I have learned that there is beauty in the silent and quiet.
That you don't have speak eloquent words to be heard, seen, or understood.
Your presence alone is enough.

It's funny, isn't it? How beauty and art can come out of pain...

it pains me to know that i won't get to see the people i care about
that they will eventually be far from me
maybe that's why i tend to push people away
thinking what's the point of being so close to someone
when eventually we'll be apart anyway

but God has been teaching me to love others wholeheartedly
to see each person as someone who He died on the cross for
to see as He sees
to hear as He hears
and to love like He loves

i don't know if i'll be gone tomorrow
tomorrow is not guaranteed
therefore i will love relentlessly
forgive others as God has forgiven me
and to live knowing my purpose and desire is to make His name known and not my own

i try to speak, but my native tongue is silence.

i hate feeling like i'm just trying to survive each day lately...
when i want to be thriving - living my life to the fullest.
but sometimes, it's okay if you have to just get through the day.
you tried, and that's enough.
keep going.

The worst type of sadness is when you want to cry, but no tears come out...

she missed her childhood photos, so she asked her mother if she could find them. she wanted to look at how happy she was when she was little. look at that smile, she said, while holding a picture of when she was five. that smile; so vibrant, bright, and gleaming. would she be able to smile like that again? she saw so much color in her world, now her days are filled with hues of black and gray. she feels as though her world now has gone cold. but those memories of the past remind her that although she doesn't feel happy now, there is always hope. hope that things will get better. she just needs to find the light around her, and within herself, to keep going despite the pain.

everyone has experienced today in a different way.

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." // Oscar Wilde

The Creator of E minor, oceans, mountains, glaciers, galaxies, stars, the universe
thought of me before the world
ever came into existence.
He knows the number of hairs on my head.
He understands me more than any human being who's spent a lifetime with me.
He formed me and knit me in my mother's womb.
He counts the stars and knows them by their name,
and yet He thought of me.
He loved me so much that He sent His one and only Son to die for me on that cross.
Bearing all my guilt, pride, and shame.
And to think that I am always on His mind.
He is speaking and calling out to me in nature, creation, and still
He calls me beloved.

we all have 24 hours in a day
the thing is
how you're gonna spend those 24 hours

make it count

unapologetically, I will be.

i have waited
sitting at the bus stop waiting for the bus to arrive
checking my mailbox for a letter from a dear friend
crossing off the days on my calendar till a birthday or holiday
counting down the minutes until class gets out

i'd like to think i've always been a patient person
but sometimes, waiting makes me impatient
sometimes i ask myself
what am i waiting for
why am i wanting to go faster
when i should learn how to slow down
embracing the moments of waiting
teaching me that there is beauty in waiting

waiting for that moment to say something on my mind
when i have thought about it for so long
waiting for that moment to say hello
and perhaps in the goodbyes

waiting
teaching us patience
that in the things we let go of yesterday
will soon come to us
if we wait
patiently

i'm learning to find beauty in the ordinary
just like in the shape of a shadow
i hope i can learn to do this in myself

maybe i am too afraid to love for the fear of getting hurt.

i want to say "i love you" and "thank you" too much than too little.

maybe we're not scared of death. maybe it's that we're more scared of showing who we really are, to only end up rejected.

“Be weird. Be random. Be who you are. Because you never know who would love the person you hide.” // C.S. Lewis

my favorite color has always been blue
most people may associate blue with sadness
which can be true
but blue is also
the color of
the ocean
and the sky
so blue is not such a sad color afterall
i think blue is my favorite color
because even though it may be a "sad" color
it still is beautiful
the days where there are blue skies
the days where you gaze off
into the distance of the vast ocean
i think that's why blue is my favorite color

i'm scared at how time seems to fly by...
someone please
stop this train

i'm 23, and i've come to realize what people mean when they say that your 20's is the hardest decade, because i feel it. i feel it hard.
sometimes i question why life must be so hard, but i know that suffering produces endurance, endurance; character, and character; hope, and hope does not put us to shame in Christ Jesus.
each day feels like a routine and sometimes it's hard to get out of bed, but i will thank God for the breath He's given me, and although i may not know what lies ahead, i know that He will guide me. but i have to make the step.

We all just want to be understood. To be heard. To be known. To be loved. And to those people in your life who accept your imperfections and downfalls; those are the people who deserve a special place in your heart. Never let them go.

it's okay not to be okay.

I wanted to live until I was one hundred years old when I was a child
Now I want to live a fully lived life
Everything in this world has an expiration date
We will all pass away and become dust
But how do I want my time on this earth to be spent?
Spent worrying about the things happened in the past
Time wasted with people who do not see my self worth or value
or don't even acknowledge my presence
The words I held back because I was too afraid to say them
for fear of judgment
The words I wanted to say to the people I cherish the most in my life
but didn't say them because I was too embarrassed or hesitant

This life is but a vapor
And I want to live each and every second of it
thankful for each breath God has so graciously gifted me with
I don't know if I'll die tomorrow
Tomorrow is not guaranteed

how can she express what she's feeling
if her mind is like a warzone
unable to pick out the verses
her heart tunes to

there she waits
frustrated by her own inability
to say what she's thinking

so she writes
ink flown on the pages

Did you know that an adult human heart pumps about 6,000-7,500 liters (1,500-2,000 gallons) of blood daily? Did you know that the epidermis or surface layer of the skin is renewed every two to four weeks? Did you know that the human eye can distinguish about 10 million different colors? Did you know that your body produces 25 million new cells each second? I bet you didn't know that. Neither did I. We take for granted how fascinating and amazing the human body can be, yet we don't realize that we are a living, breathing miracle.

there are so many songs you have not yet discovered, people you haven't met, concerts not gone to, things you never knew about yourself, places not yet traveled to, and letters not written or sent to loved ones.
embrace this incredible yet messy journey called life.

i've realized i have never or rarely shown my real self with anyone
but my family

and this upsets me
because it means
i am never comfortable enough
to reveal my innermost thoughts, emotions & fears
because i am scared i'll be
rejected, judged, and looked down upon

this is why i keep my true self
hidden

sometimes she hates not being able to express what she is feeling or thinking inside.
she is able to soar across universes in her mind, yet when she opens her mouth, she feels as though everything collapses.
she gets frustrated because of this, and so she keeps quiet.
perhaps she was meant to only keep those things to herself, she thought.
no one could understand her anyway. or hear her.
but the most important thing, she said to herself, is to be reminded that it's okay if someone can't understand what you're saying.
it's okay if you can't convey your thoughts and feelings coherently sometimes.
because we all struggle with speaking up. and that's perfectly fine.

life is not a race.
you’re not in competition with anybody.
not even yourself.
it’s a marathon.
your goal in life is to become more like Christ daily.

the wind blows through the leaves
as sunlight glistens
how i wish i could be as free as the wind

as followers of Jesus,
we will be rejected.
but we need to be reminded
that Jesus was martyred, murdered,
whipped, lashed, spat on, and condemned
for being the Son of God.
as it says in john 15v18:
"if the world hates you,
know that it has hated Me
before it hated you."
don't be ashamed of
being a son or daughter of God.
we aren't called to be like the world.

quality time is my top love language.
words of affirmation is my second.
i value the time i spend with people, because time is something you can't get back.
i think people don't realize the power of words.
they have the power to inflict pain or uplift others.
i suppose that is why i'm slow to speak and think so much before i say something. maybe too often. overthinking everything.
but it is important to think before speaking.
even though people may not remember what you say, some people remember what you say for a long time. it might be engrained in their minds because of something you said that hurt them.
choose your words wisely, and carefully.

sunrises and sunsets remind me that there is beauty in both beginnings and endings. learn to enjoy the journey in between too.

to all my fellow quiet people...
who have felt like what you have to say isn't
valuable, heard, or understood.
you're not meant to be understood by everyone anyways.
but those people who love you for you, cherish them.
those people deserve to know the real you.
stop being so scared of speaking up.
just as mlk jr. said: "our lives behind to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
so speak up about the things that matter.
use your voice for good.

I wanna go on late night drives with the windows down,
blasting loud good music into the wind, to feel alive.
I wanna go to more art museums, to feel inspired by what people can make with their mind and hands.
I wanna laugh until my belly hurts, the good kinda hurt, to remember that it's good to have some humor in life.  
After a hard day, laughing it off helps.
I wanna go on more road trips with friends to the beach and to the mountains, to feel small.
That all my worries compared to everything else are just so little.
I just wanna live my life to the fullest, because it's worth it.

education doesn't stop
after you get your college diploma,
your grad school diploma,
your ph.d...
education is life.
keep learning daily.
also don't forget that
God's wisdom is far higher
than human wisdom.
seek His wisdom above
human wisdom.
and most importantly,
live it out with your
deeds and actions,
not just your words.

perhaps in the moments of feeling lost, we find ourselves.

there is liberation in showing your authentic self.
no more hiding, no more trying too hard, feeling ashamed, feeling embarrassed.
there's no need to feel that way.
be authentic.

I am learning that there will always be people who will misunderstand you...and that's okay.
Because you were never made to please everyone.

these days, i feel like i'm drowning.
stressed.
tired to even do anything...
feeling out of control.
like nothing ever goes right.
feeling distant from God, from everyone, actually...

i know i can come to God as i am,
but i feel too messed to approach Him or pray.
i'll be honest, i haven't genuinely prayed in a long time.
i've been setting my mind on earthly things, rather than of God.
i know no matter how messed up i am, God embraces me.
i need His embrace.
i need His peace.
i need His comfort.
God, i need You, more than ever.
i'm tired, desperate, lonely, afraid, anxious, worried...
give me more of You.
You're all that i need.