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Ammar Jul 2017
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I wish you really ran to me
The way you used to
When all crashed
And all was broken

I wish you run to me still
The way you write you want to
Because all is breaking
Once again
Including 'us'

I wish that poem was actually for me
But I know it's not
Because if anything
You're running everywhere
But to me
  Jul 2017 Ammar
sage
She began to paint one night,
Never having taken a lesson in her life.

She didn't know what she was painting,
She didn't really know how to either.

But she picked up a brush,
And began to speak.

Her bristles spelt out words,
Her colours make the canvas scream.

The works she had done before spoke the stories of her heart,
The tales of her memories.

Anyone who had seen her canvases saw genius,
Saw light.

But when she looked at them,
She saw nothing.

She knew what they meant,
Each story embedded in her brain.

Her pain, and her hurt,
There for people to critique.

And the paint she used,
Seemed so bare and bleak.

She had been so desperate for colour,
She had tried to draw it from her skin several times.

But no one knew,
And no one ever would know.

Because in the end,
the only colour she really wanted to see was black.

Because these greys she saw as she stared at her work,
Told her she would never be able to understand how beautiful her words were.
this was supposed to be happy but nothing really goes my way.
Ammar Jun 2017
My love I promise you to give you my everything....my triumphs my failures (more failures than triumphs for now) my life my time my love everything....I promise to always be worthy of your trust and to support you and love you when we face our struggles and our tough times.
Since the day our paths crossed back in 2015.... you've loved me annoyed me frustrated me and challenged me in the best of ways and I promise to always love you and annoy you and even frustrate you and challenge you to be a better version of yourself
And.....
And I do not believe in a lot of things but today I wanna tell you some things I do believe in
I believe in sunrise and sunset
I believe in the rain and sunshine and I believe in beauty of life and nature
And I believe that all these things are so so so much better when you have someone to share them with and I want YOU Minha to be that person in my life and most of all I want ME to be that person in your life
And I swear there are 3 words stronger than I love you
And that is
I choose you
I choose you to love forever
I choose you to share my life
I choose you to grow old with
I choose you to have little babies with
And choose you give you my all
And my all may not be enough
And it may even be less and it may even be bad
But it's my all
My everything

I promise to try to give you my best
And to protect you from the winter cold and even the summer heat
And to love you in and out of bed
And I promise to get you the food of your choice
And the juices you want
And the drinks
And to give you my jacket in the cold

So please be my friend and be my lover

I love you Minha
Still isn't enough to make it up to her....
Ammar Jun 2017
Being so close yet further than we were in distance

2. I know it's your sale on Saturday which I was waiting to be a part of for a year now but now I won't even know about it or how many cupcakes you'll make or how they tasted

3. I know things might get ok soon...they always do but until they don't...I'm aware of the bitter things that'll grow in your heart

4. You won't even show up to see me even if it's the last time

5. I'll regret the decision I made that night even though I didn't mean it and it wasn't such a big deal so the chaos after that will never make sense

6. It kills me more to know that you'll regret the decision you made that night even more and the one you made next morning too.

7. You'll never consider the amount of effort I put to bring you back....you might never understand how much I tried

8. Knowing that in 5 days 3 people would've left you and 1 of them is me and I'm the the only one who you actually kicked out of your life too... 5 3 1 ...I know you hate odd numbers

9. I might have to spend a lifetime waiting for you and waiting to find out why you were so excited about the gifts you got me which I ofcourse never received and you threw some of the things away too

10. You might make another very hasty decision that will **** you later as much as it'll **** me now and I can't do anything but hope for you to be patient and not leave earlier

11. I love the memories and the memoirs but they'll eventually **** me if this is how it is to end.

12. We might never share the same bed wrapped in each other's arms shaking in pleasure and that is something I can't have with anyone but you

13. The fact that last night I had enough in me to put my dad's gun to my head and eventually pull the trigger too....only to hear the clack of an empty gun and I can't stop but wish it had a bullet and hope that maybe next time it will
I could keep this list going and I'd say "come back" but I won't cuz the more I say it the further away you go
  Jun 2017 Ammar
A
"I love you,"

I said.

He replied,

"Good night."

That night

I knew

what love was for me

was a dream to him
sad
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