These nights I pretend to myself
and whisper to myself that

its not only you but,
alas,
you are confused why it still pervades you.

But I am told that
God calls lying evil sin.
And through Eden,
God tried to say to the world -
that lust is demolishing.


( but who is god to say)
it’s all so beguiling
and delirious.
and god yes it’s demolishing,
when reality resurrects every day and I am
thrown  to watch it before me
even if I close my eyes
or bite my tongue till blood.

only the  false sins I whisper
will wipe the blood clean.

just because the star-
fish can grow its arms back does
not mean it didn't hurt.
______________

even though scars heal
and wounds fade it doesn't mean I
will forget the pain.

Dear beautiful evergreen
rooted down in the field
strongly upholding itself
like it has an impenetrable shield

The one that has experienced blazing summers
and freezing winters
not only seen warfare
but watched it from the center
winds blew it west and east
but it never went left or right
had blood on its leaves
but never got into a fight

Dear beautiful evergreen
That stands there all yearlong
keep your roots rooted
and continue to be strong