pony-tailed playmate
head tucked in her shirt
gazing steadily down
at her toes in the dirt

chaos tiptoes around her
naive oblivion
journeys in far away lands
just west of the meridian

watercolor fairy tales
bleeding outside the lines
unaware of the danger
unaware of the signs

let me sit with you, darling
in the dampened flower beds
and paint a new world
for us in our heads

I tell my secrets to children
in the form of fairy tales
A "Once upon a time," is enough
to quiet down their wails
and I spin stories as well as spiders
weaving webs that a lost child
must navigate the tangled trails
with cleverness and wit
sharper than any sword
more accurate than any arrow
I speak of children who questioned
the established path of rejection
and this misguided idea of reciprocity,
"You must suffer because it happened to me."
Because my blessing in life was not brute strength
but a clear mind and clever tongue.
I tell my secrets to children
so that they may grow smarter because of them.

You love me
Like a dog loves a bone
Or a cat loves a mouse

Which is to say
You love me for a while
Until I no longer taste good

You love me long enough
To carve tooth marks into me
But not long enough for it to stop hurting

You love me
Like a tree loves water
Or the sky loves the stars

Which is to say
You love me when you need me
When I am there and there’s no one better

You love me half the time
When there’s not too much of me
When I am accentuating your beauty

You love me
Like you love yourself
Or I love myself

Which is to say
You love me sometimes
Despite all of the pain

You love parts of me
The parts that are there when I’m happy
Or when I pretend to be happy

You love me
The way you know how to
And I love you the way I do

the onset of my descending mind: -
i remember it well

a baby flower
barely a flower
picked it up
told it to grow
grow
GROW NOW
GROW
scolding, screaming

ripped it apart,
unfolded its wings.
desperately tried to retreat
tried to fix itself

irrevocably exposed
efforts wasted
seethingly hurt

crying
CRYING
why did i do that

the foreshadowing
of my comeuppance

Prickly rock in throat,
5:20am, thin drowsy air.
I can see three cats playing.

Moist eyes recognise,
this is the calmest felt
in 27 days.