i cannot exaggerate You
because
there are no words
to describe how great
how majestic
how loving
how merciful
how beautiful You are.
i cannot exaggerate You
because
there aren't words that
capture who You are
and how You love
and what You do.
i cannot exaggerate You
because
there are no words for
You.

I know that insecurity isn't pretty,
*which is how I also know that I'm not beautiful

You told me something I hadn’t heard before
When you held me in your arms
and  whispered in my ear.
Something so different
to all the lies
From people who try to understand a feeling
That they know nothing about.
You said we’d get through this together
And promised tomorrow’s another day

I can’t hold on much longer
I think you can see it in my eyes
And the way my hands shake
I could be dying
And tomorrow seems so far away
My thoughts
are driving me insane
You tell me you’re so proud
Of the progress that I’ve made
You say I’m so strong,
But I’m not.

I may seem polished on the outside
But inside
I’m cracked like the bottles
When I drink.
If you could fix me
break me open
Pour out the poison
The stuff that’s making me ache
from every part
You could put me back together,
clean and pure.

Stitch my wounds with your love
I won’t cry if you’re my doctor
your voice will be my anaesthetic
Just kiss the incision
and tell me I’ll get better.

I’m accustomed to pain
to doubt
to shame
you don’t have to worry about hurting me

I am Beauty.
People are awestruck at my flawless grace.
They love my unrealistic face.

I am Beauty.
Pride follows my heavenly stride.
And flowers grow on  my either side.

I am Beauty.
People easily find my body.
They rarely find the heart within.

I am Beauty.
Always more envied than loved.
More cursed than ever desired.

I am Beauty.
Never loved by even one.
But lusted for by all.

I am Beauty.
Not made to be loved.
But only to hear Passion's call.

I am Beauty.
Happiness rests in my body.
Sadness rests in my unquenchable soul.

All sound is muted
Vibrant colours overlaid with gauzy grey.
My skin, my hair, are damp,
As if those things were weeping,  but have ceased,
As if I am made of tears
Or, have bathed in them,
Yet, I feel nothing, nothing but numb
No pain, ah – well, a faint, dull ache
As if my etheric body were trying to escape.
I am lost within and without myself
All insular, enclosed
Boxed, redundant, closed away
Grey is the way to the end of today.