as i spit poisoned blood
snatched from my lungs and ripped from others' throats

i reek of acid
it breaks me to know it tears through you
slicing deeper than the silver blade i use
to carve myself to a shape i think might be better
though you would never admit the pain
at least, not to me

i say you should abandon me
you say i have no right to claim order or jade
and i'm not
i just know the truthful why
are you blind or do you refuse to see?

i am the nightmare
the fear that flares in the back of minds
the shadow haunting every eye
when it retreats to safety from the misery and torture of the world

i am
the pain that blinds
the blood that chokes
and
the breath that was never exhaled

i need you to understand
to see the horror i embody
so you know to run
so i can't hurt you
so i can't hurt me

clawing at shards of shattered knives
i desperately try to force your sight

yet i cannot keep pushing all this at you
all of me as myself
this ******* monster
i know i am

#monster

Jordan Harris Jul 2014

Hideous Horoscope

a sylvan safety
doomed to die
so
left alone
it wonders why

corrupted carcass
melts to mush
as
choking chains
burn the brush

fearsome flames
lick at lies
and
rotten roots
fend off flies

blackened bark
torn in two
by
scent of smoke
of beastly brew

sinful scandal
heinous hate
cause
worlds to wander
and face their fate

#fire #fate #horoscope #forest #hideous

Jordan Harris Jul 2014

Letters of Humanity

Forgive me dearest mother; I have blood on both my hands.
I seem to keep on torturing and murdering your lands.
My siblings, we have fought, or more so waged war in your toes
and it was never in our right to throw you all these woes.

Now sweetest child whatever do you think that you have done
when all your actions have been planned to fulfill only fun?
You sail across my waters and dance in sylvan brush.
What harm could you have done in joyous smile and sweetened lush?

Why we have killed and stained the world in our own heinous pride!
I simply do not see that fact, just flick the thought aside.

Our factories spew onyx soot to poison all the air
their mammoth boilers seething heat no one could ever bare.
We melt your gemstone icecaps to make tsunamis out of fears
and drown the world in oceans, salt-filled with dying tears.
So ravenous is hunger that our stomachs burst with acid
consuming grand and graceful woods, aged and wholly placid.
We don't even take ownership of our raw gruesome deeds,
and yet we have the guts to say others are filthy weeds.

Oh such greed that runs and courses through our soured veins
we crack a whip, so carefree, as we throw our kind in chains.
We are the grand oppressors. That is all there is to it.
We trample on the trodden to squash out all the spirit.
The bombs we build explode to carve deep craters in your heart
tearing blood away from blood and forcing friends to die apart.
We use wars as excuses to burn and **** and pillage
never mind the ceaseless, toxic flow of radioactive spillage.

Experiments on your children throw their lives on gory shelves
to concoct potions and elixirs to immortalize ourselves.
As arsonists we roar to celebrate forgotten pain,
and the world trembles in fear when we set fire to the rain.
Burglars sneak about in black beneath a starless sky of smog
while miscreants cheat cheaters and lie in lazy bogs.
We claim to have a right because 'survival of the fittest',
but we are murderous monsters: the bottom at our best!

All this is quite alright my child, for after all you see;
you are the only one you hurt, your bombs cannot scathe me.
You are such selfish creatures, though not in the way you think
not self-centered in the fact you seem to consume in such great feat.
No, you my little narcissist with such egotistical mind
you are selfish because you are oh so very, very blind.
For the truth, my sweet child is that all your ****** games
harm not a single soul but you: humans and their names.

Your flames burn but your ashes, your explosions reap *your dead,
and the lacerations you inflict? scar just inside your head.
The world will live regardless of your stained and guilty hands
and honestly, you won't be missed from these alluring lands.

#death #of #humanity #human #letters #global #warming

Jordan Harris Jul 2014

Freak or Empathic

There is a difference between knowing and understanding.
You know how I feel because I have told you;
I explain my emotions
and you chose to listen.
I understand how you feel because I live it.
You do not tell me,
but I understand
exactly
the emotions
that course through your
body and mind and soul.

I never chose this.
And I never wanted it.

When I tell people I am an empathic
they mostly roll their eyes.
They have no idea what I am talking about,
until I touch their skin
and relay
every emotion
of their
whole
lives.

Then they call me freak.

But I cannot help it.
Anything that feels pain I feel pain for.

When your teeth sparkle in laughter's sunlight
mine twinkle under the changing moon.
When your skin turns searing red with rage
mine glows white hot as a smith's hammer.
When your lungs burn from submerged depression
mine are right there
waiting
to release their final breathe.

There are those
who turn and marvel
like I am some otherworldly being
meant to be shoved in a glass cage
and goggled at in a zoo.
They tell me it is a gift to understand.
To that I say:
this world is no utopia.
How would you like to see every flaw?
How would you like to drown in the ocean of tears?
How would you like to experience your skin raw from all the fury?
How would you like feel the ragged edges of scars
raised as far as they were cut
with every curious brush of your fingertips?
You wouldn't.
This is no gift
unless from Hell.

In my lifetime
I have tried to make it
so the world doesn't hurt
so that I don't hurt.
Now I know;
I can't.

I can't whip the tears from each child's soft chin.
I can't massage the ice from each man's shriveled heart.
I can't dowse the flames from each woman's fiery tongue.
I can't.

The only thing I can do
is change my position within this world
in an attempt
to heal my scars.

And I am not sure which soothes my pain more:
surrounding myself
with those from whom I receive the most
sorrow and anger and dread
because they
understand me;
they can help,
or
engulfing myself
within the entourage of those who always smile:
to drown out all the pain
and push the world aside.

#personal #empathy #freak #empathetic #empathic

Jordan Harris Jul 2014

Farewell

I’ll say goodbye to the stars that dot the night
and likewise to the moon that floods the dark with light.
I’ll breathe goodbye to the sun at its great height
and so to the clouds that range from black to white.

I’ll sob goodbye to the underfoot of soil
and repeat this to the frothing ocean at a boil.
I’ll cry goodbye to the vines that wrap and coil
and such to the flowers, unafraid of toil.

I’ll scream goodbye to the birds at dawn who sing
and furthermore to the tiger, who’s roar will always ring.
I’ll spit goodbye to the insects on the wing
and finally to the men who thought they could play king.

#anger #sadness #goodbye #farewell

Jordan Harris Jul 2014

I'd tell you everything,

but you reduce me to feeling.

6 word story

Jordan Harris Jul 2014

Painful in Parting

Come here, I miss you, radiant one
with heart the size of Zeus's raging storm.
There is a song circling your irises,
traversing immense emotion,
filled from indigo depths of an ocean's mirror
and poured over the searing rim of the strongest volcano.
Such power fuels painful wars,
but you won each battle with bleeding fists.
And I cannot wash your hands
because mine are covered too.

Come here, I miss you, magnificent one,
fierce and clever: protector of all.
Now, you have fire in your sight,
lava on your tongue, and embers in your belly.
But the brazen flames I love, those livening your whole,
you tell me they flare from your fingerprints,
and then you are burnt.
And I cannot douse the embers
because I choke myself on the ashes.

Come here, I miss you, beautiful one,
such pain among the four of you.
With soft eyes sweet and wide as fawns,
such youthful play within your soul.
Creativity and intellect course through your veins,
yet you carry the weight of three
almost strung up by the neck.
And I cannot coax them down
because I am one of them.

My friends have always been there for me.
They support me through so much.
But I? I feel completely helpless
whenever I try to be the shoulder
instead of the tears.

They have always been the best of me, and I love them for it.

#love #friends #suicide #sad #sadness #happy #self-harm