These nights I pretend to myself and whisper to myself that
maybe he knows love pretend you know love;you don’t. he’s confused? you are confused why he still pervades you. what you say in your head isn’t spiralling there alone. maybe it spirals him too
But I am told that God calls lying an evil sin. And through Eden, God tried to say to the world - that lust is demolishing.
( but who is god to say) it’s all so beguiling and delirious. and god yes it’s demolishing, when reality resurrects every day and I am thrown to watch it before me even if I close my eyes or bite my tongue till blood.
only the lying evils sins I whisper will wipe the blood clean.
I don’t think god runs this place who is he to judge